Hi! Hoping to get some advice here. My guy (34) and I (31) have been together for 2.5 years. We were both recently divorced when we met. We are aligned on many important things, we have gone over each other’s love languages. We have mutual love and respect for each other, we are great at communicating, listening. While of course, the relationship has imperfections, I couldn’t think up a more suitable person for me.
ANYWAY, there is one big hang up with us. He grew up in a practicing Christian household. I grew up in a “yeah, there’s a God, and when we die we go to heaven” household. That was it. He’s expressed a level of doubt in his Christianity (and through most of his teen/adult years) and has decided that it’s his duty to explore it and decide for himself how important faith is to him, and what he believes when it comes to Christianity.
Important part: He said that IF he comes to these conclusions that Christianity, he may need to be with someone who’s on the same page as him. (Or pretty close) important for kids, life, work, all of these areas.
Now, I’ve been supportive. We’ve been going to church on sundays, we’ve been checking different ones out, talking about it, reading about it. I’m trying my best to be open to it all, to express my thoughts on it. But again, it’s never been a huge part of my life, so it’s not as “gripping” if you will. I do enjoy going to church, and learning, I just don’t feel as “moved” by it as I think I’m supposed to.
So basically we’re deciding if we can be together or not based on his exploration of faith. It’s tough though! I don’t know if we should cut it off so that he can focus on it more.... or take a break.... I want to get married and have a family with this man. But he wants to have all of his ducks in a row before we get married. (Smart guy) but for me, I’ve got my ducks all lined up and I’m ready to roll!
I don’t know if spending time apart would give him more time to explore this, and think about it. Or if it’s important that we do this together even if it takes years and years.
Any advice, thoughts. I don’t want to rush him, because I think that would be selfish and I do think he’s right, we need to get this sorted out. He said if we do get married in the future he just wants us to have the best odds of success.
Thank you in advice.
Last edited by Hollyhobbie; 02-10-2020 at 09:40 AM.