I am a 37 year old truck driver and lately I have been quite concerned about my life and what the future holds me.
But before I get to that, I will share some things about my life first. I grew up during the war and had a tough childhood.
How old were you when you left this place?
Would you mind sharing which country you lived in as a child? It might help us understand your situation better.
I lived in Ethiopia during the civil. We left when I was eleven years old. Having experience something similar I understand some of the war in your original country has affected you. You most likely have some level of PTSD. I do. Even though I left when I was 11 years old, I still have some issues with it… and I’m 70 now. The effects of war can stay with you for a life time.
Have you ever sought any counseling to help you explore why you isolate yourself from people? It’s probably a protective mechanism. If you can address this, you might find it much easier to meet and interact with people on a personal level.
My question is - do you think I should try online dating? I am thinking about it but I am not sure how it'll work out. 37 year old virgin male who never had friends or girlfriends - isn't that what will possibly turn women away? Not to mention my childhood and current occupation. It seems I have all these things working against me. Women may think that I am mentally unstable or even a creep of some sorts.
I don’t think that at this time online dating is a good idea for you. Online dating is a very harsh environment. A lot of people have problems dealing with it.
Instead what I suggest is that you start out just meeting people in situations that make it easy to start building friendships with both men and women. There is a website that I’ve used, it’s https://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/
The site has all sorts of “meetups”. For example, here where I live there are probably a few hundred meetups doing things like hiking, white water rafting, book clubs, dinner meetups… well the list of topics is really long.
Look on there for something that you would enjoy and then just go to it. There will be both men and women who attend the meetups. Start growing your social circle. This way you can ease into getting to know a few women and hopefully find one who you can form a relationship with.
But don’t just do this for forming relationships with women. Build your social circle to include some male friends too.
Your special circumstances would be much easier to talk about with someone who you meet on a casual basis such as through a meetup. You could start by just talking about where you lived as a child, your moving to your new country and well… just talk about your life. That way if you find a woman you want to date, you will have the laid the groundwork to tell her ‘the rest of the story’ that you have never dated or been with a woman, etc. A friend, someone who has grown to care for you, is much more likely to be understanding of your unique circumstances.
What is your social life like right now?
Do you have extended family that you socialize with?