An excerpt from the book... about having "the talk":
"You want sex. It’s important to you. She obviously doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe this is the natural state for a wife/mom to be in, and you just need to remind her that couples are supposed to have sex. Maybe she doesn’t understand just HOW important this is to you. Maybe if you sit her down and nicely explain how hurt you are by this lack of intimacy, she will suddenly comply and start her sexual engine up again for you. Ultimately, physical intimacy is a choice, right?
So, you tell her how you feel. She listens. She gets a little emotional as you pour your guts out. She seems surprised that you were so hurt by this. She says you have sex at least once every couple of weeks… isn’t that enough? You explain to her that you started keeping track of sex and it’s been two months since your last session. Before that, there was a three-month break. She seems puzzled by this. “Are you sure it’s been that long?”
Obviously, this sexual drought doesn’t have the same impact on her. You feel a glimmer of hope, though. You can see that this is starting to sink in a bit. You are getting somewhere. You press on.
You explain that you are bothered by her apparent lack of desire for you. Nothing you do ever turns her on. You’re turned on by HER, but she can’t seem to be able to muster up the energy to reciprocate. “Is it that you just don’t love me anymore?”
She starts crying and explaining.
She’s under stress, she says. The house. The kids. Work. It’s all too much. It’s not you, it’s her. “Just be patient and understanding with me. Ok?”
You hold her. You tell her you’re sorry. You’ll help more around the house. You’ll get the kids three days a week after school instead of two. You’ll be there more for her, emotionally. You’ve not been the best partner. You can do better.
She appreciates your help and thanks you for being such a great husband and friend. You kiss. You hug a while. More crying. She gets up to make dinner. You run off to play with the kids.
Later that night you go to bed and see her already asleep under the covers. You give her a kiss and go to the basement and jerk off to porn. Again.
Still, you do feel a lot better about your situation. Communication is important. It feels good to get all that off your chest. You finally feel like you may be moving in the right direction.
Another month will go by. No sex. You will have the talk again.
Subsequent conversations won’t be so sweet. She’ll become more frustrated with you. The emotional façade goes away and is replaced with anger and annoyance.
At times, she seems almost repulsed by your touch. Even the most innocent of back rubs and kisses make her stiffen up.
It feels like you are roommates, or worse… siblings.
More talking. More emotional vomiting. The cycle continues.
The talk doesn’t work.
The talk just reaffirms what she already knows deep down:
You are not the kind of guy she wants to ****." Download The Dead Bedroom Fix