My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 07:17 AM Thread Starter
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My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

I don't know if you remember me and my story. I have been married for 10 years, 2 kids, he was abusive, I got a restraining order against him. Now we are in the middle of a nasty divorce. He already moved on and has another relationship. He doesn't care about the kids, he rarely comes to see them. He blames me for the failure of the marriage. Lately I realised he is using my mother's fb account to check me up. I noticed this because my mum is never on fb and she has a very easy password. Someone used my mother's account to see my stories. It can only be my ex. Why does he do it? Does he still care? Or is just pure curiosity? I am wondering and a part of me wishes he still cared for me and the kids...

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post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 07:46 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

He a child still, and not man enough to come right out and ask . He's using anything he can to use against you. Delete your mother's account and make her another with a simple pass word. He has made you co-dependent and your hope sadly is only one way. No you are already to a point where he show no change. Nip it in the bud.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.

Last edited by Tilted 1; 09-24-2019 at 07:47 AM. Reason: Spelling
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post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 07:50 AM
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Probably curiosity, or hoping to find something he can use against you to make the divorce uglier. It's really not that unusual to snoop on the ex/soon to be ex, people want to feel good about themselves and check that their life is better than the ex's.

If it was because he cared he would of reached out at least to the children.

Have your mom change her password.
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post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 08:27 AM
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Something you say on FB could be used against you in the divorce. Or just curiosity.

I would post something like this: “So much happier now! Never realized a man could please me like this. Finally a man equipped for the job. Finally a man who knows how to use it. No more faking for me! I feel so sorry for his new woman. Faking is no fun.”

See if he reacts. If so, you know he’s using your mom’s account.

No, he doesn’t care about you and the kids. His old family is divorcing him. He has a new family now.

Last edited by CraigBesuden; 09-24-2019 at 08:32 AM.
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post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 08:36 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

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Someone used my mother's account to see my stories. It can only be my ex.
What are you seeing that leads you to that conclusion?
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post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 08:38 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

i hope by now you blocked him on your mom's account and changed the passwords....let's face it we live in a social media environment, while possible to live off the grid it is becoming harder. I would very much suggest you reconsider what you post for the time being, i would limit your connection to all social media until the divorce is over and for some time after that.
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post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 08:54 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

I think people stalk others on social media out of curiosity mostly, but your STBXH is probably also wondering if you're posting things specifically about him -- or about anything that pertains to your divorce. I know my XH did that and I knew it was because he was sure I was posting about his lying, cheating ass! . But nope, never did that even once. So hopefully you're not putting your personal business on FB --- while it is entertaining for everyone else, it's never a good idea, especially when you're in the middle of a divorce


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post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 08:55 AM Thread Starter
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My mother is not using her account. But she seems to look at my stories and is often online. Talked with her, she is not on fb and not looking at the stories I post.
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post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:03 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by CraigBesuden View Post
Something you say on FB could be used against you in the divorce. Or just curiosity.

I would post something like this: “So much happier now! Never realized a man could please me like this. Finally a man equipped for the job. Finally a man who knows how to use it. No more faking for me! I feel so sorry for his new woman. Faking is no fun.”

See if he reacts. If so, you know he’s using your mom’s account.

No, he doesn’t care about you and the kids. His old family is divorcing him. He has a new family now.


He is not divorcing his kids...
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post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:09 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

It's in your best interest to not be on that crap anyway........

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post #11 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:14 AM
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Cool Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

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Originally Posted by anna88 View Post
I don't know if you remember me and my story. I have been married for 10 years, 2 kids, he was abusive, I got a restraining order against him. Now we are in the middle of a nasty divorce. He already moved on and has another relationship. He doesn't care about the kids, he rarely comes to see them. He blames me for the failure of the marriage. Lately I realised he is using my mother's fb account to check me up. I noticed this because my mum is never on fb and she has a very easy password. Someone used my mother's account to see my stories. It can only be my ex. Why does he do it? Does he still care? Or is just pure curiosity? I am wondering and a part of me wishes he still cared for me and the kids...
A loser's defense mechanism!

Get to a lawyer, start the wheels turning, and put him squarely in the rear-view mirror!

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post #12 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:23 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

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Originally Posted by anna88 View Post
My mother is not using her account. But she seems to look at my stories and is often online. Talked with her, she is not on fb and not looking at the stories I post.
You can't track when someone "LOOKS" at your stories or pictures.

Is he LIKING your posts or putting hearts on your posts using your mother's profile to do it? Is that what you mean?

Because otherwise, this whole thing doesn't make sense.

And quite honestly, I think you're hoping that's what's happening so you're reading into something that probably isn't even happening because you have no clue whose looking at your stuff. And unless he's purposely logging into your mother's account to gather intel for your upcoming divorce by looking at your stuff, you STILL wouldn't know he's doing it because you can't track it. I think you're reaching because you want to believe he's doing it.

And have your mother change her password. Why are you sitting around being OK with this ass-hole possibly infringing on your mother's privacy and supposedly logging into her FB account???? Why is that OK with you?

And as far as wishing he still cared, well that's just the victim in you talking. You haven't been away from your abuser long enough to be disgusted by him just yet. But you will.

I certainly hope you've put a child support order in place. That's the LAW, no matter how much he tries to bully you into not doing it. If you don't have one, GET one. Just because he's a complete failure as a father doesn't mean he's not responsible for the children he CHOSE to put on this earth.

Once you start seeing your worth, you'll find it harder to stay around people who don't.
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post #13 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:30 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

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He is not divorcing his kids...
Sure he is. He's already moved on with someone else and you said yourself that you wish he still cared for you AND your kids. That statement right there says it all about Father of the Year.

Once you start seeing your worth, you'll find it harder to stay around people who don't.
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post #14 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:35 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

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Originally Posted by CraigBesuden View Post
Something you say on FB could be used against you in the divorce. Or just curiosity.

I would post something like this: ďSo much happier now! Never realized a man could please me like this. Finally a man equipped for the job. Finally a man who knows how to use it. No more faking for me! I feel so sorry for his new woman. Faking is no fun.Ē

See if he reacts. If so, you know heís using your momís account.

No, he doesnít care about you and the kids. His old family is divorcing him. He has a new family now.
danger will robinson, danger
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post #15 of 37 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:53 AM
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Re: My soon to be ex is checking me out on fb

I agree with change the password. I only partially agree with things for divorce. Be very careful and do not post anything to FB especially dating, parties or anything containing men. I know this sucks, but abusive men can be extremely jealous and with a restraining order he might be chexking on you to justify hurting you.

I am not saying don't have fun, but don't post your story to FB right now.
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