Mine mine - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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  • 9 Post By ConanHub
  • 2 Post By 3Xnocharm
  • 5 Post By EleGirl
  • 2 Post By Spicy
  • 3 Post By FalCod
  • 2 Post By Rowan
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-22-2019, 04:15 PM Thread Starter
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Mine mine

I'm use to his year-round Grinch attitude, even the kids were while growing up but this is nuts!
I'm recovering from surgery. Number 8. He's had a neck fusion, I have had two. We exist on little money and he controls it to the penny.
The RV we live in is about to be repossessed. My son purchased another for us to live in. Found numerous problems. Water heater busted, rotted ceiling, shower issues, roof needs sealing.
I put advertising in to clean houses and did one by myself, he won't help. Refuses. I have $100 to go towards $2000 worth of repairs needed. Whoohoo! I'm trying.
I began a GOFUNDME page for help. I needed video and pix, he refused to help. I did it alone.
He refuses to do anything with me! But, let someone else ask for help and he's all over it!
I don't understand. We're about to be living in our car!!!
What am I doing wrong!!!!????

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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-22-2019, 04:53 PM
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Re: Mine mine

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Originally Posted by Vigi View Post
I'm use to his year-round Grinch attitude, even the kids were while growing up but this is nuts!
I'm recovering from surgery. Number 8. He's had a neck fusion, I have had two. We exist on little money and he controls it to the penny.
The RV we live in is about to be repossessed. My son purchased another for us to live in. Found numerous problems. Water heater busted, rotted ceiling, shower issues, roof needs sealing.
I put advertising in to clean houses and did one by myself, he won't help. Refuses. I have $100 to go towards $2000 worth of repairs needed. Whoohoo! I'm trying.
I began a GOFUNDME page for help. I needed video and pix, he refused to help. I did it alone.
He refuses to do anything with me! But, let someone else ask for help and he's all over it!
I don't understand. We're about to be living in our car!!!
What am I doing wrong!!!!????
Not divorcing him.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-22-2019, 07:49 PM Thread Starter
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-23-2019, 11:38 AM
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Re: Mine mine

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Ok ty
You are being treated terribly. I think the healthiest thing to do would be to get away from the guy tormenting you.

At least a separation.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-25-2019, 03:01 PM
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Re: Mine mine

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What am I doing wrong!!!!????
You are staying married to him and allowing abuse and blatant disrespect.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-29-2019, 01:54 PM Thread Starter
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I am living in a situation where my son would be financially responsible for my rent, food, transportation...if I choose to kick husband to the curb. I can't do that to my son. I'm not physically able to work. Disability benefits would take years. You see...I'm stuck. That's why husband loves having all this control....he knows if I had another way he would be gone.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 04:24 AM
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Re: Mine mine

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigi View Post
I am living in a situation where my son would be financially responsible for my rent, food, transportation...if I choose to kick husband to the curb. I can't do that to my son. I'm not physically able to work. Disability benefits would take years. You see...I'm stuck. That's why husband loves having all this control....he knows if I had another way he would be gone.
Have you tried to get welfare? Are you getting EBT for food?

While it might take a some time to get disability, the sooner you started the process, the sooner you will get it if you qualify.

Are you saying that the trailer that your son is getting for you needs $2,000 of work done on it?

How old are you and your husband?

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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 10:26 AM
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Re: Mine mine

Apply for disability and welfare TODAY.

Does your son understand the situation? What would HE want you to do? If you haven’t told him how bad it all is and asked his advice, at least give him the choice.

Personally, if my mom was in this destitute, abusive situation & I was healthy and able, I would get her out of it.

Ciao,

Spicy
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 11:31 AM
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Re: Mine mine

I'm confused. You said, "I put advertising in to clean houses and did one by myself, he won't help." Then you said, "I'm not physically able to work." There are a lot of jobs that require less physical effort than cleaning houses.

My thoughts are:
1) You should ditch your boat anchor. Why would you stay with a husband that doesn't try to help you when you are fighting to just keep a roof over your head.
2) You should try hard to find a job that fits within your physical capabilities.
3) Once you get it, you should live as lean as possible so that you can go back to school and get the skills to improve your income.

It's going to be a decade long journey, but you can do it if you keep at it.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you. I had a cleaning business but physically impossible alone. I'm going to put in applications these next few weeks. I live in the country. Not many choices but I'm desperate.
I have a second business with jewelry and art but it's so hard to get it off the ground. Beautiful work too. I'm a traditional artist/painter who learned to make costume jewelry for Dillards, etc. I have a several thousand dollars in inventory on jewelry, and around thousand on art. I worked job, plus my cleaning business, then made jewelry on down time for almost two years! Worked my bootay off! Now, I have no place to sell.
I need a marketing manager but the wants thousands plus a cut in profits. I need a place to sell!!!
I have a lot of talent....believe me!

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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 06:43 PM
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Re: Mine mine

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigi View Post
Thank you. I had a cleaning business but physically impossible alone. I'm going to put in applications these next few weeks. I live in the country. Not many choices but I'm desperate.
I have a second business with jewelry and art but it's so hard to get it off the ground. Beautiful work too. I'm a traditional artist/painter who learned to make costume jewelry for Dillards, etc. I have a several thousand dollars in inventory on jewelry, and around thousand on art. I worked job, plus my cleaning business, then made jewelry on down time for almost two years! Worked my bootay off! Now, I have no place to sell.
I need a marketing manager but the wants thousands plus a cut in profits. I need a place to sell!!!
I have a lot of talent....believe me!
Is there a Small Business Administration office in your area? If not they are online too. They might have people who can help you put together a viable business that makes/sells jewelry.

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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-02-2019, 02:10 PM
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Re: Mine mine

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigi View Post
Thank you. I had a cleaning business but physically impossible alone. I'm going to put in applications these next few weeks. I live in the country. Not many choices but I'm desperate.
I have a second business with jewelry and art but it's so hard to get it off the ground. Beautiful work too. I'm a traditional artist/painter who learned to make costume jewelry for Dillards, etc. I have a several thousand dollars in inventory on jewelry, and around thousand on art. I worked job, plus my cleaning business, then made jewelry on down time for almost two years! Worked my bootay off! Now, I have no place to sell.
I need a marketing manager but the wants thousands plus a cut in profits. I need a place to sell!!!

I have a lot of talent....believe me!

Have you tried Etsy?

You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2019, 03:41 PM
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Re: Mine mine

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Originally Posted by Vigi View Post
I am living in a situation where my son would be financially responsible for my rent, food, transportation...if I choose to kick husband to the curb. I can't do that to my son. I'm not physically able to work. Disability benefits would take years. You see...I'm stuck. That's why husband loves having all this control....he knows if I had another way he would be gone.
I am a son.

What do you think I would want to do if my Mum were in such a situation? And how would I feel if I found out only years later?
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2019, 05:57 PM Thread Starter
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My son just started a business and money is so tight for him.
I'm disabled but payments would be years away.
Yes. Trying Etsy this month!
I try not to involve my family in my personal business, but he tells everyone everything. He's narcissistic. People are so oblivious.
Three months since (8th) surgery but I'm having to start cleaning homes again bc we need repairs on trailer. I can't catch a break!
Seriously. Not joking. 2019:
Jan- pneumonia
March-pulminary embolism in lung
August-gallbladder removal
Sept-kidney stones
And that was only this year!!!
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2019, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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Mr. Other. You are so sweet! My son dropped everything when I got sick this year. He's been amazing. He just started a business and already helps me as much as he can.
If I could rewind...it would be 10 years ago and I'd be away from this man!
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