Hey there, thanks for the replies and thoughts y'all!
, I personally hate multi-dating. I get confused between whoís who and who said what, and have put my foot in my mouth more than once. Iím not OK with someone that I really like dating others. BUT, I donít want him to settle for me if thereís a better match out there for him. I know from past experience that Iím usually the one who is passed over when thereís more than 1 woman in ďcompetitionĒ for the same man. I really like being around him; it was comfortable right from the get-go. So, Iím going to continue to enjoy that company while itís there, and see where it goes. If it goes somewhere, great, if not, at least I know that there are decent men out there yet; theyíre just hard to find. In the meantime, Iím going to continue to put myself out there and see others, and if he asks, Iíll let him know.
, I try not to look at dating as a means to an end, and instead just suss out men to see if theyíre worth spending more time getting to know. Often, theyíre not, but in very rare cases like this one, theyíre definitely worth spending time getting to know. I also understand though that heís been committed for 10 years, and out of a marriage for only 1 year. So, I understand that heíd want to see others. Itís just disappointing to me because Iíve been through the ringer and I know whatís out there. So, when I find a good man (which is rare), I want to hang on like a pup to a root. However, thatís suffocating. Yes, once sex is involved, I would be cutting off any other contact with anyone else, and would expect him to do the same. We havenít hit that point yet.
, thank-you for the birthday wishes! :-) I do like your thoughts on having a conversation with him on Friday. The only thing is that not spending time with each other also means that we arenít getting to know one another better, which means that thereís not much chance of moving forward with anything, including a friendship. I do understand though, but may give it a little more time before doing this. If we go out a few more times, and heís still not ready to move in any direction, this is a course of action that Iíll try.
, thank-you, too, for the birthday wishes! I didnít get a good nightís sleep, but do have a less depressed perspective this morning.
, Iím just on eHarmony and Bumble at this time. I get what youíre saying, but thereís just something about this man that makes me feel like heís being real with me. Heís been the same guy throughout all of the dates, and has told me some personal information that Iím sure most wouldnít share right away. I learned this info on our first date. Heís also shown me photos of his kids, also on date #1. Most people tend to keep intimate details like that hidden for awhile. I feel like heís the real deal, and that heís showing me who he is. He could be lying, yup, but I get the feeling that heís not. But yes, we both have a very long way to go before we know each other well. I just feel like weíve gotten a really strong start at this point.
, Iím at the point that you describe as well.
, your story made me laugh, thank-you!
, I donít know 100% if heís the one I want to be with for the long-term. I canít possibly know that after only 4 dates. But, I do know that this is something worth exploring further. Iím just at the point where heís really the only man Iím interested in spending time with, and I want to know what makes him tick.
, heís pursuing the divorce, and they have lawyer meetings set up for later this month. Iím also privy to some information regarding this, and the sale of their home, etc. Iím comfortable with where things stand with where heís at, but would never buy a home with him or anyone else anytime soon. Hellís no!
Some have talked about the number of dates theyíve been on before finding their Mr. or Miss. Right. Here are my stats: was on Match during Dec 2017 to March 2018 and went on 56 dates with 27 men. Iíve been on Bumble since late August 2018 and eHarmony since October 2018 (currently still on both), and Iíve met probably at least double the amount of men. To be honest, I stopped keeping track because it just became depressing. So, Iíve probably met 90+ men since December 2017, and had 1 really poor relationship out of that which lasted 4 months. Besides this current man, Iíve met 2 other really fantastic men who were contenders: 1 I ended because he was very clingy; 1 he ended because he chose someone else over me due to our differing cultural backgrounds. Iíve met some other really nice men who could be contenders, but they havenít been interested. I get a lot interested in just sex/FWB/FB though.