Women do a lot better in divorce, they're awarded custody 90% of the time. Whoever is awarded custody typically gets the marital home, and receives support (alimony and/or child support) from the other spouse. If women got shafted like men they wouldn't be so quick to file. It's really simple to figure out, it's a a result of the biased courts against men.
If a woman was looking at losing her kids, home, incurring massive debt, living in a 1 bedroom dump rental, and handing her ex half her pay for the next 18 years, she would think long and hard before filing.
Most divorced couples are getting 50/50 custody nowadays. If the woman is being given "90%" custody, it's because the father doesn't have the means to parent his kids 3.5 days out of the week, or he doesn't WANT to parent them half the week. Or, he's been proven to be an unfit parent, or, he simply doesn't feel he'd be able to do as good as job as the mother. When my ex-husband and I divorced 25 years ago, he said to me right out, "I'm not looking for shared custody. You take much better care of our son than I ever could, so I think it's best he be with you as the primary parent, I pay you child support every month, and I see him on the schedule we worked out earlier." And it worked fabulously for us until my son left for college.
Secondly, there are a lot of women working now, and some of them make as much if not MORE than their husbands, so this assumption that a man is going to be bled dry while his wife lives it up in the marital home, charging up a storm at Bloomingdale's and spending the rest of her day eating bon bons is ludicrous. Generally, it's STILL the woman who sacrifices her career to stay home with the kids when a couple decides one parent will stay home to raise them. So while the husband continues building his career - and worth - in the market and advances forward over the years, the stay at home parent is losing ground in the job market every day and eventually becomes pretty much unmarketable. In those cases, TEMPORARY alimony is justified and often ordered while the stay at home parent scrambles to find a way to suddenly become financially independent in a market that likely no longer wants them. It happens ALL the time.
The OP isn't even stating correct stats. Women initiate divorce approximately 68-70% of the time, not 80. But as I've seen over the course of my lifetime and read for more years than I can count, most men simply don't have the gonads to do it themselves. They'll stay in a miserable marriage and STILL fight to stay in it when the topic of divorce comes up. I think a big part of it is inertia, because they don't welcome the change that would come with it. They have no desire and no idea how to be on their own and have to fend for themselves without someone else to do it for them. In most households, the wives do the overwhelming majority of the work - cleaning, cooking, laundry, appointment setting, child-rearing, bill paying, keeping everyone's life running on schedule. Sorry, but that's just the way it really is. And a good lot of these 'miserable' husbands are more than happy to lay on their asses and let their wives run the show - while *****ing about how miserable they are, of course.
The difference here is, women have the guts to get up and make a divorce happen when they're done with a crappy marriage. But a lot of men lack the gonads to do it and THAT'S why more women initiate divorce. It ain't rocket science. For some men, "it's cheaper to keep her." For others, they simply don't want to be on their own and need a mommy to cater to them so a divorce is out of the question. For some, divorce is testament of failure in their eyes and they don't want to be seen as a failure. And for some, change of any kind frightens them.
It's also been statistically proven
that a woman's standard of living goes DOWN
in the event of a divorce, while a man's goes up.
So if women are initiating divorce 68-70% of the time, it's likely because they're the ones used to making the effort to get things done, and this is yet just another example of them doing that.
My husband didn't file for divorce because he's both lazy and selfish. He liked being married. He enjoyed being the respectable family man. He liked having a wife who was successful and active in the community. He liked having someone to manage all the stuff that makes up real life - housework, childcare, entertaining, family and social obligations - and a second income. He liked having an enthusiastic and active sex life. He would, and did, proclaim himself happily married.
LOL!! This is exactly
the point I was making above. I read this post by Rowan AFTER I posted the above.