How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #1 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-04-2018, 01:38 PM Thread Starter
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How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

This forum is for discussion on infidelity, cheating on your partner,

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post #2 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-04-2018, 01:39 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

Uh
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post #3 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-04-2018, 01:53 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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This forum is for discussion on infidelity, cheating on your partner,

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Is that a question or just the heading of the forum??

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post #4 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-04-2018, 02:02 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

Meaning you cheated and don't want to feel guilty about it? Why do you think you are entitled to not feel guilty? Cheating usually destroys the quality of the betrayed life, usually for a long time. Seem like the quality of the betrayers life being destroyed to a much smaller extent by guilt is more then fair

Infidelity is like car accident where everyone loses a limb. No one gets out unscathed. It changes everyone's lives. Even the ones who don't see it at first assuming you are not a sociopath.

What is your story exactly?
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post #5 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-04-2018, 07:07 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

An older guy's perspective:

We are all imperfect human beings who face a world full of temptations. We are suppose to resist those temptations, but sometimes people fail. When that happens, if we are lucky, we see our true character.

If he really repents and makes structural changes in his life, and through actions shows he is a different and stronger person, then maybe he is worthy of and can enjoy forgiveness. At that point guilt really belongs to the person he use to be. Not sure there are any other ways to enjoy life without being guilty.

To lead a good life we need to avoid mistakes and learn from the ones we make, so they never occur again.
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post #6 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 09:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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Uh
Be a bit more elaborative. Thanks

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post #7 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 09:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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An older guy's perspective:

We are all imperfect human beings who face a world full of temptations. We are suppose to resist those temptations, but sometimes people fail. When that happens, if we are lucky, we see our true character.

If he really repents and makes structural changes in his life, and through actions shows he is a different and stronger person, then maybe he is worthy of and can enjoy forgiveness. At that point guilt really belongs to the person he use to be. Not sure there are any other ways to enjoy life without being guilty.

To lead a good life we need to avoid mistakes and learn from the ones we make, so they never occur again.
To answer to that, everyone has been designed to cheat, its just the social obligation and closed ones feel that leads to one level of infidelity, now as per you, if you are with your partner and some one so drop dead gorgeous passea nearby,, u wont turn ur head..... Its natural. Infidelity starts than and there

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post #8 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 09:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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Is that a question or just the heading of the forum??

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Well its heading of the forum and it deals with the truth of facts called infidelity . Is it normal or forced.. Etc etc

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post #9 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 09:08 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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To answer to that, everyone has been designed to cheat, its just the social obligation and closed ones feel that leads to one level of infidelity, now as per you, if you are with your partner and some one so drop dead gorgeous passea nearby,, u wont turn ur head..... Its natural. Infidelity starts than and there

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Even asexual people?
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post #10 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 09:42 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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To answer to that, everyone has been designed to cheat, its just the social obligation and closed ones feel that leads to one level of infidelity, now as per you, if you are with your partner and some one so drop dead gorgeous passea nearby,, u wont turn ur head..... Its natural. Infidelity starts than and there

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As Jimmy Carter famously said yes he has looked at other women and lusted in his heart for them, but not acted on that.

I agree with Jimmy. A pretty woman can turn my head, but unless I do something beyond looking, it is not really cheating. My wife and I have some clearly understood boundaries.

Could cheating start with a turned head, a request for a phone number a shared meal? Yes, but cheating usually requires many actions and is a journey that can be stopped at many points.

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post #11 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 10:49 PM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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To answer to that, everyone has been designed to cheat, its just the social obligation and closed ones feel that leads to one level of infidelity, now as per you, if you are with your partner and some one so drop dead gorgeous passea nearby,, u wont turn ur head..... Its natural. Infidelity starts than and there

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No we have not been designed to cheat, but to be faithful. Its our weakness and selfishness that leads to cheating.
I am guessing that you are trying to justify cheating, you wont.
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post #12 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-08-2018, 01:48 AM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

It's more likely women were designed to look for the best human male possible for strong children. Whether he is committed or not to another does not matter.

It's more likely men compete with each other to attract women to spread their genes and also look for the best candidate to spread those genes. They will spread them with more than one healthy woman.

There is a difference between the primitive human and the modern human. Though, sometimes it's tough to tell. It is likely that the more wealthy a society gets, the more it wanders from long-term committed relationships and large families.

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post #13 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-08-2018, 01:59 AM
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To say that someone is gorgeous will make you turn your head and by implication cheat is reducing yourself and people to animals.

As a woman who is married, a drop dead gorgeous man does not make me want to get in bed with them. Also, I can see you think itís really not your fault if you cheat because oops why did that woman happen to be born so good looking?

Reading your post, I feel very blessed my husband doesnít share your opinion. Not because he wonít cheat on me, but because heís a man who doesnít to cheat to enjoy life.

Marriage is not a destination, it is a journey
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post #14 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-08-2018, 10:25 AM
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Re: How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship

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How to enjoy life without being guilty, openess in relationship
Many people enjoy life in traditional closed relationships. Many people don't want an open relationship. If they want an open relationship it's often best to figure that out before saying vows so they don't screw over someone else.
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post #15 of 107 (permalink) Old 01-09-2018, 07:07 AM
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@Diana7 said: "No we have not been designed to cheat, but to be faithful."

Wishful thinking most likely fueled by religious precepts.

Human beings are not monogamous by nature, if we were the concept of infidelity wouldn't exist in our dictionaries, period. Everything else is sheer rationalization to one's designs.

For your information most higher primates do cheat any time they are able to. People should educate themselves (in scientific matters), instead of living through, and making morally ideals conveyed through religious precepts as matter of fact truths. Which they are nothing but mankind's idealistic/socially evolutionary conveniences for social order throughout part of our history. That we were designed to be faithful: this is a ridiculous statement.
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