I had a conversation with the beau last night, in regards to being cancelled on on Valentine’s Day. Long story, short: he didn’t have his daughter that week, so we made dinner plans which I got way too excited about. Daughter got upset, so he made plans with her and her sister, then cancelled on me with the thoughts that I wouldn’t think it was a big deal. It was, and it hurts, and it made me realize that this relationship means way more to me than it does to him, and so now I need to take the steps of pulling back a bit. How does one do that without resentment and going to the extreme of pulling back too much?
Valentine’s Day has always been kind of a painful day for me, and certainly nothing worth celebrating, so when I noted that he was kid-free that week (yay), and that was not only down to go out for a nice supper, but he’d been the one to suggest it (double yay), I was over the moon. I asked him last night if he had considered that I would have been more than happy to alter our plans and do a family dinner rather than a couple’s dinner, and the answer was no, he hadn’t considered that. I’m mostly upset that I wasn’t considered past the thought of, “oh, she won’t mind”. It makes me feel really unimportant, and I’m pretty upset about this realization. I just wish I’d have been considered, but I guess he’s not as considerate as I had thought. Am I making too big a deal out of this?
Valentine’s Day has always been kind of a painful day for me, and certainly nothing worth celebrating, so when I noted that he was kid-free that week (yay), and that was not only down to go out for a nice supper, but he’d been the one to suggest it (double yay), I was over the moon. I asked him last night if he had considered that I would have been more than happy to alter our plans and do a family dinner rather than a couple’s dinner, and the answer was no, he hadn’t considered that. I’m mostly upset that I wasn’t considered past the thought of, “oh, she won’t mind”. It makes me feel really unimportant, and I’m pretty upset about this realization. I just wish I’d have been considered, but I guess he’s not as considerate as I had thought. Am I making too big a deal out of this?