Frazzleds Musi 2ngs Part
God showed me something the other day.
Short recap for newer readers - I was a virgin when I got married, wife said same. Turns out later she lied about many things. (finding out even more as we go thru divorce).
Anyways, back to the night my wife & I first had intercourse. May be a bit TMI for some people.
I am uncircumcised. I always pulled back skin & cleaned. Never had any discomfort.
Shortly after I entered wife & we started in earnest, I felt a sharp pain & when I pulled out, blood everywhere.
At first I thought it was from my wife, but quickly realized it was me. I scheduled a appointment with a urologist & my wife insisted on coming along.
I'm sitting in exam room with wife after a nurse had done a prelim exam, when a 30's age doc comes in. As he walks by me he slaps me on the back and says "First time eh". I was surprised but I said yes, how did you know?.
He proceeds to pull back foreskin and show me where I had a blood vessel attached right at seam between foreskin and shaft. He said that it never hurt when showering, but once I got "vigorous" with it, it tore.
He told how he was gonna make a small incision & tuck vessel inside out of way.
When wife & I were driving away from clinic she says "hmmp, I guess you weren't lying". I said "About what?". Wife - "About being a virgin." Me - "I would never lie about something like that" wife - "guys usually lie about stuff like that" me - "I'm not like other guys"
I never really thought too much about conversation as I was too busy driving and worrying about this doc that within a week was gonna be cutting on me in a sensitive area.
Over the years I would ask God "Why did that happen to me?.
Recently with the divorce proceedings, I was having prayer time, and I was doing some reflecting and I asked God again, "What was that all about?" The the answer came "It wasn't about you, I used that incident to show your wife that you were a genuine person."
STBXW was out packing her things today, I stayed out of house. When she left, she told our son if there was anything on a pile he wanted, he could take it, otherwise she was throwing stuff out.
On pile was our wedding picture and her wedding bouquet. I picked them both up and set them aside.
My son looked at me and asked why i was keeping them.
I said I was keeping picture for 2 reasons, 1, I remember feeling like I was the happiest, luckiest man that day. 2. as a reminder to enjoy the good days, but not let being so happy blind me from potential red flags.
He asked why I was keeping flowers. I explained that they were silk flowers that I had picked out. My bride to be had a sister that had a medical emergency arise in another state right when wedding was being planned. My wife was out of town for 2-3 weeks. While she was out of town, I made decisions on flowers, renting venue, etc. I went with silk flowers, which have been in a shadowbox on wall for years.
I've been doing some thinking about our marriage, and seeing those flowers reminded me of past events and I realized - I stepped up, even before our marriage, I stepped up and did what was best for us.
Her walking away from us is on her. I ain't perfect, but I am able to say that I did my best.
And furthermore, I believe God will take this bad time and turn it to good in the future.
Last edited by FrazzledSadHusband; 10-06-2019 at 12:41 AM.