Re: What should dad do?
I guess I'm going to be the dissenting voice here (which surprises me a little)....this is not an object, or even a puppy, this is a small, defenseless PERSON who is going to live FOREVER with the consequences of the decisions that the adults around her make. I don't know if I'm PMSing, or if the Eating Disorder thread has me a little raw, but the callousness of people who ought to see the actual VALUE of the life of this little one stings my heart.
I know it sounds like I'm judging people for their feelings, but I'm NOT...I just can't understand. I know that most people are not generous with themselves, even if they are willing to give money....somehow, being open and giving in spirit is more costly. But that's why we are here, on earth! What else for...to accumulate as much "stuff" as we can? Or money...? Or free-time...or peace and quiet...?? HOW is that more valuable than what we get by giving to other people?
In my lifetime, as an adult (so far), I have had puppies, dogs, cats, kittens, bunnies, birds, tadpoles, snakes, young children, teens, and even other adults within my sphere of care (and living IN my house), and I have NEVER EVER regretted the decision. Especially with the people, but also the animals. Is it challenging - YES. So freakin' what, what the heck are we here for if not to BE WITH other people when they need us...??? I can't be the only person on here who understands this...
Again, this is a HUMAN BEING, an utterly vulnerable, TRUSTING, oh-so-valuable tiny little human -- her emotional well-being is so much more valuable than keeping money, not making sacrifices, or her mother's x-husband's FEELINGS about his x-wife...this is a defenseless human being IN NEED, and of course, it's up to her sister to do her best to meet that need, and then the father's job to meet the need of his daughter, by allowing it (and helping her) - as it would be for ANY adult in that position!
If dad was a truly caring father, he would do everything he could to make his daughter's deepest wish come true - the outcome here will affect her for the rest of her life, no matter what he decides. He's not going to make it go away by forcing her to give the baby up. He may lose his daughter all together. It will be difficult, but the most rewarding experiences often are.
REMEMBER -- Ghandi said the greatness of a society is shown by how it treats it's weakest members...I don't think he meant that as how a society's government treats them, but the individual people in that society when they are called upon to make a choice. And I totally agree.
Please tell her that if her dad throws her out, she's welcome to come stay with me and my family if she needs to....my kids will double-up to make room, and I'd be honored to offer assistance to such a wonderful person as she must be. AND I MEAN THAT.