What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 09:33 PM Thread Starter
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What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I was catching up on my podcasts from Touch of Flavor. A bit of a warning. They specialize in kink and ethical non-monogamy. However, they often have advice that equally apply to monogamy as well as non-monogamy. This episode was a great one. And given a lot of the posts here dealing with slow withdrawal, it seemed this was particularly applicable.

https://atouchofflavor.com/085-whats...ng-or-silence/

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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:09 AM
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Cool Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

Oh, I can deal with silence alright ~ What I cannot deal with is screaming, loudness, boisterousness, and people who have a tendency to be losing it, either physically or emotionally!

Guess that's why God has made me so successful at being a football Referee/Crew Chief! I just savor putting up with out-of-control idiots(players/coaching staff) both on the sideline as well as out in the green! Undoubtedly, it must be my laid-back, easy-going demeanor

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Last edited by arbitrator; 02-14-2020 at 12:00 PM. Reason: Edit
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 07:13 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

Depends on the nature is the person. But for me silence. I bicker and yell because I care. When I was silent, it’s because I don’t care and I’m over the relationship.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 07:20 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I will fully admit I'm a yeller. I'm not proud of it. I think there's a difference between yelling and screaming but that could be me being defensive and trying to mitigate the fact that I yell. I could easily say it's because I grew up in a yelling household. My dad yelled all the time. But I'm an adult and know right from wrong so that'd feel like a cop out.

I'm sure my H would say silence would be more tolerable. I would say it too because my last relationship was physically abusive and filled with raging and screaming. It was scary.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 07:29 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

Screaming is worse. After a while, screaming and yelling have a tendency to be ignored. It's like the boy who cried wolf - you just don't pay attention anymore other than to think "I wish they would shut the hell up".

If you want someone's attention, talk softly. Save the screaming and yelling for emergencies.

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I now find myself wondering if anyone has actually listened to the the podcast. One of the main themes us that silence can be as much of a sign of a relationship in trouble, as one poster noted for him(?).

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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 11:05 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

In my personal opinion, neither are the preferred option. Silence has usually meant that a person is done and has nothing else to give in the relationship, or just doesn’t care anymore. Screaming is just unpleasant. But, there’s a difference between screaming and yelling or just getting louder. In my former marriage, I could get loud but never scream. For about the last 6-8 months of it though, I was pretty silent because at that point, I was done and had stopped caring and trying.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 11:05 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

In all honesty, I have not listened to the podcast you're talking about. I have experienced both inside the walls of marriage. My first wife and I were not very good with sharing our feelings and we rug swept and kept things quiet to far too much of an extreme to be healthy with each other. Hardly any fighting whatsoever, which is probably just as harmful as too much fighting. As for my current marriage, that would be the loud side. We fight a lot. Loudly. Or at least used to. I've stopped with it because I can see how just as not fighting isn't healthy, there's another side of the coin that says too much fighting is unhealthy and toxic. We are not long for staying married.

In my estimation, seeing both, screaming is much much worse.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:46 PM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I find silence to be deafening.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:52 PM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I've been in a relationship that was full of screaming and one with deafening silence. One is just as emotionally damaging as the other honestly.

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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old Today, 02:16 AM
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Re: What’s Worse In a relationship? Screaming? Or Silence?

I hate silence.
I would rather scream it all out so it can be worked on instead of being ignored.


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