Would you want to know? Caught my ex cheating on her fiancee with...
... the woman she cheated on me with (while she and I were dating).
Also, please forgive me if I'm in the correct forum or not.
I'm a woman and Kayla was my first same-sex experience in both getting physical with another woman and dating. I was struggling accept my sexuality, while she had identified as lesbian as early as she could remember. The same age as I, she seemed to have her stuff together, was a successful business professional, involved in philanthropic efforts and volunteered her time at various charities and programs- but there was something about her that gave me caution. I naively waved it off.
In the end (and what my intuition always knew), she had been using me the entire time. She never stopped talking to her ex Rebecca while she and I were dating. She'd dump me, officially get back together with her, then come back to me when they fought. In my gut, I knew something was up so I confronted her on it, but she denied it, told me their "window had passed," to stop being so sensitive because it was just platonic and this was how lesbian/bisexual relationships worked- women keep their exes around as friends. She had other exes as friends too, but I was naive and so new to this, I bought it.
Eventually, she revealed the truth to a friend who then told me (that she had been talking with Rebecca the entire time) and that things had got a little "handsy." Basically, she cheated. She also told this friend I was just "okay" and that Rebecca, a rich older woman who was still married to a man for financial reasons (apparently, they are very wealthy/have social status in LA) and had a large house in LA, was all she had ever wanted and dreamed of. I was runner-up, but "nice enough."
Weeks later, deeply depressed and nursing my wounds, I'd run into Kayla and Rebecca. I looked a mess, but Kayla was exuberant with Rebecca, holding her hand. They didn't see me, so I dragged myself back to the car and cried my eyes out alone. Still, I never said anything to Kayla. I did my best to move on. This was three years ago and it scarred me for a while, being my first lesbian experience.
1.5 years ago, Kayla came back out-of-the-blue. She text messaged me saying she wanted to meet and try to work things out this time. I never replied and never said what I knew and chose to leave it in the past. It had taken me so damn long to heal.
Then last month happened. I ran into a friend who said Kayla was getting married to an older woman. When she showed me her pic, it clearly wasn't Rebecca. It's a new woman and apparently they are getting married in June and living together.
Last holiday weekend, I went out of town to LA and to the movies with a friend. We're standing in the concession stand line when a familiar face walks in- it's Kayla and she's not alone, but it isn't her fiancee. It's Rebecca. Not too much of a surprise since LA is where Rebecca lives (Kayla lives about 2 hours away).
They seemingly appear to be friends, but when they near the restroom, they stop and kiss for a few seconds, then hold hands while walking off. I felt my body go numb, then cold. My jaw dropped. She's still cheating and she's doing it to someone else. I never saw them again at the theater or in the shopping center it's located in.
I'm at a cross-roads as to what to do, if anything. Because I never told Kayla I knew about Rebecca (since it was all found out after the fact), it feels like I'm reliving it again... but mainly, she's doing it to someone else and with the same damn woman, no less. Unlike me, she's set to marry the woman she's cheating on! Even after these past few years, Kayla hasn't changed at all.
But what, if anything, do I do? Do I say something to her fiancee, who I don't even know and would have to find out info through my friend? Would she even believe me?
And I'm clouded by feelings of resentment. Am I doing this out of revenge, because she hurt me so much? Possibly. Then again, I'd want to know if someone is cheating on me before I married them.
I'm not sure what the right thing to do is or how to proceed. What would you do?
Last edited by cali_chick; 12-07-2019 at 03:43 PM.