I fell in love for the right reasons. We have a lot in common, get along great, have similar goals in life, and have a lot of fun together. She is a soccer coach, athletic, and good mother. She just investigates all the time and it is really draining. I've talked to her about it, but she thinks it's her right to do it. I am a 100% faithful person to who I'm with and I was hoping things would change and she would see that. I dont gawk, but i do notice once in a while. I've seen her do the same exact thing.
Didn't you have trouble letting your Ex go? There were issues there, were there not?
Look, 3 things to do or end the relationship...
1) BOTH of you need to learn how to communicate. BOTH. You guys are 36, it is way past time for this to happen individually and as a couple.
2) Learn to handle your temper, in general. Your "Reaction" is really the problem.
3) For ex, explaining to her, that me look at women, and it is natural, would be a good starting place. You need to not be defensive and calmly explain how you feel.
Or get out of this relationship and start a new one...
My GF called me out about looking a women one day, I calmly told her that she needed to worry when I did not look at woman, and I dropped it and did not speak about it again.
Either, get this stuff figured out, or look forward to a life of drama and misery...