What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

 135Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 02:41 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,111
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobsmith View Post
No, I can't say I am looking for any sort of relationship. I think I am getting better at lying to them, lying with them, then sending them back into the wild. As I said, a good moral compass is not rewarded in society so if you need to survive in the wolf den, you have to act like a wolf.
This just makes me sad , I don't see how doing that would make anyone happy. I don't judge the "players" of the world, so long as they are upfront with people. But lying to people to get in their pants is just wrong.

ReformedHubby is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 02:49 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 16,599
I know you’ve already made up your own alternative facts Bob, but men come out better after divorce, not women.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.the...rticle/480333/
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #33 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 03:10 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Snowy North
Posts: 488
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
I know you’ve already made up your own alternative facts Bob, but men come out better after divorce, not women.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.the...rticle/480333/
What planet do you live on?????

Financially, in the courtroom, in custody battles men are at a distinct disadvantage .
Numb26 is offline  
 
post #34 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 03:57 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 16,599
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Numb26 View Post
What planet do you live on?????

Financially, in the courtroom, in custody battles men are at a distinct disadvantage .
How about read the article instead of being rude to me?
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #35 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 04:31 PM
Member
 
notmyjamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 1,682
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Married View Post

There are divorced people here that are MUCH happier now that they are single or remarried. @notmyjamie @Diana7
Yup!! Iím not happy every minute, but who among us is? But I am significantly more happy now than I was before I left my husband. My only regret is not figuring out how to do it years ago. But, my new guy says that it was because the fates wanted to save me for him so weíd find each other I guess I can live with that.
notmyjamie is offline  
post #36 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 04:59 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,837
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
I know youíve already made up your own alternative facts Bob, but men come out better after divorce, not women.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.the...rticle/480333/
I didn't really get that out of the article. I got, it sucks for everyone. Those women who choose to fight for something get 3 times what it costs them to win. Those women continuing to work through the marriage, children or not, don't find themselves making less.

I didn't notice why men make 30% more after divorce. I may have missed that.

I think some of the reasons are hidden. No one makes out good. Many men don't want a ready made family. Although, child support does reverse that a little, so the child can be raised by someone else.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #37 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 06:13 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,054
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

NVM.


You insulted posters and sound bitter, that’s why it turned to you. There are a bunch of threads and posts detailing what you are missing in life. You apparently cherry picked the oneS supporting your anger and bitterness, which is why I addressed my post to you.

Last edited by phillybeffandswiss; 11-30-2019 at 06:32 PM.
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #38 of 83 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 07:30 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,327
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

I would consider myself a very happy positive person. I went through a difficult divorce and thank God itís over and in the past. I learned from it, and Iím back to being happy and positive.
People arenít perfect. And it doesnít make them bad people. You will never find a perfect person. I donít understand why loving a person who makes mistakes is so hard for you. I suppose because their mistake makes you feel like it has something to do with who you are. But it doesnít. Thatís a lie the devil feeds us.

People sin. Love them anyways.
Girl_power is offline  
post #39 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 04:17 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Snowy North
Posts: 488
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
I would consider myself a very happy positive person. I went through a difficult divorce and thank God it’s over and in the past. I learned from it, and I’m back to being happy and positive.
People aren’t perfect. And it doesn’t make them bad people. You will never find a perfect person. I don’t understand why loving a person who makes mistakes is so hard for you. I suppose because their mistake makes you feel like it has something to do with who you are. But it doesn’t. That’s a lie the devil feeds us.

People sin. Love them anyways.
I don't think it's hard loving someone who has made a mistake but then again, it depends on the mistake
Numb26 is offline  
post #40 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 09:14 AM
Member
 
Adelais's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 3,704
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

No one made you come back here, much less did they make you start a thread. There has to be something in it for you.

Are you lonely in your new lifestyle? Are you seeking approval? Are you simply lashing out because you don't like how you feel?

You need counseling, bob. Your attitude/lifestyle is not sustainable in the long term. You are going to make yourself more miserable as you go down this path.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobsmith View Post
Man, I guess it is just boredom that brought me to revisting this site. I guess being mostly isolated from people now makes me appreciate the crap I don't have to endure. Nearly every post has to do with cheating, scandals, lack of sex, crappy sex, kid drama, in-law drama, etc, etc, etc. What the hell is wrong with people anymore? Just stumbled into the one on the men's page where the guy decided he needed to hook up with his
"10" and destroy his family.....so fun.....

I think I am starting to see why so many choose to escape life. The internet age has been a HUGE detriment to social society. Now "options" are just a tap away, but I guess the local watering hole is probably always full of "opportunities". I can't even point the finger at one sex, because both do the same thing.

If you need a "one stop shop" to promote complete isolation, this is it! It's like not even worth it. Find "the one" and sooner or later she will run off with "the next one" and you are back on the market, writing checks for kids that can't be cashed. What is the "American Dream" anymore?

All I have learned so far is people, be it man or woman, associate (at least with me) out of want or need. Men want to associate so you can provide "wing support" or information to help them in some way. Women are looking for a "partner" to write checks, hold hands, and be "the guy" until the next comes along.

So what is it about humanity that makes people here want to stay in this circle of constant drama?


Adelais is offline  
post #41 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 11:11 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 382
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Well I"m a bit unusual for this site in that I'm married happily for 25 years with no real troubles ever. I got married for a partner in life. That's also what I found. My husband doesn't go around trying to get into some young girls panties even though now that we are older and have more money he probably could attract a young replacement model. I also didn't marry my husband for money as you seem to imply so many women do. I can't argue that some don't.

I think more women though marry for a partnership and find themselves in an unhappy relationship. That partnership is often times a way to split work and family. The man is the provider and the woman takes over the household and child duties. This creates a dependence on the provider. Most the time this is a mutual agreement that both parties want as they feel raising children is better done by the actual parents and not the babysitter or random passing adult or the world. Often times the provider enjoys have a person to care for their child, clean the house, do the cooking and many other things. It is only when things go south that it all falls apart. The man often feels ripped off because by having a support person for his children he still has to support them. Or the woman feels abandoned because she now has x number of small children to raise on her own. The man can usually go out and find another woman because he has lots of leisure time and money while the woman has children at home and a hard time paying for all the bills associated with children. Things go wrong on both ends but while it does happen very few men want full custody.

Bob you have been hurt and I can tell you think your XW only wanted your money. You maybe right but your attitude on here seems like you are just objectifying women anyway. No woman wants that kind of relationship. Or those willing to accept a objectification of themselves does that for money. Perhaps if you actually viewed women as people all with their own feelings, personalities and such you wouldn't always end up with women who only put up with that crap for money.

I will say it's good you aren't looking for a relationship because you need to work through your issues and become a better person before attempting such again. Try volunteering at the animal shelter or the soup kitchen or something like that. One you'll mentally be better prepared to face the world after volunteering on a regular basis but you'll also meet some quality people to help inspire you about people in general.
Anastasia6 is offline  
post #42 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 12:16 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 7,259
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasia6 View Post
Well I"m a bit unusual for this site in that I'm married happily for 25 years with no real troubles ever. I got married for a partner in life. That's also what I found. My husband doesn't go around trying to get into some young girls panties even though now that we are older and have more money he probably could attract a young replacement model. I also didn't marry my husband for money as you seem to imply so many women do. I can't argue that some don't.

I think more women though marry for a partnership and find themselves in an unhappy relationship. That partnership is often times a way to split work and family. The man is the provider and the woman takes over the household and child duties. This creates a dependence on the provider. Most the time this is a mutual agreement that both parties want as they feel raising children is better done by the actual parents and not the babysitter or random passing adult or the world. Often times the provider enjoys have a person to care for their child, clean the house, do the cooking and many other things. It is only when things go south that it all falls apart. The man often feels ripped off because by having a support person for his children he still has to support them. Or the woman feels abandoned because she now has x number of small children to raise on her own. The man can usually go out and find another woman because he has lots of leisure time and money while the woman has children at home and a hard time paying for all the bills associated with children. Things go wrong on both ends but while it does happen very few men want full custody.

Bob you have been hurt and I can tell you think your XW only wanted your money. You maybe right but your attitude on here seems like you are just objectifying women anyway. No woman wants that kind of relationship. Or those willing to accept a objectification of themselves does that for money. Perhaps if you actually viewed women as people all with their own feelings, personalities and such you wouldn't always end up with women who only put up with that crap for money.

I will say it's good you aren't looking for a relationship because you need to work through your issues and become a better person before attempting such again. Try volunteering at the animal shelter or the soup kitchen or something like that. One you'll mentally be better prepared to face the world after volunteering on a regular basis but you'll also meet some quality people to help inspire you about people in general.
I really cant understand people who come out of bad relationships/marriages and then bitterly blame the WHOLE of the opposite sex for what ONE person did. Its a sure way to ensure that you don't move on or become healed enough to have another relationship.

I have never gone after a man for money either, and the women I know haven't either.
Diana7 is offline  
post #43 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 01:29 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,327
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Numb26 View Post
I don't think it's hard loving someone who has made a mistake but then again, it depends on the mistake


I agree with this. You need to have healthy boundaries and cut things loose if thatís what it calls for.

But for me, it helped me to realize that people do whatever they want to do and itís a reflection of who THEY are, and it has nothing to do with me. Some people make bad decisions. Everyone makes mistakes. People show you who they are and we choose to have a relationship with them or not.
Girl_power is offline  
post #44 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 01:33 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,327
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I really cant understand people who come out of bad relationships/marriages and then bitterly blame the WHOLE of the opposite sex for what ONE person did. Its a sure way to ensure that you don't move on or become healed enough to have another relationship.

I have never gone after a man for money either, and the women I know haven't either.


Heís bitter.

I would rather be ignorantly happy and hopeful and see the good in people then angry and bitter and alone.

Iíve always said if I get married and divorced again I will still want to get married again. I am a believer of love and marriage.
Girl_power is offline  
post #45 of 83 (permalink) Old 12-01-2019, 02:02 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 599
Re: What a bleak picture to relationships this forum brings....lol

No, lonely is not the word, bored is why I visited, and I mentioned that in my first post. Lonely implies seeking "somone" imo. I just find things to do. I think I mentioned here before that I get bored. Only responses were "do voluneer work" or "join a club".... I mostly stay busy fixing things for people for free.


I did not visit to "bash women". I have my own personal views of them, and I realize there are several anomalies that exist. I am certain I would just start a verbal fist fight for sharing my irrelevant views anyway.

What has occurred to me is all the extra time I have. I don't have to wipe child noses, take a woman to her 500 doctor appts, go to family functions, birthdays, etc, etc, etc. My god, I get stressed just thinking about it. Its funny when a friend says "oh we have 3 birthdays to get to today, and still have to get the grass mowed, what are you doing today?" I get to reply with "sleep most of the day, then maybe do a light jog with my dog"

I just don't think people today even see the bussle they try to handle on the daily, and for no real reason at all.

Though I have realized doing everything alone can suck, the alternative is be psycho busy with "life". I usually just need someone to hold something, a tape measure, or whatever. It crosses my mind when working by myself many miles from anyone. If something happens to me, I am pretty well screwed, but I guess life is a gamble. I think old age is what might pull people together most. You break a hip, you better have someone around to wipe your azz, or plenty of cash to hire that done..... I am just praying on family history that i don't have to ride the bull that long. grandpa died at 69.
bobsmith is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome