I have gone out with him.
Iíve also tried to have my own life and do things and he gets upset. Especially if it was on a weekend that his kids were with us. Even if it was to see my own daughter.
He would say I always go out which isnít true. He would also say I was never there wasnít true. I never go out.
I feel like you havenít read everything from the beginning. My thread goes way beyond accepting him. Thereís so much.
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I understand. Iíve read the thread.
You need to be your own person. Who cares if he gets upset. You are your own person, you are not there just to do whatever he wants. There needs to be a balance. You need your own life, he needs his own life, and then you need your life together. If he gets mad if you go out who cares. This is a way he is trying to control and manipulate you. He is allowed to go out with his friends and you shouldnít get mad. You are allowed to go out with friends and he shouldnít get mad. Who cares what he says. Heís an ******* that is going to manipulate you and try to control you. But you canít let it happen bc you are your own person. Iím sure that you have also tried to control and manipulate him, we have all done it. But that doesnít stop him from going out with his friends does it? So donít let him getting mad stop you from doing you.
I get that it does beyond accepting him. But you have limited realistic options. And one is to accept him and try to live in peace while not allowing him to manipulate you. The second is to leave him. There are no other options. Do you understand that? He will not change. All you can do is leave and hope to find better or be okay with possibly of finding worse or no one. Or you can learn to live with this crappy selfish man and learn to be at peace with it and try to focus on the good stuff to keep you sane. There is no other option and I donít think you understand this.
Fighting wonít solve anything. Coming on here to get a bunch of strangers to admit that he is a jerk isnít going to change anything. You already know heís a jerk. But you also know that he has some good qualities which is why you fell in love with him.
I am not telling you to stay with him and accept him. I am telling you there are 2 things you can do. Stay, accept him and learn to live in peace, or leave him. There is good and bad with both decisions. And only you can make that decision. Because what is right for you, may not be right for someone else.
And the other thing is. I am 100% all for women leaving their abusive relationship. But itís something to work up to. Because itís not healthy for you to leave and come back and leave and come back. In fact, the more you do that, the harder it is for you to ever successfully leave. Also it takes a huge hit on your self esteem each time you come back. Also, it tells the abuser that he has total control over you and he knows he doesnít have to change anything bc you keep coming back. So I am saying to you, that if you make the firm decision to leave, you need to first get yourself emotionally and mentally stable enough to leave him once for good and never turn back again.
So you need to decide what to do. And you have to be very purposeful and set goals for whatever decision you make. Things donít magically change, you need to make good decisions and continue to make good decisions. The worst thing that you can do is waver. To go back and forth.
I want you to be happy. But itís going to be a tough road to happiness. But itís worth taking that road, and the sooner you do it, the sooner you will be happy. So everyone here will support whatever decision you make and will help you. But YOU have to make the decision. You have to get control of your life.