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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 06:09 PM
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Re: Where did he go?

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
I totally get what you're saying. I mean, when I was dating I once had a woman plan out our impending marriage 20 minutes into our first date. That's way too bought in!

But with my wife, the first time I kissed her, her response was "more." And then we spent the next two weeks together basically non-stop. I guess that's what I mean.
I had a few guys get ridiculously possessive on dates 1 or 2. Calling me their girlfriend without that ever having been discussed, etc. For me, that's way too bought in and my cue to exit, stage left. I'd call the mental ward for someone talking marriage on date 1 or 2.

First date with DH, though, I admit he started to kiss me and I forgot where we were for a few hours. Thankfully, it was a goth/techno club where couples making out was extremely common. It wasn't until I started unbuttoning his shirt that I came to my senses. He didn't put out til our 3rd date because he was playing hard to get in hopes I'd keep him. Three weeks later, after spending a LOT of time together in person and on the phone, we were..uhh...well, sort of arguing on our way to that same club. Voices were being raised and passions were high. He said, at the end of a point he was loudly making, "Don't you know how much I love you?" And I yelled back "Yeah, well, I love you, too."

Before that, I'd have said that was waaaay too bought in at 3 weeks. Yet, there we were and here we are 20 years later.


Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 06:11 PM
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Ghosting doesn't exist unless it's an actual relationship.
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 09:15 PM
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Re: Where did he go?

Let him chase you. If he wants you he will come get you.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 10:06 PM
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Re: Where did he go?

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So for a short stint I went out with someone and it didnít work out. Nothing bad happened.... just another one that seemed like he didnít want the same thing I wanted. Even though he stated he did Iím beginning.

I heard that he was going out with someone new ( we have mutual friends) so ok I was bummed, but nonetheless whenever he works text I congratulated him etc.

I obviously never heard from him while he was going out with her. But recently he has got Im contact again. Nothing major just normal chat. He never told me but I put 2 n 2 together and figured that he broken up or was broken up with- hence the texting again.

I enjoyed our friendship and going out. I guess I wouldnít mind giving it a second go if he was maybe ready this time?

But I havenít heard from him since. I did text a week ago saying that I hope all is well and that if he wanted to chat that he could. But nothing
I just think itís weird how he contacted me then poof. Maybe heís heartbroken and still licking his wounds?
My take, he is hedging his bets and you are the runner up (sorry).

The life you have, is the life you create
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 07:18 AM
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Re: Where did he go?

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Thankfully, it was a goth/techno club
Oh I think I love you.
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-18-2020, 03:51 PM
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Re: Where did he go?

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Oh I think I love you.
I still have the black velour dress I was wearing the day we met and again on our first date.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-20-2020, 09:36 PM
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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-20-2020, 09:42 PM
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Re: Where did he go?

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
I had a few guys get ridiculously possessive on dates 1 or 2. Calling me their girlfriend without that ever having been discussed, etc. For me, that's way too bought in and my cue to exit, stage left. I'd call the mental ward for someone talking marriage on date 1 or 2.

First date with DH, though, I admit he started to kiss me and I forgot where we were for a few hours. Thankfully, it was a goth/techno club where couples making out was extremely common. It wasn't until I started unbuttoning his shirt that I came to my senses. He didn't put out til our 3rd date because he was playing hard to get in hopes I'd keep him. Three weeks later, after spending a LOT of time together in person and on the phone, we were..uhh...well, sort of arguing on our way to that same club. Voices were being raised and passions were high. He said, at the end of a point he was loudly making, "Don't you know how much I love you?" And I yelled back "Yeah, well, I love you, too."

Before that, I'd have said that was waaaay too bought in at 3 weeks. Yet, there we were and here we are 20 years later.
I love, love, love this story.

Thanks for this.
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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 07:54 AM
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Re: Where did he go?

Ugh.

Stop allowing yourself to be some kind of back-up plan for this ass-clown whenever he finds himself without someone to date. Obviously, he comes sniffing around when he has no other dating options, but then the second someone DOES comes along, you become old news and he suddenly can't be bothered to talk to you anymore.

Why on earth would you allow yourself to be disrespected that way?

Once you start seeing your worth, you'll find it harder to stay around people who don't.
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