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Tomara 06-26-2018 12:56 PM

Fiance and Ex Wife
 
With all the summer activities, weddings, birthdays, ballgames I am coming in constant contact with the ex wife, they have been divorced for 15 years and she is remarried. The first time I met her I put my hand out to say hello and she turned her back on me. She will not speak with me at any event. Oh, she is the one that divorce my fiancé’.

I am not wanting to attend the events where I know she will be there because it makes me uncomfortable. Is it wrong to just not attend? I can’t wait til she finds out G is trying to have their marriage annulled!
Also, the middle daughter treats me the same way her Mom does.

I have been nothing but friendly but really this is getting a little old after 2 1/2 years.






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sa58 06-26-2018 01:17 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Yes it is wrong not to attend any event you want to go to.
If other people decide to be ahole's let them. Ignore them
and enjoy your life. Do not play their silly childish game. If they
see you acting uncomfortable then they will think they won.

" Well we really got her " Do not let them win !! Do not even play!!
Rise above those petty little children and live your life as you want.
When you rise above them and stop playing their childish game they
will then be the ones who are frustrated and uncomfortable at events.

Show them who the adult is and let the children suffer in their own
misery. They obviously like it. Do not lower yourself to their level.

Have a long and wonderful life.

sokillme 06-26-2018 01:20 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
She has been divorced for 15 years and she acts like such a child? Why would you let her spoil your fun, why would you give her such power. Really she is not well adjusted individual, see her as such, laugh about it and don't worry.

Targon 06-26-2018 01:35 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Why let another person get inside your head?

Treat her like any other stranger on the planet.

Tomara 06-26-2018 04:09 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Maybe it’s that hospitality industry mind set that I must make sure everyone is please and smiles. Maybe I need to get a different job?


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SpinyNorman 06-26-2018 04:46 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomara (Post 19600475)
Maybe it’s that hospitality industry mind set that I must make sure everyone is please and smiles. Maybe I need to get a different job?


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No, just remember to stop working when you're not getting paid.

Good advice so far, go, enjoy, pretend you don't recognize the a##hole.

Tomara 06-26-2018 05:19 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
We wish to marry in the Catholic Church. Yes, 15 years is a long time but until I came along he didn’t plan to remarry so no need to annul the marriage.


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2ntnuf 06-26-2018 05:32 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
+70% of second marriages fail. You are looking right into the eye of the storm of a second marriage. How does it feel? It usually doesn't change. Sometimes, they learn how to tolerate you. Sometimes, they don't. Good luck.

Livvie 06-26-2018 05:33 PM

How can you anul a marriage that produced several children? Of course the marriage happened.

NextTimeAround 06-26-2018 05:35 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
What does your fiance say about his ex's behavior towards you. The last thing you want is for him to secretly or not so secretly enjoy a good cat fight.

Bluesclues 06-26-2018 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diana7 (Post 19600575)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomara (Post 19600533)
We wish to marry in the Catholic Church. Yes, 15 years is a long time but until I came along he didn’t plan to remarry so no need to annul the marriage.


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I thought you could only annul a marriage for specific set reasons.

In the Catholic Church you can get an annulment for cheating or even thinking about cheating. That would be lying about your intentions to be faithful at the time of the wedding. So it would be invalid in the eyes of the church.

2ntnuf 06-26-2018 06:09 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Diana7 (Post 19600575)
I thought you could only annul a marriage for specific set reasons.

Although the criteria has expanded, The vows are an oath to God, not your spouse. It's just that humans like to romanticize. How do you break a vow to God? It isn't easy. Mainly, you had to be in a state where you could not willingly make the vow, or understand what you were really doing, or you were never going to keep those vows, or something fairly heinous like that. That's why it is such a sin to remarry and not get an annulment, or even have sex with someone else before annulment. It's why it is breaking one of the ten commandments. It's adultery. It's a mess, but can be done reasonably easily today with the right amount of money and sponsors. It's good in some ways, but it's bad in others. No one knows your motives when you get married, except God. I don't know. It's a bit frightening to think about, if you are a believer of any denomination. You really are heavily relying on the mercy of God.

sa58 06-26-2018 06:23 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
The hospitality industry mindset means you have to try
and make everyone happy. The key word is try, some people
cannot be pleased. Your fiance never planned on getting remarried.
Maybe now that he is happy that is what bugs them. You make him happy
and they are miserable.

Remember ignore the childish individuals, and pity them.
They are often miserable and try and make everyone's life
around them like theirs..Being hospitable, try and make everyone happy.
It is also called being civil, and an adult. The annulment may be a problem
however .Maybe consider a different plan.

Have a wonderful and happy life together, live your life not theirs.

Tomara 06-26-2018 06:25 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Livvie (Post 19600551)
How can you anul a marriage that produced several children? Of course the marriage happened.



It’s a Catholic thing and it doesn’t say the kids didn’t come from the marriage.


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Tomara 06-26-2018 06:36 PM

Re: Fiance and Ex Wife
 
My fiancé is not crazy about how they treat me but he said just ignore them. He doesn’t let things upset him.

I am not concerned nor planning for this marriage to fail. I wish to be able take the sacrament in the church.


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