Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: The Land of Y'all
IMO: Valentine's Day causes performance anxiety in both male and female folks. Be sincere and honest. Be considerate. Say/write what is truth to you. Men want to be appreciated. Women want to be loved--at the minimum.
To me something involving good memories is more valuable than gold. This is not the time for a command performance, but just a genuine extra demonstration of affection.
Often folks expect what happened in a family of origin situation. My folks adored each other all their lives. This was an actual legacy of what might have been.
My ex made it clear that he thought our marriage was a mistake early on--any Valentine's Day expression from him was so that he could be admired by others. I've seen this addressed above here--sounds and is painful.
I know who loves me and who does not. I know who appreciates me and who does not. It is nice to get extra attention whether or not you 'know' it. A homemade coupon for a massage, for time off the usual grind, there are inexpensive ways to create a special feeling.
Calling V-Day a stupid day--It was often painful for me, I have no SO and expect nothing. But to me, this day is more about transmitting feelings than actions.