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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 07:57 PM Thread Starter
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Dreading Tomorrow

Those of you who know my story, tomorrow I am taking the kids to see their mom. Also be the first time I see my STBXW since she got served. I am not looking forward to the emotional hurricane that will be coming from the kids. Wish me luck

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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 08:32 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

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Those of you who know my story, tomorrow I am taking the kids to see their mom. Also be the first time I see my STBXW since she got served. I am not looking forward to the emotional hurricane that will be coming from the kids. Wish me luck
In jail, or is she not in yet?


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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 08:34 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

Take someone with you the first time and let them help you by taking up the kids to her until you feel comfortable, please please please take a hottie, let her drop off the kids. Then it will be a nice setting for future engagements.

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If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 08:37 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

Then if she gets excited and goes off, they will cut the visit really short.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 09:39 AM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

Hello Numb, how did it go?

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 03:45 PM Thread Starter
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Hello Numb, how did it go?
About how you would have expected. Kids happy to see their Mom, then crying all the way home. STBXW trying to talk to me about what happened and me.making her focus on the kids because that's the only reason I went. Then me doing some drinking when I got home. LOL
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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 03:56 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

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About how you would have expected. Kids happy to see their Mom, then crying all the way home. STBXW trying to talk to me about what happened and me making her focus on the kids because that's the only reason I went. Then me doing some drinking when I got home. LOL
For what it's worth, it does get better. My kids used to cry the whole way home from visiting their mom, or fight and try to kill each other. I don't know when that stopped but somewhere along the way, after many months, it did stop.
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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 04:01 PM
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For some reason the image in my mind of your kids crying all the way back home touched a nerve on me, and made my eyes watery.

I'm so sorry for you and your kids. I cannot fully comprehend your pain; although, cognitively I know what it must be. Eventually, everything will solve itself; it's just a matter of time. Wishing the best to you and your kids.
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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 04:47 PM Thread Starter
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About how you would have expected. Kids happy to see their Mom, then crying all the way home. STBXW trying to talk to me about what happened and me making her focus on the kids because that's the only reason I went. Then me doing some drinking when I got home. LOL
For what it's worth, it does get better. My kids used to cry the whole way home from visiting their mom, or fight and try to kill each other. I don't know when that stopped but somewhere along the way, after many months, it did stop.
I am hoping the therapist that the kids have now can help shorten that period.
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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
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For some reason the image in my mind of your kids crying all the way back home touched a nerve on me, and made my eyes watery.

I'm so sorry for you and your kids. I cannot fully comprehend your pain; although, cognitively I know what it must be. Eventually, everything will solve itself; it's just a matter of time. Wishing the best to you and your kids.
Thank you so much

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post #11 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 05:01 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

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I am hoping the therapist that the kids have now can help shorten that period.
Having the therapist should help. My kids had (have) therapists but it still took quite a while to get better, but there was a lot going on. I think the frequency of visits is a factor as well. My kids went for visits about once a month. If they were going more often the crying and acting out may have stopped sooner. A big break in between visits was hard for them.

Something that I found helpful was having time with the kids, after each visit, to decompress. Go to a park, go for a walk, go to a movie, etc. It was good for everyone.
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post #12 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 05:03 PM Thread Starter
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I am hoping the therapist that the kids have now can help shorten that period.
Having the therapist should help. My kids had (have) therapists but it still took quite a while to get better, but there was a lot going on. I think the frequency of visits is a factor as well. My kids went for visits about once a month. If they were going more often the crying and acting out may have stopped sooner. A big break in between visits was hard for them.

Something that I found helpful was having time with the kids, after each visit, to decompress. Go to a park, go for a walk, go to a movie, etc. It was good for everyone.
The therapist had previously suggested that so I took off rest of this week so I could be here for the kids
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post #13 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 05:37 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

I also agree that the alcohol for yourself was a good call in this situation.
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post #14 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 05:40 PM
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Re: Dreading Tomorrow

I'm so sorry man. I remember being that kid, and I can't imagine how hard that was on my mom.

It got better, though. And I don't blame my mom for any of it; I'm thankful she got me out of a **** show situation with my bio dad.
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post #15 of 44 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 06:10 PM Thread Starter
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I'm so sorry man. I remember being that kid, and I can't imagine how hard that was on my mom.

It got better, though. And I don't blame my mom for any of it; I'm thankful she got me out of a **** show situation with my bio dad.
I can be strong for the kids like your mom was for you.
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