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post #16 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 05:04 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

I think there is "good interesting" and "bad interesting". Hollywood may suggest that the ex-con, unemployed artist with mental health issues is a good match,but life isn't like that.

People can be very interesting without having problems / bad drama.

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post #17 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 05:12 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

I do think that if people cant seem to keep a long term relationship they think of reasons why that may be that don't reflect badly on themselves. I have heard so many reasons given by single people that are crazy. For this man he is thinking that its because he has no drama. I can't go along with this at all. I and I am sure many women would much prefer a man with no drama.
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post #18 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 05:42 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

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This guy is probably one of the most mature, logical, got-his-act-together, guys that I know.

He said things were usually fine for a month or so because you donít expect to hear about a lot of issues on the first few dates, but after a woman sees he is just happy-go-lucky on a daily basis and handles life with logic, they become bored.
I'd bet you the actual problem isn't his drama free lifestyle. A truly even keeled man who is very logical in his approach to life can read as cold, disinterested, and lacking passion. A Spock type man isn't exactly a lot of women's cup of tea, you know?

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #19 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

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As far as life goes... I donít want drama, but I want challenges and hardships, and excitement and surprises etc.

I would never be happy with.....always happy loving husband, easy peasy life. If things were always easy, I wouldnít like that. Itís not human.
I agree with a lot you said in your post. The parts I copied, however, actually does sound like wanting to stir the pot, which I consider drama. I don't understand that you don't want an always happy loving husband or an easy peasy life. Let's just say for the sake of discussion that life just started working that way for you: your husband was always happy and loving, and you noticed that life had been fairly easy for 10 years or so. If you would do something to try to change that, that is what I'm talking about. It's as if life deals you a great hand, but you're not happy; you have to have trouble and conflict at times or you're not happy.

I'm not putting that down at all. Your life doesn't affect mine nor does mine affect yours, but I just find it interesting. I think as a whole, life has become easier and easier as the decades and generations have passed. For example, what my grandparents had to bust their buts to get, I could probably get with a job at Wal-Mart and sit on the couch the rest of the time. My grandparent's generation didn't have time to wish for more hardship to keep life interesting; they had enough. With our generation, life is easier, so we have to look for drama just to keep from getting bored.

There is nothing more sad or glorious than generations changing hands- John Mellencamp
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post #20 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 06:48 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

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I agree with a lot you said in your post. The parts I copied, however, actually does sound like wanting to stir the pot, which I consider drama. I don't understand that you don't want an always happy loving husband or an easy peasy life. Let's just say for the sake of discussion that life just started working that way for you: your husband was always happy and loving, and you noticed that life had been fairly easy for 10 years or so. If you would do something to try to change that, that is what I'm talking about. It's as if life deals you a great hand, but you're not happy; you have to have trouble and conflict at times or you're not happy.



I'm not putting that down at all. Your life doesn't affect mine nor does mine affect yours, but I just find it interesting. I think as a whole, life has become easier and easier as the decades and generations have passed. For example, what my grandparents had to bust their buts to get, I could probably get with a job at Wal-Mart and sit on the couch the rest of the time. My grandparent's generation didn't have time to wish for more hardship to keep life interesting; they had enough. With our generation, life is easier, so we have to look for drama just to keep from getting bored.


I get what your saying but we will always have perceived problems. Problems for our grandparents were real problems compared to ours. But the problems our grandparents grandparents had were what they would consider real problems and our grandparents had it easy. This can go back to the beginning of time.
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post #21 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 07:06 PM Thread Starter
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I agree with a lot you said in your post. The parts I copied, however, actually does sound like wanting to stir the pot, which I consider drama. I don't understand that you don't want an always happy loving husband or an easy peasy life. Let's just say for the sake of discussion that life just started working that way for you: your husband was always happy and loving, and you noticed that life had been fairly easy for 10 years or so. If you would do something to try to change that, that is what I'm talking about. It's as if life deals you a great hand, but you're not happy; you have to have trouble and conflict at times or you're not happy.



I'm not putting that down at all. Your life doesn't affect mine nor does mine affect yours, but I just find it interesting. I think as a whole, life has become easier and easier as the decades and generations have passed. For example, what my grandparents had to bust their buts to get, I could probably get with a job at Wal-Mart and sit on the couch the rest of the time. My grandparent's generation didn't have time to wish for more hardship to keep life interesting; they had enough. With our generation, life is easier, so we have to look for drama just to keep from getting bored.


I get what your saying but we will always have perceived problems. Problems for our grandparents were real problems compared to ours. But the problems our grandparents grandparents had were what they would consider real problems and our grandparents had it easy. This can go back to the beginning of time.
I appreciate that you get what I’m saying. Again, what you said here is correct. Every generation has their problems. As you said, each generation is probably perceived as having it easier, but I feel we have reached the place with the help of technology that things can be so much easier today. We no longer have to struggle and perform hard, manual labor constantly just to put food on the table. I am middle class, but If my grandparents could have lived like I am today, they would have thought they were in paradise. So, why not recognize how wonderful i have it and enjoy life along with the peace and contentment instead of viewing it as a boring life and looking for drama to stay entertained.

There is nothing more sad or glorious than generations changing hands- John Mellencamp
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post #22 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 07:14 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

There will always be problems in life, but that's not drama - that's circumstance beyond our control. However, IMO drama is created, usually from jealousy, envy, or a real (or perceived) injustice. People with healthy attitudes, who treat others with kindness and compassion, seldom have a lot of drama in their lives, unless it is created by someone else.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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post #23 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 07:16 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

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I appreciate that you get what Iím saying. Again, what you said here is correct. Every generation has their problems. As you said, each generation is probably perceived as having it easier, but I feel we have reached the place with the help of technology that things can be so much easier today. We no longer have to struggle and perform hard, manual labor constantly just to put food on the table. I am middle class, but If my grandparents could have lived like I am today, they would have thought they were in paradise. So, why not recognize how wonderful i have it and enjoy life along with the peace and contentment instead of viewing it as a boring life and looking for drama to stay entertained.


We have different conflicts today. Perceived problems that are real problems. By your rationale no one should be depressed.

We have everything we need. Our basic human needs are met and I understand what your saying. But there is more problems then our physical needs Being met.
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post #24 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 07:39 PM Thread Starter
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I appreciate that you get what I’m saying. Again, what you said here is correct. Every generation has their problems. As you said, each generation is probably perceived as having it easier, but I feel we have reached the place with the help of technology that things can be so much easier today. We no longer have to struggle and perform hard, manual labor constantly just to put food on the table. I am middle class, but If my grandparents could have lived like I am today, they would have thought they were in paradise. So, why not recognize how wonderful i have it and enjoy life along with the peace and contentment instead of viewing it as a boring life and looking for drama to stay entertained.


We have different conflicts today. Perceived problems that are real problems. By your rationale no one should be depressed.

We have everything we need. Our basic human needs are met and I understand what your saying. But there is more problems then our physical needs Being met.
I agree. I believe we are starting to overthink this. I understand that things happen in life; that is not drama. I’m just saying that some adults thrive on issues, problems, and chaos, and a lot of it is not natural, but it’s manufactured by them due to their personality. They can’t relate to someone who has a calm existence and doesn’t make a mountain of everything.

Speaking of depression, I certainly don’t have anything to be depressed about, but a lot of people leading my life probably would be depressed because their life wasn’t filled with chaos.

There is nothing more sad or glorious than generations changing hands- John Mellencamp
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post #25 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 09:00 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

Of course there are women who only like ****ed up men, and vice versa. But I don't think either are in the majority.

Maybe if I knew your friend and his dating situation I'd agree w/ your assessment. If so, I'd remind him there are worse things than striking out w/ losers.

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post #26 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 09:44 PM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

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I think you and your friend are relating two completely different things.

The opposite of boring is fun/passionate.

The opposite of "drama" (which I interpret as conflict) is peace.

Someone can be drama-free and fun. They can also be drama-free and boring.
Someone can be full of drama and fun. They can also be full of drama and boring.

I am a woman. My friends and family would say I'm fun. People who don't share my humor, interests, or personality might say I'm boring. Most all would agree that I lead a rather drama-free (a.k.a. peaceful) life.
That's good, this calm and peaceful life, just don't let it follow you it into the bedroom.

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post #27 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 02:14 AM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

How is he meeting these women?

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post #28 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 03:41 AM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

Could be the age of the women and men youíre speaking of. I would probably appear dull to a 20 something but to women my age who went through a bad boy phase or had a drama filled relationship the fact that I am drama free is appealing.
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post #29 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:01 AM
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Re: Drama Free and Boredom

My wife and I have lived a drama free life together for decades and both love it. We have fun and excitement - lots of travel, hobbies, adventures. We have the typical challenges of raising children. We've dealt with several friends and relatives who have had divorces or other personal challenges. But through it all, we've never had anything I would call drama - arguments but no big fights, no straying, no financial troubles. I can definitely see why people would want excitement in their lives, but I can't see why they would want drama.
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post #30 of 41 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 05:24 AM
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I think you and your friend are relating two completely different things.

The opposite of boring is fun/passionate.

The opposite of "drama" (which I interpret as conflict) is peace.

Someone can be drama-free and fun. They can also be drama-free and boring.
Someone can be full of drama and fun. They can also be full of drama and boring.

I am a woman. My friends and family would say I'm fun. People who don't share my humor, interests, or personality might say I'm boring. Most all would agree that I lead a rather drama-free (a.k.a. peaceful) life.
That's good, this calm and peaceful life, just don't let it follow you it into the bedroom.
I would think that would be the #1 "drama-free" zone. Not too many people are seeking to add conflict to their sex life.
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