Pre Nups - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

 171Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 01:19 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 7,259
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by zookeeper View Post
So is your assertion that everything you thought you knew about your first husband when you married was completely accurate? Nothing changed?
When we married I was 19 and he 23. At that age you do change more, but when I married my second husband we were both in our late 40's, so far more mature and far more aware of what we wanted in a marriage and partner. I had far far higher criteria for a husband by then, firstly he had to be a strong Christian,be totally honest, have strong moral values, and great integrity. I hit the jackpot.

Diana7 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 02:13 PM
Member
 
Windwalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 954
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thor View Post

If you have any significant assets at all I strongly suggest a Trust. And a prenup and a good Will (designed to mesh with the Trust).
Agreed 100%!

If I was to ever get divorced, which I will get destroyed in, the second it's finalized I will be setting up a trust. The Will is already set up, but would be changed in the event of a divorce.

There's a snowballs chance in hell I would ever get married again. No way I would sign up to be a 3 time loser, but on the off chance I went mental and did, a pre-nup would absolutely be executed. Even living together would be a risk as common-law would kick in a a specific date in the future.

In some places, that's as little as 6 months. Mind blown over that! Definitely food for thought.

Added food for thought. All one has to do is cruise through this forum to see the devastating effects of underestimating your spouse.

To the best of my knowledge, only one person that walked this planet was ever perfect!
Windwalker is offline  
post #48 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 02:31 PM
Member
 
Wolf1974's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 5,551
Re: Pre Nups

It depends on when you are married and what you have to protect. Here prenups protect existing accounts and property. It doesn’t protect future profits and property later bought together.


So a young couple with no investments, kids, and no property have no real need for one. As a divorced dad with kids, pension,House, investments I would never consider marriage without one.


It isn’t about planning for the demise of your marriage it is all about insurance protection. We all buy insurance for various things this is just another form of that.
Wolf1974 is offline  
 
post #49 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 05:01 PM
Member
 
Wolf1974's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 5,551
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Well I was the one that asked for a pre nup. And a will may be suitable for people with a small asset base but it isn't for people that have a larger estate.

It does not surprise me you don't understand the concept of the OP. As stated it has nothing to do with character and integrity, we have plenty of that here but we are smart enough to protect our children and estates. In your case if you die first and your husband remarries then his future wife will get your house and not your kids. That may be fine for you or those with not much to their names but it is foolish for people with money.
Yep

And the two old,but true, sayings summarize it best

A fool and his money are easily parted

The person you divorce isn’t the person you married

Prenups when you have kids and assets are a necessity. It really should be mandatory my opinion
Wolf1974 is offline  
post #50 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 05:20 PM
Member
 
NobodySpecial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 9,152
Re: Pre Nups

I have heard that in the states that they are unenforceable. Is this true?
NobodySpecial is offline  
post #51 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 05:39 PM
Member
 
Betrayedone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois, but not proud of it......
Posts: 929
Re: Pre Nups

Best advice is not to re-marry........avoid the problem altogether!
Betrayedone is offline  
post #52 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 05:58 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 98
Re: Pre Nups

Wow! 4 pages of posts in less than 24 hours. Great that we can disagree on this.

As a man who has worked hard, delayed gratification for decades and saved and has difficulty trusting the future, OUR Pre-Nup made it possible for me-at age 56-EMOTIONALLY to marry and commit to a wonderful widow and her 3 adult children. The pre-nup was difficult for her to accept at first; now we're 7 years into the marriage and things are fine. We do need to review our estate plan soon. I am fearful that she'll want to erase the pre-nup. I may not be able to do that, emotionally.
Randy2 is offline  
post #53 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 06:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,204
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Randy2 View Post
Wow! 4 pages of posts in less than 24 hours. Great that we can disagree on this.

As a man who has worked hard, delayed gratification for decades and saved and has difficulty trusting the future, OUR Pre-Nup made it possible for me-at age 56-EMOTIONALLY to marry and commit to a wonderful widow and her 3 adult children. The pre-nup was difficult for her to accept at first; now we're 7 years into the marriage and things are fine. We do need to review our estate plan soon. I am fearful that she'll want to erase the pre-nup. I may not be able to do that, emotionally.

Why would you erase it?

That would be crazy!
chillymorn69 is offline  
post #54 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 06:13 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,122
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I know him better than anyone and he is as I describe. I wouldn't have married a man who didnt have those qualities.
If that were true you wouldn't be on your second husband.
Personal is offline  
post #55 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 06:13 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 999
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
When we married I was 19 and he 23. At that age you do change more, but when I married my second husband we were both in our late 40's, so far more mature and far more aware of what we wanted in a marriage and partner. I had far far higher criteria for a husband by then, firstly he had to be a strong Christian,be totally honest, have strong moral values, and great integrity. I hit the jackpot.
I'm glad for you that you are so happy with your husband, but I don't really understand how you can be so blindly sure of what will happen down the road after already having one marriage that didn't go as planned.

Faith may be enough for you. Others prefer legal assurance.

zookeeper is online now  
post #56 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 06:40 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,518
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by NobodySpecial View Post
I have heard that in the states that they are unenforceable. Is this true?
There is very little in the law that is absolute. Here a pre nup is just part of the whole picture and the courts can over rule them. Our advise is that we are to review and update the pre nup and wills regularly, 3 yearly roughly. That is a warning to others that have one in place although your laws may be different. For eg. you get married and have a pre nup, let 20 years go by without any review, update or simply signing off that the current one is still valid, then it can be petitioned that the pre nup has become watered down or invalid because so much time has gone by. By reviewing and updating on a regular basis the courts can see that your wishes are solid and it is much harder to be over ruled.
MrsHolland is offline  
post #57 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 07:34 PM
Member
 
Thor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 11,242
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by NobodySpecial View Post
I have heard that in the states that they are unenforceable. Is this true?
It depends where you are and what the terms are. Each state has different laws. A prenup generated in one state can be useless when you move to another state. Some provisions are not enforceable. The quality of the document is very important, too.

In my state they are generally enforceable.
Thor is offline  
post #58 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 07:50 PM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 4,185
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by NobodySpecial View Post
I have heard that in the states that they are unenforceable. Is this true?
Private contracts are trumped by state law, so a prenup can be overturned in court. It really depends on the knowledge and skill of the lawyer(s) who wrote and/or reviewed the prenup.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
MJJEAN is online now  
post #59 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-06-2018, 08:02 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Randy2 View Post
Wow! 4 pages of posts in less than 24 hours.
Most of the posts are @Diana7 telling everyone how great her second husband is.
snorzola is offline  
post #60 of 116 (permalink) Old 01-07-2018, 12:55 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 7,259
Re: Pre Nups

Quote:
Originally Posted by snorzola View Post
Most of the posts are @Diana7 telling everyone how great her second husband is.
So because I disagree with most of you I get that. Thanks. Oh and BTW he is great, sorry I am not going to lie about that, but whoever I married I would never ever get a prenup. No matter how rich or poor he was or how rich or poor I was. A marriage for me isn't one where I start off by withholding assets from the marriage or my husband, nor he me. A marriage for me is one where we share everything, money, possessions, assets, pensions, etc. Otherwise why get married. I made promises when I married him that with all my worldly goods I thee endow, and I am not going to go back on those promises. Also neither of us are materialistic or money oriented. We know that there are more important things in life, such as how we act towards each other and the example we set our children. How we act in difficult situations such as a divorce.
Diana7 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I'm in a toxic relationship with someone that i suspect has BPD, i need advise. sgs General Relationship Discussion 8 09-27-2017 03:07 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome