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post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:14 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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I could read before my fifth birthday and was terminally bored when I went to kindergarten a year early.

My parents decided to hold me back to the class I should have been with because of my "social development". Turns out I am just an introvert and the way I interact wasn't going to change.

As a further joke on them, I looked 12 when I got my driver's license and was only 5 foot 5 and 112 pounds my senior year of high school so not advancing me didn't really help at all.

School sucked until college so getting through it a year faster would have been nice.

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post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:19 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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Thank you for this. Today, my dream is for him to graduate HS at 15, emancipate his ass ASAP, and kick him out.

It's been one of those days.
My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s.

The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?
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post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:39 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

I skipped a grade.

The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.

I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.
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post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s.

The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?
The not-smiley-face was a joke, as was emancipation. He and his little brother have been the Avatars of Chaos and Anarchy today.

My nephews went to private schools. They did well, good scholarships to good schools. Still, expensive, and I am not convinced that they wouldn't have done as well in the public school districts that they were in.

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post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s.

The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?
Boarding school is a no. We have an excellent military school nearby; I remember track and cross-country meets where we boys had to circle the wagons around our female athletes, because of the sheer level of wolf-eyed thirst.

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” Dorothy Parker

Last edited by AandM; 01-19-2020 at 09:01 PM. Reason: Need a new keyboard; H's and O's don't work. Yeah,yeah, the Oh's ha-ha
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post #21 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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I skipped a grade.

The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.

I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.
Yeah, the physical thing is our worry. Being a little boy when everyone else is hitting puberty is brutal. The rules have changed, everything has become social jockeying, but the little one is physically hobbled from really understanding why.

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” Dorothy Parker
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post #22 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:07 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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Yeah, the physical thing is our worry. Being a little boy when everyone else is hitting puberty is brutal. The rules have changed, everything has become social jockeying, but the little one is physically hobbled from really understanding why.
I was bullied hard.

My solution was to become a bully to my bullies.

Neither solution was positive.
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post #23 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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I skipped a grade.

The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.

I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.
That's our thing with him. We often travel locally, with history and problem-solving opportunities on the trips; camping, putting extra responsibility on him to pick a location to camp, help set up camp, firewood, etc.

We worry about the physical development thing. People often don't realize how social misery can affect academic performance.

Still, every time we meet with the school, they push grade advancement, above and beyond what they are doing.

The academic pull-outs for reading and math, in addition to gifted class, are unique to the school. I suspect it would be easier and cheaper for them to jerk him up a grade or two.

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” Dorothy Parker
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post #24 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:17 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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That's our thing with him. We often travel locally, with history and problem-solving opportunities on the trips; camping, putting extra responsibility on him to pick a location to camp, help set up camp, firewood, etc.

We worry about the physical development thing. People often don't realize how social misery can affect academic performance.

Still, every time we meet with the school, they push grade advancement, above and beyond what they are doing.

The academic pull-outs for reading and math, in addition to gifted class, are unique to the school. I suspect it would be easier and cheaper for them to jerk him up a grade or two.
Do you have a university or college nearby?

Explore opportunities to get your child actively engaged in academia as an after school thing.

Is your child acting out in class?
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post #25 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:30 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

No. Let him be the smart kid who has confidence and helps others. I resisted the skip grades pressure twice - now at 24 he makes 145k Midwest $ and is on upper mngmt fast track. IMHO the emotional/maturity health is much more important. Lots of smart kids/people in the world. The ones that handle it are the happiest/most successful.

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post #26 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 09:49 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

Personally... no, I wouldn't move my kid.

However - do you feel the current school is adequately meeting his needs? The pressure they are putting on you makes me feel like they are not able to handle this situation.

If their gifted program is not enough for him, I would look into any other opportunities nearby for him. There are schools where I live for the exceptionally gifted. Students must test into them, and scholarships and need-based financial aid is offered. (There is still tuition involved though, which can be a change from free public school.)

I know he's only in K, but how does HE seem to feel about school right now? Is he having problems socially due to his giftedness? Is he bored out of his mind?

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post #27 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 10:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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Do you have a university or college nearby?

Explore opportunities to get your child actively engaged in academia as an after school thing.

Is your child acting out in class?
Act out? Not really, but he is in Kindergarten. That's the thing; based on testing at the beginning of the year, the school wanted to bump him into first. We declined, and worked with the school so that he stays with his class, but gets pulled out every day for reading, spelling and math with a second-grade class. Twice a week, he gets pulled out for inclusion in the 2nd-grade gifted class. 2nd is the earliest that gifted starts at. He is doing well, and is socially equal with the older kids. Apparently, he is pretty popular.

Last Friday, we had an assessment meeting with his teacher, admin and advisors, and now they were pushing for skipping to second, instead of first. Again, we opined that, should we advance him, he would do well until middle-school, when the hormone bombs went off on the older students, and most of them became anti-social little ****s.

Yes, we have numerous colleges and universities nearby. A family friend is dean of one school at a local SEC-U, and my sister is an adjunct at another school. That isn't an issue. Again, he's 6. My problem is that this fight has already started, and keeps going. Also, we're unsure that we are making the right decision.

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post #28 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 10:11 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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I know, it's tough being Doogie Howser!
Looking younger than my age sucked a lot in middle and high school but it is nice to overhear someone ask my 8th grader if I am her older brother or her dad.

I'm still short so it didn't come up all roses but there have been compensations.

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post #29 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-20-2020, 10:32 AM
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Re: Grade skipping

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Act out? Not really, but he is in Kindergarten. That's the thing; based on testing at the beginning of the year, the school wanted to bump him into first. We declined, and worked with the school so that he stays with his class, but gets pulled out every day for reading, spelling and math with a second-grade class. Twice a week, he gets pulled out for inclusion in the 2nd-grade gifted class. 2nd is the earliest that gifted starts at. He is doing well, and is socially equal with the older kids. Apparently, he is pretty popular.

Last Friday, we had an assessment meeting with his teacher, admin and advisors, and now they were pushing for skipping to second, instead of first. Again, we opined that, should we advance him, he would do well until middle-school, when the hormone bombs went off on the older students, and most of them became anti-social little ****s.

Yes, we have numerous colleges and universities nearby. A family friend is dean of one school at a local SEC-U, and my sister is an adjunct at another school. That isn't an issue. Again, he's 6. My problem is that this fight has already started, and keeps going. Also, we're unsure that we are making the right decision.
My advice would be a firm no and a request to stop bringing it up. He’s in kindergarten. It’s more about socialization at that stage than academics.

That’s wild.
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post #30 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-20-2020, 10:48 AM
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Re: Grade skipping

My brother and I both skipped one grade and were in enrichment classes for middle school. It was many years ago when it was a little more common so we had a handful of other kids who also skipped that went through all the grades with us till high school. I think that was helpful socially as we never felt like we were younger than everyone else.

It is very unusual to skip kids in our area these days and there are very limited enrichment classes. My youngest daughter was gifted and I opted out of putting her in the enrichment class as it seemed to have mostly kids that were excelling in school but socially awkward. We discussed it and decided she could enrich herself. She had many friends, excelled in school and sports. By the end of high school she developed an eating disorder which I think was a product of her pushing herself too hard. It was used as a coping mechanism to deal with all the demands of high school- socially, academically and athletically. It can be overwhelming for anyone at that age. She recovered and is working on a research based Masters Program now.

If I was to do it over again I would have been more mindful of her internal struggles and emotions. I know she tried to talk about things with me but I always tried to solve the problem rather than just listen to her and let her feel validated. I was busy working, looking after 3 kids blah blah blah. I think gifted children and adults can be more sensitive and internalize their struggles which can lead to mental health issues.

My advice- perhaps skip him 1 grade, get him in enrichment classes where available- if they are not only for bright awkward kids, make sure he is well rounded with other interests- art, sports, music whatever is his thing as it will give him alternate peer groups and identities - a life saver in school, and most importantly listen to him and listen to him often. Try and hear what he is saying and isnt saying. Put any ego aside and let him determine his own path as he gets old enough. Even if its not academic, even if its not what you would pick.

Good luck. Parenting and childhood is filled with joy and heartache for everyone no matter their IQ
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