Long distance all of a sudden - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 08:18 PM Thread Starter
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Long distance all of a sudden

So my wife left me after spending our entire lives together. Met her when I was 19 she was 21. We been together every since. Real good relationship no flights or arguing no cheating just a bunch of love. 16 years together. She was my only relationship ever. I married my very first girlfriend. Recently we came upon financial troubles got evicted from our apartment and I had to move from cali to Vegas so I wouldn't be homeless. Since I got here or conversations have been great. She said she loves me misses me and tried to come see me once but caught a cold and d idnt want to make the drive. Think there's any chance for reconciliation? Would love any thoughts on this matyer.

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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 08:33 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

Hi, @Truth22, welcome to TAM.

We need some more details, please. Any children? Where is she living?

Are you having any support? Is she?


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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 08:33 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

Why did she stay in Cali? And besides being homeless why are you in Vegas?

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 08:52 PM Thread Starter
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She stayed with her parents who she loves but treats her like crap. She had a daughter from another relationship and we raised her together. She said her daughter talks about me all the time and they both miss me. I moved to Vegas to live with my family and have tons of support. I just worry about the distance. How do I get her to fall back in love if I can't see her?
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Long distance all of a sudden

Any advice on how to get your wife to fall back in love with you if you had to move away suddenly?
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:20 PM
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Re: Long distance all of a sudden

You can't do that only she can love you the way she can! Why what's up?

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:21 PM
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Re: Long distance all of a sudden

Why are you in Vegas and why did she remain?

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:23 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

You should have never left her in the care of her parents that's your job.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:34 PM Thread Starter
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So we got evicted and she was mad at me. She says she worked harder to keep us together than I did. It's partly true. She worked 2 jobs and I worked part time and went to school full time to try to better our financial situation. We got caught up in our own lives and only spent time together Tuesday mornings. No kids together just hers that we raised together so it's like she's mine. She says she just fell out of love and I let it happen. She stayed in Cali with her family and I had to move back in with my family in Vegas. All of our conversations have been great. No fighting or arguing, she just haven't budged in 3 months. She says she loves me and ill find someone else. I tell her that she's the only one for me, because she is only girlfriend I ever had. How do I get through to her?
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:37 PM Thread Starter
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I had no choice I was sleeping in my car for a month trying to convince her to give us a try. I thought we were doing well but on the day we were supposed to look for new apartments she showed up pissed. Said she can't live with me and suggested I come to vegas.

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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:52 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

So you do everything your wife tells you, do I got this right? So did you get a job while you were living in your car? Why did you ever let it get to this point? What she gave youis a test of character. Maybe this will define something for you.

Author Unknown

The test of a man is the fight that he makes,
The grit that he daily shows,
The way he stands upon his feet,
And takes life’s numerous bumps and blows.

A coward can smile when there’s naught to fear.
And nothing his progress bars,
But it takes a man to stand and cheer,
While the other fellow stars.

It isn’t the victory after all
But the fight that a Brother makes.
A man when driven against the wall,
Still stands erect and takes the blows of fate

With his head held high,
bleeding, bruised and pale,
Is the man who will win and fate defied,
For he isn’t afraid to fail

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 10:00 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

Well in your other thread, what you said was the final speech ILYBNILWY, she's done for he most part so you let her work 2 jobs while you were working part-time and then you want her back the woman is tired, even though her had a daughter who you both raised.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 10:01 PM Thread Starter
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Yep. I already had a job. And since coming to Vegas I got two jobs and make more money than.i ever have. I just fell into a depression in Cali and she said she would handle the rent while I took care of everything else. She never told me we were behind on the rent or she was unhappy. I would've doubled my hours if I knew. I thought we were okay because I saw so many Amazon packages. As far as coming to Vegas, I feel like I didn't have a choice. I was in my car working six days a week and it was just too much. I have an apartment lined up for us here but ahe is hesitant. Says she will never trust me financially again.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 10:25 PM
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re: Long distance all of a sudden

Quote:
Originally Posted by Truth22 View Post
Says she will never trust me financially again.
Ok, you have got wise real quick, but what are you going to do about the ILYBNILWY= I love you but not in love with you? Something was going on already with the pkgs arriving and her not telling you about the home front. The way it looks like is she had this all planned out on releasing you. Maybe she met another in one of her two jobs, someone who could give her more than you could. Sorry man sometimes the way life unfolds is what you have to take.

How long were you married? Or were you just living together?

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 10:39 PM Thread Starter
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Together 16 married 8. No way there somebody else. Just money issues. I don't know what to do about the ILYBNILWY part. She was gonna drive out here to see me but caught a cold and didn't want to drive 5 hours feeling sick. Thing is I can now take care of all the financial needs, she doesn't even have to work. She just doesn't trust me.
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