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post #136 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 11:52 AM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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If he had to go back to university to get a degree to get his dream job, then he is probably a high school teacher, or some similar professional career.

The average high school teacher salary is $56,310 per year.
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Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
I would agree with this if their combined income was under $50K per year.
In my area, $56k a year will afford a family of 3-4 healthcare, a roof over their heads, utilities, food, and a modest vehicle or two. No savings, no retirement, no kids college funds, no vacations, resale shop clothes. Move a few states south and $56k a year allows a better standard of living. Move a few states east or west and $56k a year is barely enough to survive.

Depending on where they live and their monthly expenses, should she be unable to work, they could be in serious trouble on that income alone.

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But I doubt that she loved him at all.

She loved his salary, his position at work. The fact that he was king of the business castle and lord and master of all he surveyed.

Now that he is "only" -in my hypothetical example- a teacher and maybe helping a child with a learning disability to read better, she doesn't love him.

It's possible that she is a very, very shallow person.
Other than realistic financial worries should something go wrong, the truth is something about men who are in senior level positions or other positions of power and authority carry themselves. It's confidence and self-assuredness and charisma, but more. Something in the way they walk, move, dress, speak, etc. etc. It's the vibe they give off.

If his experiences going back to college and taking his new position changed him from the man described above into something else, he literally became "not her type" with the financial insecurity and social stigma as secondary reasons for her lack of attraction to him.

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I think some of the men are feeling threatened by this gal. Maybe they wonder if their wives, in the same situation, might feel the same?

Not sure why some women are so hard on her.
I think the flack comes from people concentrating more on the money and less on the differences in way of being that I described above to MattMatt.



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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
See @MJJEAN , that is the type of response I expected from that MEME
You're only saying that because you have no idea how seriously I take shoes.


Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.

Last edited by MJJEAN; 12-06-2016 at 12:02 PM.
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post #137 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 11:53 AM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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This woman wants to be a mother. She is also responsible for 90% of their living expenses without the added expense of a child or two. If she became pregnant and any number of common things went wrong, rendering her unable to work even temporarily, she knows she can't rely on her H to support the family.

In the US we don't have the social programs or legal protections available elsewhere. If she cannot work for a period of time due to pregnancy or delivery complications, her employer can replace her. Good luck trying to find another position once that gets out.

If they lose their healthcare due to loss of employment and cannot afford monthly payments to healthcare through COBRA (ridiculously expensive), medical expenses could become crippling debt very quickly.

We don't know their financial situation other than he no longer has savings, but it's not unreasonable to think they have expenses commiserate with their current earnings. Car payments, mortgage, credit cards. If that is so, they'd have to "downsize". Which is fine, but could be a HUGE hit to their credit scores depending on the details and could take many years to recover from.

I don't think she's being materialistic at all. She's being realistic.
Here I am sitting in the forest on a stump.

The leaves are still colorful, and they rain down like fallen stars.

That sentiment has been trashed. @MJJEAN has popped my bubble.

I am no longer sitting on the stump, I am standing on it.

She of all people should know about love. A love that transcends [made-from, green-back] cabbage patch dolls living in a sterile mansion.

When I hold a women...a women that I love....I hold flesh and blood, not inked paper. I cannot make love to money, stick my peter in a gold bar in the shape of a women. Apparently, mjjean has now matured into that practical, cold women that we read about.

Does she now look at men as providers ONLY. Does she now, "only" look at the bulge in a man's wallet pocket and not see his wide shoulders, his narrow hips, his kissable lips. After sweeping over his form with her eyes, does she not see the faint bulge outside his jeans? Has she matured beyond being a passionate women. Matured beyond that of a women, a women that still feels that itch between her own thighs? When she looks into her SO's eyes, does she see/feel lust? Or does she dollar signs? And lusts after that.

The husband is a provider. He does work. If she loses her job or gets sick.....He will take care of her.....in sickness and in health.

Her?

She is ready to jettison him because he prioritized his happiness. A happiness that included her.

I am a Hopeless Romantic. May I die as one.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out. The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall.
The Host, Rd is ill, any years left, remain now, in doubt? Red Dog is now lost to us.

Last edited by SunCMars; 12-06-2016 at 11:57 AM.
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post #138 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 11:58 AM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

Love does not pay the bills, my friend. And people like MJJean, and other women here, know about bills.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #139 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:00 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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I am a Hopeless Romantic. May I die as one.
For a woman nothing kills romance faster than having to tell her child they cannot afford new clothes or a pair of shoes or Christmas or college because Daddy is working his dream job.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #140 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:02 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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For a woman nothing kills romance faster than having to tell her child they cannot afford new clothes or a pair of shoes or Christmas or college because Daddy is working his dream job.
No kidding. Very selfish of him.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #141 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:04 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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She needs to be with at least her equal, Ellis.
So that she can fume about his success and the glass ceiling...

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post #142 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:05 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

I worked for a woman once who married back in the early 60s. Her husband was an accountant, and they had 5 children.

One day he announced he was giving up accounting to manage a bar. She had to scramble to find a job.

Absolutely lovely woman. Just wonderful in every respect. I can only imagine the resentment she felt. She rarely talked about it, but it was clearly in her heart.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #143 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:05 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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So that she can fume about his success and the glass ceiling...

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She shattered the one in hers. I doubt she would worry about any in his.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #144 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:12 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

I think she articulates what a lot of women struggle with in today's world. On the one hand, women are told that they are equal to men in the workplace and should pursue their career and financial goals. But, cultural change doesn't happen by simply turning a switch off in your mind. In subtle and not so subtle ways, women get the message that they should look for a man to take care of them. Men get the message that they should look for a woman who is nurturing and sexually attractive. It's going to take another generation for these mindsets to completely change, if ever.
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post #145 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:14 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less



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post #146 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:15 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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I think she articulates what a lot of women struggle with in today's world. On the one hand, women are told that they are equal to men in the workplace and should pursue their career and financial goals. But, cultural change doesn't happen by simply turning a switch off in your mind. In subtle and not so subtle ways, women get the message that they should look for a man to take care of them. Men get the message that they should look for a woman who is nurturing and sexually attractive. It's going to take another generation for these mindsets to completely change, if ever.
I don't think the message is external. I think it comes from inside the woman.

Not all women hear it, for example. They are happy to be the providers in their families.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #147 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:16 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

Oh please. J2 always complains about the glass ceiling where she works, regardless of where. Her job always sucks, she's the furriner, blah blah. Meanwhile all I do is ogle interns, eat donuts, and play with stuff.

Unless you're Mary Barra or Ginni Rometi or similar, you'll always have the glass ceiling in your back pocket.

My theory is that many women think of work as a hobby, not as something they do to support their family...

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post #148 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:16 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less



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post #149 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:17 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

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Oh please. J2 always complains about the glass ceiling where she works, regardless of where. Her job always sucks, she's the furriner, blah blah. Meanwhile all I do is ogle interns, eat donuts, and play with stuff.

Unless you're Mary Barra or Ginni Rometi or similar, you'll always have the glass ceiling in your back pocket.

My theory is that many women think of work as a hobby, not as something they do to support their family...

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That's no theory it is a fact.
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post #150 of 728 (permalink) Old 12-06-2016, 12:19 PM
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Re: No respect for husband that earns less

I rest my case.

I swung...hard........ whiffed. The cold air has stiffened my swing.

No where did it say that he was making minimum wages. And no where did it say that he was "unwilling"or "incapable" of re-committing to a higher paying job. Right now? Ain't necessary.

I suspect if/when the proverbial sh!t hit the fan, this man would "again" step up. That time has not arrived.

She is willing to dump him on "What If's".....WHAT IF's.

She is a shallow shrew. She should just evaporate...do him a favor.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out. The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall.
The Host, Rd is ill, any years left, remain now, in doubt? Red Dog is now lost to us.
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