If a person has sex once and immediately regrets it and comes clean to their spouse, takes full responsibility and then does all they can to rebuild the trust and be accountable, then I may believe that they are actually remorseful. If they went back and did it more than once, and were later found out, that is not remorse, that is being sorry you were found out.
The times that a cheater is honest and tells their spouse are rare. The times that they have sex only once is rare. True remorse is rare.
I really like this statement. My confusion is that cheating would happen in the first place. True remorse would seem to be identifying a situation that you immediately extract yourself from and confess a close call before it happened.
Is this a case of rationalizing a less rational act? Is cheating obeying simple genetic memory of reproducing?
Have thousands of years shown us we as society are far more successful in monogamy. Raising family. Are social extremists tearing proven social fabric apart resulting in single families, less marriages, open relationships? Did the devil make them do it? (Flip Wilson...)
I don't R or accept cheating. I just moved on.
I can control my urges.. generic memory to grab every babe in sight to reproduce/seduce have fun with and just focus that energy on the person I married. Ive resisted in-my face temptation more times I than can remember. These occurrences were not in inapproiate places. And while single or married.
Being just being married did not somehow stop my ways. I never lived that way in the first place. So I expect the same from my spouse.
There is no excuse for infidelity. I don't look For excuses or answers. For me, I move on.
married the right guy. He found he did not. He moved on. I can relate. Sympathy here for her is clear and strong. I have much more sympathy for her marriage and her husband. Sucks.. I don't know why it happened. She never will either. Perhaps her cake eating failed. Perhaps it was surrendering to genetic memory. Doesn't matter to me.
Perhaps I'm just less gray area than others. Maybe that is a fault of mine. Ain't saying I am right or wrong. Just how I am.
The BS should be able to freely decide for themselves all outcomes of a cheating spouse. Its the WS that is subject to consequences whatever they are. It's their lives. Too complex for a single answer. Just up to the BS and their heart.