Mentioning “the ex” in causal conversation
My wife and I have a very good relationship. One of my only concerns is her tendency to mention exes during conversations. I know very little about her previous relationships. I don’t know many details such as why the relationships ended, or how they shape who she is today. I have no problem with having real conversations about those things. I realize that she dated people before me, and that’s ok. I just have an issue with how exes are frequently brought into conversation when we go out on date nights. They are never mentioned any other time, expect when we go out together to dinner, movies, concerts, etc.
This is how it usually goes, I’ll mention something in conversation ,and she’ll make a comments such as “my ex used to like that”, “I went there with an ex”, or yesterday’s comment, “back when I went to my exes family party”. They are all brief one sentence comments about people I know nothing about. I don’t expect to erase her past, or not talk about whatever is on her mind. I’d just prefer spending date nights together without the high likelihood an ex will be brought into conversation.
There’s just something that hurts my feelings about the fact that whenever we are having fun together, the thought of an ex is important enough to mention. It particularly feels strange to me when she describes herself as someone completely different in those relationships than the conservative, cautious person I married. In fact, I’d love to see her be able to let go and not always be so cautious. The “exes” have seen that side, and I haven’t. That is another reason I feel awkward when I hear these random comments on our date nights.
Should I mention these feelings to wife? I’m just curious what you all think. I’m not sure if I’m too sensitive, but it’s also difficult not share my feelings with my wife.