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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-25-2019, 02:37 PM
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Re: Jealousy

When a man is stupid enough to let his wife sleep with other men....he doesn't get to whine about it later. Sorry.

The issue is not what the wife did. The issue is that this man actually agreed to it.

When you play with matches you don't get to whine about burned fingers.

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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-25-2019, 04:57 PM
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Re: Jealousy

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I don't like the word jealousy in this context.
Me neither.

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To be jealous is to want something that someone else has.
That sounds more like envy. I seem to think jealousy is a third party wanting what I have.....or is that a distinction without a difference? haha

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I would say your wife is protective.
I think she is projecting. She had her fun after having 'regrets' for not riding the carousel in her younger days. She damn well doesn't want him to develop any 'regrets' now.

A classic example of making poor decisions early in a marriage and the consequences thereafter.

Good luck.

BTW, not picking on you, NextTimeAround, your post is just a springboard for my thoughts.
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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-25-2019, 05:00 PM
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Re: Jealousy

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For the past 10+ years, religion has also played a role in this, as the entire concept of non-attachment is a cornerstone of the belief system.
I'm intrigued! Is it possible for more background on this?
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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-25-2019, 10:10 PM
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Re: Jealousy

Yeah I can manage this **** like a boss. I am MARRIED to my wife, we are a COUPLE, we are one unit, there is only US. So no, neither of us is going to hang out with the opposite sex. THE END

Always moving ahead
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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 11:29 AM
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Re: Jealousy

Ah, so here is what OP is trying to justify:

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...ng-person.html

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #21 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 11:40 AM
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Re: Jealousy

Man, it's normal for a husband to limit is "spending time" with female friends.

If you're not realizing that you're not putting your relationship with your W first.

It's that simple. Really, really is.

So it appears this is your problem not hers.

Most married successful husbands can cultivate female friends in the same way you've described "comes naturally" to you.

You're really not that special in that respect.

It's just that most of these same men realize it's not something a married man does.

You have to decide.

Or eventually she will take to heart you want to spend time with other women, she'll stop talking to you about it, and she'll harden her heart.

Then you may lose her.
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post #22 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 11:58 AM
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Re: Jealousy

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I'll go ahead and say I am always a little....skeptical when someone complains about a jealous spouse and in the same breath says they always prefer friends of the opposite gender
Why?
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post #23 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 12:24 PM
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Re: Jealousy

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That sounds more like envy. I seem to think jealousy is a third party wanting what I have.....or is that a distinction without a difference? haha
Let me clear this up for you and @NextTimeAround. (For some reason I get all weird when people confuse Jealousy and Envy.)

Envy is wanting what someone else has - their car, their wife, their full head of hair, etc. Thou shalt not covet!

Jealousy is fear of losing something you have to someone else - your spouse to another lover, your friends to more interesting people, your children's love to their new spouse (like some Mother-in-laws apparently do), your dog's affection to your new roommate, etc.

Next week we will discuss the difference between "Are" and "our" plus "Then" and Than." ;-)
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post #24 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 02:33 PM
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That sounds more like envy. I seem to think jealousy is a third party wanting what I have.....or is that a distinction without a difference? haha
Let me clear this up for you and @NextTimeAround. (For some reason I get all weird when people confuse Jealousy and Envy.)

Envy is wanting what someone else has - their car, their wife, their full head of hair, etc. Thou shalt not covet!

Jealousy is fear of losing something you have to someone else - your spouse to another lover, your friends to more interesting people, your children's love to their new spouse (like some Mother-in-laws apparently do), your dog's affection to your new roommate, etc.

Next week we will discuss the difference between "Are" and "our" plus "Then" and Than." ;-)
And how about those people who use “all” in place of “I’ll”?!?!?

Anyhoo....is jealousy really a fear, though? In the Old Testament it’s said that God was jealous of Israel as they chased after false idols. Not so much fear but righteous indignation?
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post #25 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 03:04 PM
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Re: Jealousy

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And how about those people who use all in place of Ill?!?!?

Anyhoo....is jealousy really a fear, though? In the Old Testament its said that God was jealous of Israel as they chased after false idols. Not so much fear but righteous indignation?
I'm not a biblical scholar, but it sounds like my definition of jealousy to me. they were chasing after false idols, IOW, worshipping/loving something else when he wanted them to be worshipping/loving him. So wasn't he essentially fearful of losing their devotion that should be directed at him to these false idols?

Maybe FEAR is not the right word? But it's a reaction to the threat of losing something you consider yours.

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post #26 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 03:28 PM
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Are we really arguing about word definitions????
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post #27 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 03:34 PM
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And how about those people who use “all” in place of “I’ll”?!?!?

Anyhoo....is jealousy really a fear, though? In the Old Testament it’s said that God was jealous of Israel as they chased after false idols. Not so much fear but righteous indignation?
I'm not a biblical scholar, but it sounds like my definition of jealousy to me. they were chasing after false idols, IOW, worshipping/loving something else when he wanted them to be worshipping/loving him. So wasn't he essentially fearful of losing their devotion that should be directed at him to these false idols?

Maybe FEAR is not the right word? But it's a reaction to the threat of losing something you consider yours.
I’ll buy that for a dollar 👍
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post #28 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 03:36 PM
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Are we really arguing about word definitions????
The red pill made me do it (along with a side serving of MGTOW)
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post #29 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 03:46 PM
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Are we really arguing about word definitions????
The red pill made me do it (along with a side serving of MGTOW)
Knowing how to laugh at oneself is half the battle...
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post #30 of 35 (permalink) Old 02-26-2019, 05:54 PM
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Re: Jealousy

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Are we really arguing about word definitions????
Noooo!!!! We're discussing them.

Do I need to define "argue" and "discuss" for you?! (Just kidding. At least I thought that was funny...)
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