Re: I want kids, he doesnít.
Iím sorry that you find yourself in the situation that youíre in. Thatís a hard place to be.
First off, donít ever assume anything. When your husband brought up baby names, Iím not sure what his intentions were, but it was confusing to you. He let you know early on that he leaned towards not having kids, so that was your answer back then. You should have listened to him because kids are a huge decision that people generally donít waver on once decided.
If you guys canít come to an agreement on this, or one of you guys change their mind, I really donít see how this will work. You want to be a Mom, if you give in to him and shelve the plan, youíll resent him. If he changes his mind and agrees to have a baby, he will end up resenting you. Either way isnít good, so itís kind of a lose-lose situation you guys are in.
I know your pain, as I also want to be a Mom. I was also in a toxic marriage that I didnít feel comfortable bringing a child into. Iím now divorced at 41, and will never have a biological child, and that sucks. However, I was also once like your husband, and didnít want kids, ever. I was one of the oddballs who changed their minds, but it just happened too late. If you want to be a Mom, and the desire is strong, you need to get to the bottom of this with your husband. If his mindset is set, then you have some hard decisions to make.