I had posted a little about this on another thread...
The idea of mate guarding is that if you become aware that someone else is checking out or interested in your mate, you move in and remind this person that your mate is taken...in whatever way works for you. This could be done with just a look in some cases. Or it could be done by physically getting in someone's face, if that's how it plays out.
I haven't run into a case where I needed to c0ck block someone interacting with my wife. Generally we are not in places where gamers hunt.
But what about guarding yourself on your mate's behalf? Do you do things that would qualify as this?
One example I always do is that I avoid spending extra time with anyone I feel strong sexual attraction to. In some cases it can't be avoided, but mostly it can. I just don't develop friendships with anyone like this, and if it is someone I work with in some capacity, I just don't spend more time with them than is necessary to get the work done and I avoid getting into personal discussions.
I also make sure to keep a "non flirty" vibe with anyone I feel chemistry or sexual attraction to....whereas I may be "innocently flirty" with people who I know for certain will not ever make me compromise my feelings for my partner.
I can think of some other examples but just wondered if others consciously do this.
In Marriage Builders, they call this taking extraordinary precautions, and usually this is suggested for after an affair...but to some degree, I think it is just something we should all do to do avoid developing crushes on other people....but having said that, I know some people have truly innocent crushes, and I am not talking about those. For myself, I just always make sure I don't have enough feelings (sexual or emotional) for anyone to develop any crush at all.
This is really a discussion about boundaries.
Each of us should have appropriate boundaries for all of our interactions with OSFs and our same sex friends.
* Include spouse in as many activities with friends as possible
* Say nothing that you can't say in front of your spouse
* No bad talking about either spouse
* Minimize alone time with OSFs
* No touching beyond greeting formalities.
* Don't communiate with the opposite sex more than your same gender friends or your spouse (includes talk, phone, text, FB etc.)
* Do not do anything online that you wouldn’t do in person.
* Transparency: it should be obvious what you are doing and with whom. There should be no secrets (with the exception of surprise parties etc.). Both spouses should have access to all facebook accounts, email passwords, and cell phones.
Each person may have a slightly different list which may be more or less restrictive but it is critical that one has and abides by boundaries that are agreed upon with your spouse.
By having these boundaries and others we minimize the chance of developing feelings for another that could lead to it supplanting our emotional investment in our spouse.