I read something last week that described my situation to a T.
When a partner goes silent, it creates a flight or fight reaction in the person being stonewalled. This can often escalate the situation as the person's fear at being shut out turns to terror..and then anger. The person being stonewalled will react emotionally...tears, anger and will project increasing emotion into the situation in an effort to get a reaction, any reaction from the offender.
Being shut out emotionally is a painfully lonely thing.
I always like to try to understand where people are coming from, walk in their shoes as it were. I hope that a little research will help people to understand that:
1. sometimes online we can't always explain fully the situation we are in, or use exactly the right words
2. when in doubt, give people the benefit of that doubt and try to be helpful
3. cherry picking comments and snap judgments are unhelpful
I apologize, this thread sort of got derailed into a general discussion which is what I've been talking about in my last few posts, not really about your situation in particular. The "strong" comment I keep harping on because I know too many of these people and they are all complete jerks. They are anything but strong people.
As said in the general discussion, I think your husband needs to be man enough to tell you "I need some time to think about this" but he needs to understand that he has to talk at some point.
I would work from that angle. Approach him with this subject when you are both in good spirits. Just a discussion, not a fight. Tell him how it makes you feel. Then tell him you understand some people need time and even though it goes against how you operate, you will respect the way he goes about handling a situation. However, and this is a big however, HE needs to be the one to come back within 24 hours and give his thoughts, tell his apologies, whatever needs to be discussed, you expect him to initiate the conversation once he's gathered his thoughts. This is where HIS compromise comes in.
Work at it from the angle that you are extending an olive branch and coming to a level of compromise for him first. Then lay out what you expect in return. What his compromise in this communication mess looks like and find an acceptable one from both of you. Then at the end, cover that this new situation isn't set in stone right off the bat. It can be fluid until you find something that works well enough for both of you but you expect from yourself and from him to try something different because it isn't working and you're becoming apathetic as a result of his silence.
Listen to Tool - Schism.
"I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Pure intention juxtaposed
Will set two lovers' souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes
Testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then
Has burned a hole between us so
We cannot seem to reach an end
Crippling our communication
I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame
It doesn't mean I don't desire
To point the finger, blame the other
Watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together
That comes from the squaring off between
And the circling is worth it
Finding beauty in the dissonance
There was a time that the pieces fit
But I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know
The dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow
And strengthen our communication Cold silence has... a tendency to
Atrophy any... sense of compassion
Between supposed brothers
Between supposed lovers
Repeat that last bit to him. Make him understand.