Yea I think itís hard bc we are kind of raised or brainwashed as a society to expect men to ďmake the movesĒ. To ask us out, to plan dates, to propose marriage, to initiate the first kiss, to initiate sex. To lead or make decisions.
I am not going to plan a romantic date for my boyfriend. I think we are still expected to be woed. For the man to be the do-er.
Actually, sticking to the societal "brainwashing" has always worked well for me in the very, very, beginning of the getting to know each other phase. However, once it has been firmly established that you guys are a couple, either one can suggest things to do. The reason why I stuck with the pattern that we have been "brainwashed" by, is that men have also been brainwashed to view women who "chase" men as being desperate, undesirable, aggressive and/or masculine. Of course there are men who are exceptions, but not enough for me to break that pattern.
With my husband and I, (married nearly 3 years, not a first marriage for either one of us), we both like to do so much of the same stuff, that often we can't remember who's idea it was first. I'll go online to my FB page and see that he marked "Interested" in an event, so I'll mark "interested" as well, then share the event with him via messenger and add a note saying something like "Would you like to be my date for this concert ? " with a smiley face. Later on, he might say that this was a good idea I had, and I'll say, that I saw that he marked "interested" and he won't remember. (We are both senior citizens, not remembering stuff is a regular feature of our life
) Very often we both spontaneously come up with an idea. We were at a "2nd Saturday" in our neighborhood, went inside the performing arts center, and were both looking at the posters for upcoming stage productions. We both pointed out the upcoming productions we would like to see. So who should be considered the "initiator" of those outings ?
If you are still in the courtship phase, and this guy is initiating dates frequently, I think it's OK to stick with that. Once coupledom has been established, the by all means make suggestions. The longer you are together, the better feel you will have for what kind of outings you would both enjoy together. With my hubby, I know if I suggest live music, live stage play or a local dive bar to hang out at, he will enthusiastically agree to go and we will have a blast. Any road trip to any where, he will be on board with. However, if I want to go to an art museum or the ballet, then I know that is a girl's night out . . . If he wants to go on a river trip with his buddies then I know I have a week or two of doing girls night out with girlfriends. At this point, we both share the planning of our activities and dates.