I really think that she is manipulating you -- you rug swept the first cheating, and I would not be surprised if she is cheating again -- look at her phone if you can (without her knowing) -- look at your phone records, etc.. I think you are being played here.
Idk about manipulating me I mean besides the issues i have said here we have had a pretty good life and some good times. Lots of factors here of course. Yes I swept it under the rug which was a mistake that's for sure. She currently doesn't live here anymore so I can't look at her phone if I wanted to and she deletes her messages, we both do discovered a few years back our phones run quicker when not clogged with so many messages. Idk about being played either but i def feel like she is putting all the blame on me and I'm sure talking to her friends and listening to what they say but
of course with only one side of the story.
DNA test... Not needed my child without a doubt. But to add I found out she cheated about 1 to 2 months after it happened. She didn't tell me I suspected something and went in her phone. The messages were there and he was trying again and saying lots of things. From what she did tell me and what I saw it happened once and was very quick. Not that makes a difference or anything.
I do agree with you to some point on going out with coworkers but I am also not trying to be controlling but i did let my thoughts about it be heard. If she did go out it was with a large group of them but I did struggle with it and usually wasn't very nice about it.
The cheating happened on a lunch break he had met up with her for it and it was just them.
The comments i mean are from usually the same 2 people and the stuff they say about her is mostly about her disability status and making fun of her. The sexual stuff the say is towards other girls who usually arnt there so I'm sure they say stuff like that about her when she's not there. They are both older one is over 60 and one is nearing and they are just loud mouths but of it shouldn't happen. Of course some of the girls like the attention so that doesn't help things.
I am considering taking to someone no matter what. In terms of why I accepted it so easily I guess all it love. we wanted to move on together. Is what it is at this point.
I understand that she was having an emotional relationship with this man and I don't believe it to be sexual and I know she is doing it again now that she has left. It did hurt. I told her it did she doesn't accept the the fact that it is a relationship but she did stop and we tried to move on and at that point I was trying to be more open towards her and she said she wasn't doing the same but I guess I was wrong there.
The lack of sex was originally because of all the medical issues she was having and we did talk about it. She has back injury, Hip injury which was the major factor at that point, neck injury and then got Diagnosed with RA. It was defiantly a rough time but as time went on I suspected something else was going on and she did try to be a bit more intimate with me but still had no desire for sex.
I'm not sure if we are 100% over or not I'm getting mixed messages but that's how she always has been. She has sat and listened to me and she has given me some feedback which leads me to believe she still wants us to figure out how to make it work but she has said multiple times said that she's not sure if she wants this and has also said maybe with time. She has never used my injuries as a reason for anything. I have to some extent because I do forget things and when she would come at me with a bunch of stuff built up over time I wouldn't remember some of it and have said to her that I don't believe I said that or maybe it was supposed to be a joke but its tough to communicate that way in general. Told her multiple times needs to happen at the time there is an issue. She acknowledges that she holds things back or ignores them and hopes they go away which is a problem.
The cheating happened little over 4 years ago now.. The emotional relationship with the older man was about 5 or 6 months ago.