Thanks guys. Good responses here. And to the once giving encouragement I super thank you and the warm welcome too.
When I reflect back I see her total kindness. But when things we're bad I see nothing but the evil come out. She even prides herself by saying "I know I can be a total B****" or things like " I know I'm very hard to deal with".
She believes if she's upset she can take it out on a man like slap him and he is supposed to in her words " take it like a man". And she would yell her lungs out in arguments and when I would say I don't appreciate or want us to yell especially Infront of the kids she would say I'm trying to restrict her. That that is how she knows how to let go of her anger.
I have considered if she is boderline.
The way she sees me as all bad now makes me tend to think she had BPD.
Her sister does have a mental issue and is confined sometimes and so did her late grandma.
I love her and wish I could resolve issues. She has done a lot for me and I in part didn't live up to her expectations. She receives counsel from her girlfriends who I don't like. She even told me one of them had been urging her to get rid of me.
I'm receiving 60 percent pay as I'm sick. Short term disability. We have an acct I put money into. When she told me recently she needed some things I told her sure go ahead but kindly use that much not more. As I still have bills too.
I was yelled at about not being a man. Nickle and diming. How when she had she gave to me without question etc. I told her I'm not saying that cause I want to deny her things. I'm in essence saying use wisely. Eg get.diapers and wipes but don't exceed this amount and since next week I'm getting another check, then next time you can get more baby stuff etc.
She then proceeds to use 150$ extra. I'm getting a separate account.
I'll forever be reminded how when I was down she did for me. It's always thrown in my face. And all her family and friends are told that.
Her family even told me that that is her house and not mine. I refused the disrespectful insults and left.
She is now struggling financially and with the weight of 3 kids and a home. She's told me that. But she wants to carry on living apart. She's told me not to contact her again till I get better and back to work where I can be able to go over there and pick up the baby and give her some rest. I agree with that. She's frustrated. She's scared. She's pregnant. Etc. I'm not making excuses. In my view her friends do her no justice.
You sound very young or immature, not sure which.
Why would you get involved with someone who has so many kids with different men, that was already a red red flag!
The fact she can scream and shout and hit you, is another red flag
She don't bother to bring your kid to see you, another red flag
you throwing yourself at her feet and looking for her attention, another red flag.
Man up for goodness sake. She doesn't love you the way you love her
Are you married? I hope note
Best thing you can do is get yourself fully recovered
Seek legal counsel to determine your rights as a father
Get yourself back to work and aim to support your kids and get access to them
Stop pining for her, she may have treated you well at one point but seems as soon as you left, she has forgotten you. YOu need to take back control. Go no contact and do the 180 on her
No ex brother in law will do all that work for nothing, you have every right to be suspicious