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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 10:15 PM Thread Starter
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Grade skipping

School would like to skip our K student son at least one grade (parent-teacher-gifted teacher) conference last night suggested 2nd grade, at the initial meeting it was 1st grade, so it keeps getting worst.) and we have already told them no. Our problem with this is that, in middle school, when all the hormone bombs go off, he will still be a little boy.

The program that we authorized after testing him allows him to be pulled out into 2nd grade for reading, writing and math; and into the 2nd grade gifted class. Socially, he does very well with the older kids (he is a bit of stage-hog, I have no idea where he gets it from). He is not a shy kid, and is pretty athletic. However, we are concerned about socio-sexual dynamics in the future should we allow him to be advanced.

What has been the long-term results of advancing your son a grade or so?

Has anyone here had a son that allowed their son to skip a year or three, and how did it go, through all the stages?

On the other hand, if he graduates early we can forcibly emancipate his unruly ass and kick him out early.

Decisions, decisions.


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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 10:56 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.

Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes.

I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.
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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 11:15 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

If he's that much more gifted than them, his peers will probably pick up on that and it will take some deft social engineering to navigate the cliquish middle school being "different". Being a year younger isn't going to make it any better or worse, I don't think.
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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 11:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.

Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes.

I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.
I kinda do. It's the middle school hump we're worried about. For a lot of boys (with a late birthday), they are 13, every other boy has hit puberty and the testosterone is accelerating them into manhood, and those boys are madly jockeying for place. Meanwhile, there are a few boys who develop later, who get left behind. They still want to play Adventure or War, while the other boys are playing sports that will get them status, both socially and with girls (which the boys not hitting puberty won't "get").

Bullying and social pariah-hood can be detrimental academically.

Even the educators who recommend him skipping mention home-schooling through middle school.

My wife and I were both recommended to skip (and her, Adderrall), but our parents refused. We did Ok.

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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 01:06 AM
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Re: Grade skipping

You definitely don't want to homeschool or are you considering it? If you have questions about it, you can tag me. I homeschooled my 3 children for about 20 years.

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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 01:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

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You definitely don't want to homeschool or are you considering it? If you have questions about it, you can tag me. I homeschooled my 3 children for about 20 years.

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If at all, it would be through the middle-school years (6-7-8). In this situation, though, it would be where the student is starting age 10 in 6th.

Keep in mind we have an adequate program (pull-out into higher grades/gifted) that keeps him socially based with his age group. It is the public school system that keeps pressuring us to bump him up.

If we DID advance him a grade or two, we would only home-school if we DID allow him to go from K to 2, in middle school. Come 9th grade, we would likely send him back to public school.

I'm asking if anyone has skipped their son a grade or three. and how did it go.

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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 02:07 AM
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Re: Grade skipping

Its a very tricky question. Skipping a grade in some ways grants an extra year of life- it lets someone advance their life, their career etc by a year. OTOH it can be academically and socially stressful.

Not advancing can lead to boredom. Advancing can lead to difficulties dealing with other students.

My inclination would be to advance a student who was academically ready and whos social skills were fairly good, but probably not one whos social skills were terrible.

OTOH, I was not advanced, but had a miserably time in high school anyway. It would have been great to have escaped that a year earlier, so wish I had advanced.
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 11:26 AM
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Re: Grade skipping

My friend skipped her daughter ahead by sending her to private kindergarten early. The middle school years were tough. Her daughter, who is immature for her age anyway, seemed way behind the other girls. In an effort to keep up and be cool she started using lies and manipulation to try to keep up. As you can imagine her friends did not appreciate it and she lost all her friends at one point.
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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 12:19 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

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Originally Posted by NextTimeAround View Post
If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.

Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes.

I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.
I meant 19 year old....
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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 12:52 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

I would be wary of skipping him. In my area, many boys are being held back by their parents voluntarily if they have Spring or Summer birthdays. My son who was born in May was youngest boy in his class all the way through Grade 8, even though he was in his correct grade and not skipped. He is also on the shorter side and he struggled socially in 5th-6th grade. It was hard to keep up in sports and he had not yet developed an interest in girls. Things evened out by 8th grade but I can't imagine how he would have struggled if we had ever skipped him.

What about doing some enrichment programs outside of school?

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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:18 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

I could read before my fifth birthday and was terminally bored when I went to kindergarten a year early.

My parents decided to hold me back to the class I should have been with because of my "social development". Turns out I am just an introvert and the way I interact wasn't going to change.

As a further joke on them, I looked 12 when I got my driver's license and was only 5 foot 5 and 112 pounds my senior year of high school so not advancing me didn't really help at all.

School sucked until college so getting through it a year faster would have been nice.

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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:53 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

Moved my son up when he was acting unruly because he was bored. He was doing basic algebra when he was 8. So, we moved him up and he was fine.

Edit.

Sorry forgot to add the stages.

Middle school was fine.
High school was fine.
He moved out when he was a 18 and is employed while going to community college.
My sister was fine graduated at 16 and has a Masters Degree.


I was fine, but moved out and became unruly.

Last edited by phillybeffandswiss; 01-19-2020 at 04:14 PM.
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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 04:09 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

.

When someone says it’s not the money it’s the principle,it’s always the money.

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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 06:05 PM
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Re: Grade skipping

Quote:
Originally Posted by AandM View Post
If at all, it would be through the middle-school years (6-7-8). In this situation, though, it would be where the student is starting age 10 in 6th.

Keep in mind we have an adequate program (pull-out into higher grades/gifted) that keeps him socially based with his age group. It is the public school system that keeps pressuring us to bump him up.

If we DID advance him a grade or two, we would only home-school if we DID allow him to go from K to 2, in middle school. Come 9th grade, we would likely send him back to public school.

I'm asking if anyone has skipped their son a grade or three. and how did it go.
The reason I'm asking about homeschooling is that is gives so much flexibility. The child can go at his own pace to either advance or slow down academically, but it doesn't impact their social life negatively. There are large homeschool communities where kids are active and involved socially. It's quite different from public school in that kids are not separated into grades, which makes it easier for them to connect on their interests and maturity level. Homeschooling would solve the problem of advancing him into a grade where he was much less mature than his peers. He wouldn't be help back academically or socially.


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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 07:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Grade skipping

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
Moved my son up when he was acting unruly because he was bored. He was doing basic algebra when he was 8. So, we moved him up and he was fine.

Edit.

Sorry forgot to add the stages.

Middle school was fine.
High school was fine.
He moved out when he was a 18 and is employed while going to community college.
My sister was fine graduated at 16 and has a Masters Degree.


I was fine, but moved out and became unruly.
Thank you for this. Today, my dream is for him to graduate HS at 15, emancipate his ass ASAP, and kick him out.

It's been one of those days.

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” Dorothy Parker
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