, I was like you when I had more things to do than time to do them. It sounds like you are a very resonsible person, who has bitten off more than she can chew, while still enjoying life.
Years ago when I was stressed out with all the things I had (chosen) to do I had a friend who had peace. Her family was larger than mine and even so she had more peace than I had.
1. Her house was not as clean as mine. (her house was actually filthy.) For example, I washed out the kitchen garbage can once a week, she never washed hers out. I washed cabinet fronts if they got splashed, she did not. Her children were taught to do chores, and she didn't care how well the chores were done, as long as they were done. I wanted my house clean, so either I did the work myself, or if a child did it, I taught them how to do it and checked up on their work later on. Her: no stress. Me: lots of stress.
2. She didn't worry about finances: they were in huge debt and it was rising. She did not buy food on sale, did not learn to make anything herself instead of buying it ready made, etc. She bought food that she thought was deliciuos and easy to make, regardless of the price. (Rising debt would stress me out, but it didn't stress her out.)
3. Children unkempt. Their clothes had rips in them, girls' hair matted. The children didn't care, and neither did she. Less work, no stress. Definitely not my style. I sewed/rapaired my children's clothes. I brushed and styled all my daughters' hair every morning.
4. Her yard was a mess. Grass dying, sprinkler heads broken. I only know that because she told me. She worried about the neighbors complaining, but not enough to do anything about it. She had her own priorities: spending quality time with her children.
I realized that people are just different. I did learn from her that I needed to look at everything felt responsible for, and needed to decide how important it really was to me. I learned to start saying "no" to some things, but also knew which things were important to me enough tokeep doing.
For example, I quit dusting the house every week, and moved it out to once a month. It just didn't matter. Quit polishing our copper pots every time I washed them. Quit fixing every little hole that got in the childrens' clothes. Spread out housecleaning jobs to a level that was tolerable to me, and which gave me more time. Got rid of our pet laying hens, since the children did not do any of the chores related to them. (We sold them for $5 each and I let them have the money from their own chickens.) I began to use paper plates for lunch on home school days, and that gave me a huge amount of time. The children ate a lot of chicken fingers for lunch instead of homemade food. They preferred the chicken fingers anyway.
It might take a couple of rounds of you evaluating your responsibilities and eliminating some to get to a point where you feel you can breathe. Even so, because of your high sense of responsibility you will probably be more high strung than you like until your life slows down on its own.
Don't beat up on yourself. Be your own friend and give yourself kudos for your high standards while trying to figure out what you can take off the list of things you must do.