Re: Can men tell me what happened here?
Aha! So now it's clear! You can figure out how old he really is if you find his CV online, based on his college graduation year. If he's so famous in his field, it means he is established, which, in turn, means he's no spring chicken.
Yes, consider this a lesson learned. Men who are strangers, their words don't mean much until they prove it with action and the time put in. You have to watch for both: words and actions and it all have to be genuine. Be weary of men who lay it on thick immediately.
Regarding the "rule" about the first sexual encounter with a partner, you don't tell men you have x rule or y rule. You just show. I never told men I have any kind of rule, but my demeanor was telling them whatever I had to say. With men, early on, the less said the better. You don't say "I only have sex in serious relationships" and then invite them to your house or go to theirs. I made this mistake in my early dating days and I was shocked that the guy jumped me and then got butthurt when I wasn't down for it. I didn't know. Always keep dates public.
It's also better to not go into too much personal "deep feelings" talk until later on. After you meet someone 3-4 times it's still too early for that kind of stuff. If a guy comes with that early, he either has some issues, so let him go, or he's trying to speed up the emotional connection beyond what's appropriate, so he can get to the connection below the belt faster.
You have to be careful, but yes, there are good men out there and it is true you just need one. When you find him, it'll all be worth it! I hated dating with my whole being, but it was really worth it and I'd do it again if I had to start over.
I hope you find love really soon!