How long did the past obsessions last?
The being a dog thing lasted a couple years. The dino thing too. There was some overlap.
180, is she in therapy? If so, have you discussed this with her therapist of ways to deal with this?
If not, maybe she should be...
Yes, unfortunately. I found out too late that therapists are nearly 100% brain washed to support transition no matter what. I found out that her therapist is in fact supporting this and am trying to end the contact. However, the therapist sees her at her school in between classes and the school says I can't interfere. As a last resort I'm cancelling the health insurance for this child so that perhaps the therapist will stop when she stops getting paid.
Was there something specific that triggered her wanting to be a boy?
A friend of her's decided that she was trans. It is called "clustering." Up until then her favorite color was pink. She dressed up as a princess one Halloween and a 50's Poodle Skirt girl the next. She was a very typical pre-teen girl.
One thing though, she has always been overly concerned about getting older. Every year on her birthday she gets distraught over being older. As she got taller, almost 5'9" she was mistaken for being older and that REALLY bothered her. Then with puberty, well you can imagine, not many girls are happy about starting to bleed. She was probably the least happy "little" girl ever.
Interesting. Makes sense. Thanks for that.
You know your own child so you are right to not just assume she is actually trans. Though is there really any harm in allowing her (without shame) to dress and present herself as a boy? Kids and people do change their minds about these things and do not always complete the trans trajectory, so it may just be temporary. How high is her functioning in general? Has she ever had a date/boyfriend?
I worry that if I don't push back on this, the encouragement of others will be persuasive. I did succeed in talking her out being a dog or dinosaur so I do have a good track record, lol.
No, she has never dated a boy or a girl. She and her friends used to talk about boys as "hot" or not but that was back before she decided to be a boy.
This is rare, but I have known young folks who so did not want to be like their same sex parent, that they sought other options. Animals, fantasy people, opposite sex, etc.
Hi Sunset - yes, of course you know the whole backstory. Of course she wants to be nothing like her mother, for backstory reasons. Her mother is super feminine. She presents as the traditional hot California blond. With very frequent trips to the gym, the salon and the dermatologist to keep it up.
She, the daughter, was always more like me in her personality. Quiet, reserved, contemplative. Her mother is very boisterous and loud. So even though daughter looks a LOT more like her mother, her personality made her more attached to me. Even before the events of the backstory.
All kids want to be a member of the opposite sex for one reason or another at some ages/times and then they align with comfort with who they are. Some are confused mentally and some not. Does she talk openly with you? Does she like the advantages she sees accorded to the opposite sex. Does she think she is a female trapped in a male's body?
Those are words she uses (male trapped in female body). I doubt that it is more than parroting what she has heard.