Re: Boyfriend staying distant for days after arguments.....
You twist yourself into a pretzel to accommodate him, to understand him, to communicate with him.
What does he do? He punishes you for whatever sins he feels you committed.
You seem determined to stay with this man, so you should know that this will not get better without some deep therapy.
He is very sure of you. He knows that he can manipulate you to accommodate him. He is passive-aggressive and you bite every time. The silent treatment is abuse
Yet, you want to marry this behavior. It won't get better. It will only get worse. He clearly only cares about his own feelings and thinks he has a right to demand that you respect his feelings, but he doesn't have to respect yours.
Maybe his childhood was filled with punishment for not agreeing with everything. If so, that's his problem. This is a modern world in which women don't have to follow their husbands in everything. If you marry him, you will be a throwback. And a very unhappy one.