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post #1 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 03:58 PM Thread Starter
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Hello everyone, Thanks for having me.

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post #2 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 04:09 PM
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Re: Hi

Welcome!! If you have issues, feel free to post your story -- MANY folks here who can help (and you will get ALL sides for sure!)
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post #3 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 04:39 PM Thread Starter
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Welcome!! If you have issues, feel free to post your story -- MANY folks here who can help (and you will get ALL sides for sure!)
Thank you.

I do have issues. I've been here reading and trying to figure out what to do.

My wife left me and moved out. I even helped her move. Our family does not know yet.


She said she wants to separate and work on our marriage because she was not happy. Originally, she did not want to save our marriage, but I begged her to reconsider.

I picked up a book this weekend and read it. It is called "The Divorce Remedy." I am working on implementing the steps in the book to gain her affection. Currently, I am giving her space and just trying to act as everything is ok. I am trying to act happy and be how I used to be when we met. "Fake it til you make it."

I realize I may have made a mistake by crying, begging, and rationalizing with her for many weeks.
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post #4 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 04:44 PM
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Re: Hi

Check your cell phone bill.

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"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #5 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 04:47 PM Thread Starter
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Check your cell phone bill.

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post #6 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 04:54 PM
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Re: Hi

He was saying, see if she is talking to someone.

It is highly likely there are shenanigans afoot. That just seems to be how these stories usually go.
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post #7 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:05 PM
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To be clear, if SHE wanted to move out to "work on your marriage", it really makes no sense - she can't work on it if she isn't there..
GENERALLY when they want to move out, it means she wants to bang someone (or more than one) else. She may have already had her partner picked out and she is blaming the marriage stuff on YOU so that she can justify the affair.
Check your cell phone bill to see if she has any calls to/from a number you don't recoginize and texts to a number that seems way too high. This is just a first step to see if she is having an affair.
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post #8 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:25 PM
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Re: Hi

Do you have children. Where did she move too? Is she depressed? Why does she want to end the marriage?

How long had she been distant?

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #9 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:25 PM
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post #10 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:35 PM
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Re: Hi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickel Speed View Post
She said she wants to separate and work on our marriage because she was not happy.
HUGE red flag right here: She is not physically present in the home. She needed space. She's not "happy" (whatever the hell that means Ö). As a woman, I will give you my take on this. Your wife is likely cheating. If not, my guess is there is an emotional affair at the very least.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickel Speed View Post
Originally, she did not want to save our marriage, but I begged her to reconsider.

I am working on implementing the steps in the book to gain her affection. Currently, I am giving her space and just trying to act as everything is ok. I am trying to act happy Ö
You're not going to like what I have to say, but here it is: Women don't like weak men, needy men, begging men, men who play the "pick me! pick me!" game.

Ever heard of the 180? What you are doing is NOT the 180, but you need to implement it ASAP. Lots of guys on here who have done it can it explain it far better than me.

Time to stop with the hand wringing and wanting her back. Time to get REALLY mad at the crap she's pulling. Because, from where I sit, it is crap indeed.


I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
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post #11 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:39 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlg07 View Post
To be clear, if SHE wanted to move out to "work on your marriage", it really makes no sense - she can't work on it if she isn't there..
GENERALLY when they want to move out, it means she wants to bang someone (or more than one) else. She may have already had her partner picked out and she is blaming the marriage stuff on YOU so that she can justify the affair.
Check your cell phone bill to see if she has any calls to/from a number you don't recoginize and texts to a number that seems way too high. This is just a first step to see if she is having an affair.
This is not possible. Prepay phone has no bill.
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post #12 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:41 PM Thread Starter
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Do you have children. Where did she move too? Is she depressed? Why does she want to end the marriage?

How long had she been distant?
No children.
Nearby town.
She seems happier now.
2 months cold. 4 months grouchy.
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post #13 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:42 PM
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Re: Hi

If she wants to work on the marriage then she wouldn't have left.
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post #14 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:45 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickel Speed View Post
She said she wants to separate and work on our marriage because she was not happy.
HUGE red flag right here: She is not physically present in the home. She needed space. She's not "happy" (whatever the hell that means …). As a woman, I will give you my take on this. Your wife is likely cheating. If not, my guess is there is an emotional affair at the very least.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickel Speed View Post
Originally, she did not want to save our marriage, but I begged her to reconsider.

I am working on implementing the steps in the book to gain her affection. Currently, I am giving her space and just trying to act as everything is ok. I am trying to act happy …
You're not going to like what I have to say, but here it is: Women don't like weak men, needy men, begging men, men who play the "pick me! pick me!" game.

Ever heard of the 180? What you are doing is NOT the 180, but you need to implement it ASAP. Lots of guys on here who have done it can it explain it far better than me.

Time to stop with the hand wringing and wanting her back. Time to get REALLY mad at the crap she's pulling. Because, from where I sit, it is crap indeed.
This is reason I buy the book. 180 is in the book. I will act better now. No more begging from me
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post #15 of 619 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 05:46 PM
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Re: Hi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickel Speed View Post
No children.
Nearby town.
She seems happier now.
2 months cold. 4 months grouchy.
Happier because she can see her other guy without worrying about bumping onto you....

Do you have any idea what she is actually up to living apart from you?
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