Re: Hope to get the thoughts out of your head
I agree with Tilted, do not aim any of that anger toward yourself, you didnt earn it, SHE did.
As far as the thoughts and the mind movies, I have been there. You have to remember that YOU are the only one in control of your own brain, and what festers there is only what you allow to. After my last husband divorced me to remarry his ex wife, the two of them were in my mind CONSTANTLY. I was even dreaming about them when I would go to sleep, which was weird for me because my mind doesnt usually work that way. I finally came to the realization that they were going on their merry way living their lives while I tormented MYSELF with them in my brain. I had to make a conscious effort to kick them out whenever they would wander in. I would tell myself STOP! often out loud (when I was alone lol) and force my focus onto something else. Eventually it worked but I really had to work at it for a while. YOU are the one in control of this, so force her OUT. She... like my two.. does not deserve the real estate in your mind that you keep giving her, so make her leave.
Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
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