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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 07:09 AM Thread Starter
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We all know how online dating is and how it can be exhausting at times. I notice the same circle of men when I occasionally get on to browse. Not often, but I tend to see the same men. Maybe its ike that for men as well.

My question is why do men tend to get back online immediately after a break up? Is it to get laid? Ego stroke or just in general to browse and see if anything has changed?

For me- it’s been to see if anything has changed and out of boredom. I may get a few messages then I quickly remember why I don’t get on lol.

But for men, what’s your main reason for jumping on right after a breakup?

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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 07:28 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

Could it be that it becomes habit, like always returning to TAM?

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 08:08 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

It's all of the above but I think it just becomes a habit. Post break-up some people just can't imagine being alone and they're on the hunt again.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 08:32 AM
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Cool Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

Loneliness is an awfully ugly animal! No one in their right mind would ever willingly embrace it!

I think it's rather safe to say that for most folks, both men and women, that it's not to get a quick lay; because the vast majority would rather do such an activity with a reciprocal relationship connection with someone whom they trust, care for and/or cherish, much rather than with just some random piece of flesh!

Regarding the OLD activity, I think that they are driven to see who's there and if there is any hope or real possibility for an eventual connection.

In my dotage, I know that I am far more discerning about who it is whom I want to date, as I foremostly crave the attention of someone who is attractive, while at the same time also possesses those similar psychological attributes that closely match mine!

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 08:40 AM
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Browsing online dating sites takes zero effort and can be a form of entertainment. Since most are using smart phones anytime you have five minutes to spare you can look at profiles.

If you just got out of a relationship and get back on dating sites obviously there wasn't much of an emotional investment in the relationship.
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 09:23 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

Possibly to seek a quick ego boost? To verify they are still desirable?

I'm probably not going to be able to help here. Never done online dating and can't imagine myself ever doing it.

Too many interesting people I meet in real life anyway.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 09:33 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue4473 View Post
We all know how online dating is and how it can be exhausting at times. I notice the same circle of men when I occasionally get on to browse. Not often, but I tend to see the same men. Maybe its ike that for men as well.

My question is why do men tend to get back online immediately after a break up? Is it to get laid? Ego stroke or just in general to browse and see if anything has changed?

For me- itís been to see if anything has changed and out of boredom. I may get a few messages then I quickly remember why I donít get on lol.

But for men, whatís your main reason for jumping on right after a breakup?

Why not? Not getting any younger.

Why do people monkey-branch?
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 12:37 PM
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-12-2020, 11:52 PM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

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Originally Posted by Sue4473 View Post
We all know how online dating is
Actually, I don't know.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 06:57 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

I've not done OLD but I've read a good bit about it as I've been going through my separation and divorce. Statistically, on swiping platforms like Tinder, an average guy gets one match per 80-100 swipes. If I wanted to start dating, I would probably get on the app(s) weeks or months before I wanted to actually have a date so I could get some of the rejection out of the way.

People that do public speaking sometimes do things like practicing in front of a mirror and, with search type apps like Match, you can look at and read profiles, think about how you might approach them, and what you might want to propose as activities as preparation for 'real' dating.

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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 07:30 AM
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All of the above reasons. Everyone is different.
I always wanted to see who was “on the market “ You know, see who is single and looking. Also looking for women local that I might already know.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 08:33 AM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

They know what kind of women are on dating apps.
And they are lazy and horny.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 05:22 AM Thread Starter
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Yes I can’t tell you how many I see that come back and text me and I’ve fallen for it. 🤨 then I see them on the dating site.
Just a quick fix to get laid. When a lot of these men probably had good women to do that with.

Ugh it’s weird and kind of sad.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 12:54 PM
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Re: Question for men- women can chime in as well!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue4473 View Post
We all know how online dating is and how it can be exhausting at times. I notice the same circle of men when I occasionally get on to browse. Not often, but I tend to see the same men. Maybe its ike that for men as well.

My question is why do men tend to get back online immediately after a break up? Is it to get laid? Ego stroke or just in general to browse and see if anything has changed?

For me- itís been to see if anything has changed and out of boredom. I may get a few messages then I quickly remember why I donít get on lol.

But for men, whatís your main reason for jumping on right after a breakup?
It depends.

If I've mentally or emotionally checked out a long time ago, moving on right away might be ok. Not that this is a good relationship strategy.

If I'm really hurting, sometimes distracting yourself with other women works. Not that it's OK to use other people like that, so be clear where you're at.

If my ego is really bruised because I got dumped or cheated on, realizing that other people actually want you can help. Again, be clear with those other people where you're at.

If the relationship was sexless, then yes getting laid might be a very high priority.

Not sure what you're looking for here. I don't think any of this is any different for women.
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