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post #16 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 10:57 PM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

Even if the daughter moved out the problem is still there. The fact is that this man thinks its acceptable
to use porn to fantasise about his step daughter, and she must feel so uncomfortable around him now whether
that is living there or visiting. The mum isn't doing enough to protect her daughter and granddaughter and she may well loose them.
Sorry but their safety and well being is paramount. The mother is abdicating her responsibility by withdrawing and wanting them to work it out. The daughter will always feel very uncomfortable with him now not surprisingly and so would I.

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post #17 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 11:23 PM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by MZMEE View Post
Ok here is a situation.

... overheard him playing out a perverted act using her name while watching porn.
Please note the OP does not say the husband was fantasizing ABOUT HER. Rather, he was watching his brand of porn and chose her NAME while watching.

OP uses the term ďperverted actĒ but we donít know what it was...so it could have just been spanking the monkey (some folks think thatís perverted).

So to jump to assumptions isnít necessary. Heís allowed his kink in the privacy of his own home. It could well be he was watching a porn with a girl named ďBrandyĒ and step-Dís name also happens to be Brandy. See what I mean?


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post #18 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 06:01 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
How do we know that? Porn is usually about what people look like, not what name they call each other. The name could have easily been a coincidence.
"2. The mom confronted the husband and first he acted outraged and defensive because he felt like it's his house and he didn't think anyone was up."

This is how we know he's sorry he got caught. This is how we know he isn't sorry he used her name, image, whatever.

And, he didn't think anyone was up; so, no harm and no foul - right?

If a person has to have their arm twisted to offer an apology, it isn't an apology - it's an appeasement.

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post #19 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:33 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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"2. The mom confronted the husband and first he acted outraged and defensive because he felt like it's his house and he didn't think anyone was up."



This is how we know he's sorry he got caught. This is how we know he isn't sorry he used her name, image, whatever.



And, he didn't think anyone was up; so, no harm and no foul - right?



If a person has to have their arm twisted to offer an apology, it isn't an apology - it's an appeasement.
Which again, proves nothing more than he was caught.

If you can discern what specifically he was defensive over (beyond simply being caught), then your ESP is clearly better than mine.

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post #20 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:38 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by MZMEE View Post
Ok here is a situation.

A husband has a porn addiction. It's pretty perverted but it's all fantasy during that time. The 30 year old step-daughter happen to get up in the morning to use the bathroom and overheard him playing out a perverted act using her name while watching porn. She was utterly disgusted. The daughter is living with him and her mom, with her young daughter til she gets a job so all are living in the same house and this happens.

What kind of advise can I give all involved? Here is how it played out and where things are so far:

1. The daughter went and told her mom out of disgust.
2. The mom confronted the husband and first he acted outraged and defensive because he felt like it's his house and he didn't think anyone was up. I think he was just embarrassed so he reacted.
3. The daughter got upset with the mom because she felt this is where she should draw the line and divorce him, but the mom said she didn't like that this happend but they have been working thru it.
4. After everything calmed down, the husband did approach the daughter and apologized sincerely.
5. The daughter is just disgusted and doesn't want anything to do with him anymore so now they just don't speak and she won't even let her 1 year old daughter around him.
6. The mother has pretty much backed away and let them work it out because she says she doesn't know what else to say about it.

Any thoughts?
Using her name? That's inappropriate at the very minimum and possibly worse.

Her mother is desperate to keep him. So desperate that she is risking her relationships with her daughter and her grandchild.

Daughter should remove herself and her child from this toxic environment ASAP.


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post #21 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:41 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

OP, did your friend tell you what he apologized for?
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post #22 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:42 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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but asking your mom to divorce the man?
I can't even see how that had to be a question. My husband wanking it and saying my adult daughter's name would be enough for me to walk.

Coincidence? Awful HUGE coincidence.

Private fantasy? Ok, but still a permanent complete turn off. Feel free to fantasize about whatever you like as a single man.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #23 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattMatt View Post

Using her name? That's inappropriate at the very minimum and possibly worse.

Her mother is desperate to keep him. So desperate that she is risking her relationships with her daughter and her grandchild.

Daughter should remove herself and her child from this toxic environment ASAP.
That's exactly what it sounds like to me.
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post #24 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 08:56 AM
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@MZMEE I think it would be helpful to know whether or not the daughter's name is a common one or not.

It's difficult for me to feel anything but disgust at the step dad in your story but that's because I have a unique name and it's impossible for me to not think he was fantasizing about his step daughter.
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post #25 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 09:16 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by MZMEE View Post
Ok here is a situation.

A husband has a porn addiction. It's pretty perverted but it's all fantasy during that time. The 30 year old step-daughter happen to get up in the morning to use the bathroom and overheard him playing out a perverted act using her name while watching porn. She was utterly disgusted. The daughter is living with him and her mom, with her young daughter til she gets a job so all are living in the same house and this happens.

What kind of advise can I give all involved? Here is how it played out and where things are so far:

1. The daughter went and told her mom out of disgust.
2. The mom confronted the husband and first he acted outraged and defensive because he felt like it's his house and he didn't think anyone was up. I think he was just embarrassed so he reacted.
3. The daughter got upset with the mom because she felt this is where she should draw the line and divorce him, but the mom said she didn't like that this happend but they have been working thru it.
4. After everything calmed down, the husband did approach the daughter and apologized sincerely.
5. The daughter is just disgusted and doesn't want anything to do with him anymore so now they just don't speak and she won't even let her 1 year old daughter around him.
6. The mother has pretty much backed away and let them work it out because she says she doesn't know what else to say about it.

Any thoughts?
Hopefully she can get on her feet quickly and get her little child out of the house.

She is doing good to keep clear of him until she can get out. He needs professional help.

I would be enraged if I was the mother here and my jack off excuse for a husband was living out perverted fantasies about my daughter.

Very sick.

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post #26 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 09:44 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

Ok. She should get a dummy of some sort and, when she knows her lovely step dad can overhear, start living out an ultra violent torture/murder fantasy of a sex pervert that just happens to have his name.

Just a coincidence........ I'm sure he'll understand.
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post #27 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 10:12 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
Which again, proves nothing more than he was caught.

If you can discern what specifically he was defensive over (beyond simply being caught), then your ESP is clearly better than mine.

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post #28 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 10:19 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Ok. She should get a dummy of some sort and, when she knows her lovely step dad can overhear, start living out an ultra violent torture/murder fantasy of a sex pervert that just happens to have his name.

Just a coincidence........ I'm sure he'll understand.
A couple of goons in the flesh named Big Bubba and Big Bubba, Jr. would enhance that fantasy.

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post #29 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 10:58 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

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Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
"2. The mom confronted the husband and first he acted outraged and defensive because he felt like it's his house and he didn't think anyone was up."

This is how we know he's sorry he got caught. This is how we know he isn't sorry he used her name, image, whatever.

And, he didn't think anyone was up; so, no harm and no foul - right?

If a person has to have their arm twisted to offer an apology, it isn't an apology - it's an appeasement.
Ya, he got caught masturbating by a nosy adult stepdaughter.

I would have reacted the same way.

The core issue here is: was he doing it while fantasizing about the stepdaughter? If so, I agree that it's gross and he's the problem. If he wasn't, than I think the stepdaughter is the problem.

I have never had a fantasy related to a person's name, ever. And I have quite a rich fantasy life.
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post #30 of 131 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 11:21 AM
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Re: Oldest daughter heard him on Porn

Oh man, I'm going to regret this, but what the hell.

The stepdaughter isn't a pre-pubescent 10 year old. She's 30. If her stepfather is fantasizing about her, it's one adult fantasizing about another adult to whom he is not related.

All of you stepmoms with teenage stepsons who find this nauseating? Don't ever ask for a sincere accounting of your stepson's fantasy life. You might not recover.
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