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post #46 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 10:09 AM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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I'll be brutally honest.

I find tattoos and piercings beyond trashy and would never, EVER allow any of that on my body. Even in my 30's I found it incredibly trashy when women first started sporting tattoos on their ankles or hips and I couldn't even imagine doing that to myself.

My husband is the same way. He finds nothing attractive about a woman walking around with tattoos all over random parts of her body or beads or rings or pins stuck in various body parts. He finds it as repugnant as I do.

Yeah yeah yeah...everyone's showing their 'individuality.' I don't need to ruin the landscape of my body to show my individuality.

So the answer is, I avoided people who look like comic book characters with their 'individuality' drawn all over them or pierced through their skin. That's just the plain truth. And that's why I don't have to deal with it NOW, because I've always avoided that look.

Yeah....I can display my individuality with earrings or a new top. I don't need to write on or pierce my body.

Well, except my pierced ears....but I only have one hole in each

I dislike tattoos intensely....neither my guy or I have any.

And the face piercings are the worst...it's so distracting to try to look at someone with them. I used to know a guy who had a tongue ring and you couldn't even talk to him because he played with it constantly and it banged against his teeth.

Gross.

I've also never understood the big fake boobs. Back when I was heavier I had big ones and hated them. Lost a bit of weight and they shrunk to 34B+ and I'm quite happy with that.

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post #47 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 10:21 AM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

But that goes without saying, it does matter what the other spouse think's. My wife got her beautiful beautiful long hair cut short. To my displeasure 15 yrs ago. But to say honesty seeing her in bed in are romantic and love making moments with her hair flowing like to me " Wow, l can't believe l have this goddess with me how damn lucky l am" and then it got cut and now it definitely is not the same and is truly nowhere as it once was.

Does she know this yes, but no charge because she justify's her needs above ours. It's doesn't take away what she still is but in my mind it does. So these small things are what adds to the disliking and seems to gain momentum in our daily interactions, and builds barriers that carry over and build and build.

So it may not be mentioned anymore but "l" know it plays a big part in our relationship. Why it's because l was removed from consideration.

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post #48 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 10:27 AM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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I've also never understood the big fake boobs.
Neither have I... I hate them, together with lip piercing and face/neck tattoos...
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post #49 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 10:41 AM
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Call me old fashioned or uptight, but tattoos and body piercing to me is a sign of being crass; lacking finesse, and being just plain common.

When I was growing up tattoos/piercings were signs of being a low life, convicts/prostitutes. Times certainly have changed and are socially acceptable nowadays; but it's also a sign of how common people are becoming.

Personally, I never did nor I would consider anything with a tattooed/pierced female. My daughters although both over 20, know that while living in my house they are not allowed to tattoo/pierce their body, if they do, they're immediately out my house. So far, so good.
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post #50 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

The breast augmentation she got was a work of art. She isn't overly big, just bigger than Kristen Stewart in Underwater which I really liked because it was her.

If she had met me with bigger breasts I'm sure they would be what I preferred.
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post #51 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 01:13 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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Why? What's the point in that? What is Conan going to do if she says "tough"? Why risk it? What's the point in making his wife unhappy? Is it that important?
I don't know. I'm operating from my POV. I'd want to know. I want my H to be attracted to me and if it's something that's not super important to me, that info from him would help me in making my decision.

That said, I have a nose ring AND red hair, yall! Oh! And 2 tattoos!

Some (notice I said "some") of you are some judgey mofos. Tsk tsk.

ETA: @Blondilocks no shade thrown at your dearly departed H even though I mentioned red hair.

Last edited by lucy999; 01-21-2020 at 01:22 PM.
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post #52 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 01:55 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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I don't know. I'm operating from my POV. I'd want to know. I want my H to be attracted to me and if it's something that's not super important to me, that info from him would help me in making my decision.

That said, I have a nose ring AND red hair, yall! Oh! And 2 tattoos!

Some (notice I said "some") of you are some judgey mofos. Tsk tsk.

ETA: @Blondilocks no shade thrown at your dearly departed H even though I mentioned red hair.
Out of curiosity Lucy, what kind of nose ring? A stud type or hoop? Full on Dennis Rodman?
Also tats and locations?

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post #53 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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I don't know. I'm operating from my POV. I'd want to know. I want my H to be attracted to me and if it's something that's not super important to me, that info from him would help me in making my decision.

That said, I have a nose ring AND red hair, yall! Oh! And 2 tattoos!

Some (notice I said "some") of you are some judgey mofos. Tsk tsk.

ETA: @Blondilocks no shade thrown at your dearly departed H even though I mentioned red hair.
Yeah. Didn't want to start a like or dislike thread lucy. I'm positive you rock it!

My son's fiance has large, very beautiful, tattoos on her arms, torso and legs and a small nose ring as well. She is a beautiful girl and Mrs. C and I love her.

I'm just wondering about spouses and SO's doing things with their bodies that you definitely don't find attractive and if so, how it was handled.

Got a lot of good ideas so far.

Last edited by ConanHub; 01-21-2020 at 02:43 PM.
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post #54 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:26 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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Originally Posted by lucy999 View Post
I don't know. I'm operating from my POV. I'd want to know. I want my H to be attracted to me and if it's something that's not super important to me, that info from him would help me in making my decision.

That said, I have a nose ring AND red hair, yall! Oh! And 2 tattoos!

Some (notice I said "some") of you are some judgey mofos. Tsk tsk.

ETA: @Blondilocks no shade thrown at your dearly departed H even though I mentioned red hair.
He actually liked red hair - just not on me. I'm sure you look beautiful with all of your additions.

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post #55 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:26 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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-Leviticus 19:28-”You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord.”

Run the risk of MRSA,hep b,hep c

I think it often detracts from a person's looks.
tj: That law only pertains to Hebrews (Jews), not pagans. Many people get tattoos for the dead (to remember or honor a loved one) but not all are for that reason. Most people have tattoos because they think they look good, or represent something. Most people don't cut themselves to memorialize the dead, however. As for Christians, Jesus died for all those laws, and the only "sign" we have that we are God's is our belief in Jesus and indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Personally, I don't like tattoos, or cutting scars, so I'm not defending them, just clarifying that Scripture only applies to Hebrews cutting their skin and getting tattoos specifically to honor the dead.

tj over

Nose rings are very distracting to me. They remind me of pigs or bulls...seriously. I have no idea why people would want to do something to do to themselves that is done to pigs to keep them from rooting, or bulls to make them easier to handle. Even so, I wouldn't take away another person's right to wear a nose ring.

Conan, I'm sorry your wife did that despite knowing that you wouldn't like it. Is she taking you and the security of your marriage for granted? Is she pushing the boundaries? Are you sure it is related to your accident?

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post #56 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:38 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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Nose rings are very distracting to me. They remind me of pigs or bulls...seriously. I have no idea why people would want to do something to do to themselves that is done to pigs to keep them from rooting, or bulls to make them easier to handle. Even so, I wouldn't take away another person's right to wear a nose ring.
I spent lots of time growing up on a farm. I can handle the nose piercings, sometimes they even look good.

But the whole bull-nose thing I don't like. I see that on a woman, and I instantly think of a cow, because that's what they were used for. Maybe that's just me.
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post #57 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:39 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

One thing I find lacking in many body alterations is a consideration for basic aesthetics with regards to a harmonious visual appearance. Quite often, the modification stands out in a negative way because it's not in harmony with the shape and appearance of the body. Someone may have a beautiful tattoo, but the placement is such that it's visibly jarring. It would be like having a beautiful picture hung in strange place on the wall and hanging crooked. There's a visual discord that makes me think it looks odd regardless of whether the actual modification is beautiful or not.

A strange effect of this is that I often think full sleeves look better than a single tattoo. A full sleeve has a more cohesive appearance compared to a single tattoo. The single tattoo often is a point of focus, but visually it may seem like a smudge or something that doesn't belong. A full sleeve taking up the whole arm has a less jarring appearance.

While I generally don't like most body modifications, I would prefer a modification which had a harmonious appearance rather than a jarring one. That may mean I'll may find something like lots of piercings in a semicircle along the neck as attractive, but a single piercing in an off-center place as unattractive. But I'll find the person with no piercings most attractive of all.
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post #58 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 02:51 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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Out of curiosity Lucy, what kind of nose ring? A stud type or hoop? Full on Dennis Rodman?
Also tats and locations?
Haha. Very small hoop. But I'm picky so I had it custom made so there's no space between the hoop and the inside of the nostril. So its really not a "hoop" per se. All you see is a sliver of silver on the outside of my nostril. I think it's beautiful.

Two of those very hated ankle tats. Lol. I realize its sooo cliche. But I love them. One on each ankle. One is very pretty flowers and the other an Egyptian eye. I'd love to get more, but I work for the 2nd highest court in my state. So that wouldn't be cool. They are easily hidden.

Ok sorry for the TJ! Back to regularly scheduled programming.
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post #59 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 03:32 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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I probably shouldn't say this; but, you know me. Older women sporting nose rings, lip rings, eyebrow rings etc. look like they are trying too hard to be young.
Agreed.

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post #60 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 04:04 PM
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Re: Coping with a partner's body alterations/piercings/tattoos

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But that goes without saying, it does matter what the other spouse think's. My wife got her beautiful beautiful long hair cut short. To my displeasure 15 yrs ago. But to say honesty seeing her in bed in are romantic and love making moments with her hair flowing like to me " Wow, l can't believe l have this goddess with me how damn lucky l am" and then it got cut and now it definitely is not the same and is truly nowhere as it once was.

Does she know this yes, but no charge because she justify's her needs above ours. It's doesn't take away what she still is but in my mind it does. So these small things are what adds to the disliking and seems to gain momentum in our daily interactions, and builds barriers that carry over and build and build.

So it may not be mentioned anymore but "l" know it plays a big part in our relationship. Why it's because l was removed from consideration.

Do you feel that your wife cutting her hair represented something deeper going on in the marriage, and maybe that's what triggers you? (besides the fact that you're not physically attracted to her short hair as much as her long hair)

I wonder if her cutting her hair makes you feel like your opinions don't matter?

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