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post #76 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:03 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

In the end, I think it always hurts us when an ex starts seeing or has married someone else because it means that they have moved on from us. Just because it's tough for you now doesn't mean it will be tomorrow. But to me at least, if an ex is still in the picture, it's never a good sign. Try not to worry about him and move on with your life. There's always going to be somebody better out there.


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post #77 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:07 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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I just dont seem to fathom how doing courses on judaism or hatred against jewish people makes her a better candidate for him?
About her doing courses on Judaism - to a lot of people, having an understanding of their spouse's religion is very important because it informs much of their outlook on life, marriage and family. Her studying Judaism is a good thing.

I am baffled that you do not understand why he would not want to be with someone who hates Jewish people. He's Jewish.

Would you date someone how hates your race and/or religion?

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post #78 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:07 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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You seem to be missing the point.

He fell in love with her and spent a year "chasing her" as you put it. She didn't want him and sent him on his way. He did the sensible thing and, despite what he may have felt for her, moved on with his life. He dated you. It didn't work. They reconnected and it did work. That simple.
Or we could say that Mayfair was the rebound girl.
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post #79 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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You seem to be missing the point.

He fell in love with her and spent a year "chasing her" as you put it. She didn't want him and sent him on his way. He did the sensible thing and, despite what he may have felt for her, moved on with his life. He dated you. It didn't work. They reconnected and it did work. That simple.
She did want him but he created misunderstandings hence they failed. Which he said in the video. They had mutual attraction. I already mentioned this so I dont know where you are getting this from
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post #80 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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Or we could say that Mayfair was the rebound girl.
And how am I rebound? He chose to go to Catalonia. I'm Catalan. He knew me from before and that's how we connected, had sex and started dating
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post #81 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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About her doing courses on Judaism - to a lot of people, having an understanding of their spouse's religion is very important because it informs much of their outlook on life, marriage and family. Her studying Judaism is a good thing.

I am baffled that you do not understand why he would not want to be with someone who hates Jewish people. He's Jewish.

Would you date someone how hates your race and/or religion?
I never said I hated Jewish people. And if he was so proud then why stay with us. He willingly dated me knowing we were against israel and glossed over hatred towards Jews.
So it's his problem.
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post #82 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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You also said that you supported people who are anti-sematic. That goes beyond being anti-Israel and supporting BDS. You did not need to say anything about him going to synagogues. I knew what your thoughts are about it.

My bet is that he thought that he could have friends with your outlook on Israel and his religion. He might have been insecure. Or maybe he was trying to be open minded. He found that this did not work with him.

Since you two did not have arguments over anti-Israeli things, then you had arguments over things related to your relationship (I suppose). It sounds like you both found that you were not compatible. So, you two broke up. Thatís it. As someone else said, what he does in his life after you two broke up is none of your business. Iím not saying that to be mean. Iím saying it because you need to realize this for your own peace of mind.
Yeah I did that or our friends did support leaders who were antisemitic but he never claimed.
It was only when we broke up that his friendship with most of the group got a little cold. Because of the awkwardness of dating within the inner circle.

Can you tell me what are my thoughts on him going to synagogues?
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post #83 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:25 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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And how am I rebound? He chose to go to Catalonia. I'm Catalan. He knew me from before and that's how we connected, had sex and started dating
Rebound girl means that you were the placeholder until he decided what he wanted to do next. It usually happens after the guy just broke up with someone and hopes to get back with her.

It might be that the term is no longer in use.

Even though you chose to go to Catalan and he was part of the landscape there, you could have been doing something else. If you had known all along that he wanted to get back with this other woman, maybe you would have still gone out with him but not as often; or maybe with the mission to meet his friends or something else.

Imagine if you had missed a ski trip with your buddies because you had already promised to go back to Catalan when you said you would ...... now you have to settle for listening to your friends making references to that trip and ll the private jokes that came out while thinking about how that guy seeing at the time is nowhere now in your life.

Last edited by NextTimeAround; 12-08-2019 at 04:30 PM.
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post #84 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:41 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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She did want him but he created misunderstandings hence they failed. Which he said in the video. They had mutual attraction. I already mentioned this so I dont know where you are getting this from
Oh, good God, she clearly didn't want him or she wouldn't have told him to take himself on due to his attitude. I wasn't using want in the context of physical attraction, but in the context of a relationship.

Why are you doing Olympic level mental gymnastics to avoid facing the fact that he fell in love, she kicked him to the curb, he moved on with you, that didn't work, and they reconnected? It's not complicated and it's common. People fall in love every day, it doesn't work out, they decide not to spend their lives pining, and get on with dating and mating. No point to wallowing in love for someone who dumped you.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #85 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

Just because she wrote her thesis on hate against his country and religion makes her more suitable?

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post #86 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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Oh, good God, she clearly didn't want him or she wouldn't have told him to take himself on due to his attitude. I wasn't using want in the context of physical attraction, but in the context of a relationship.

Why are you doing Olympic level mental gymnastics to avoid facing the fact that he fell in love, she kicked him to the curb, he moved on with you, that didn't work, and they reconnected? It's not complicated and it's common. People fall in love every day, it doesn't work out, they decide not to spend their lives pining, and get on with dating and mating. No point to wallowing in love for someone who dumped you.
I wrote in my first post that it was MUTUAL FROM BOTH SIDES.

He messed up and escaped which he said in the video, not giving her a chance to clear the confusion.

Why is this so hard?
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post #87 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:47 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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Why is this so hard?
It's not. You're making it difficult by refusing to see the simple thing staring you in the face. He fell in love. It didn't work. He spent some time with you. He reconnected with the woman he loves. He married her. The end. Why was he with you when he loved her? Because he liked you and it was better than being alone.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #88 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

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It's not. You're making it difficult by refusing to see the simple thing staring you in the face. He fell in love. It didn't work. He spent some time with you. He reconnected with the woman he loves. He married her. The end. Why was he with you when he loved her? Because he liked you and it was better than being alone.
Do you think they were fated? Like really? Dont you think him suddenly going to catalonia and through his arrival there, getting together with me made more sense? In terms of fate ?
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post #89 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 05:03 PM
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Re: My boyfriend and his old crush?

OP is perma banned. She has another account taking about the same guy. That account is perma banned for name calling and insulting others. This thread is clearly moving in that direction.

.

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Last edited by EleGirl; 12-08-2019 at 05:10 PM.
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post #90 of 98 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 05:04 PM
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Re: Ex boyfriend got married?

OP, I am not so sure you don't have at least some feelings for him. I also do think that we, as in all of us simply have more interest in some people than we do others. It happens. I don't even think there is really any rhyme or reason to it. I can't answer if you were always second or if he really put his all into you when you were together, but for your own peace of mind, I'd say its irrelevant. He is happy with her, I say move on. Its never good to spend your thoughts on someone who isn't thinking about you.
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