I do go down on my husband and occasionally to completion. I do it more now than earlier in the relationship. So I don't know if I count.
I can say very simply... What's in it for me? I like pleasing my husband but there are plenty of ways to please him that involve pleasure for me too. I'm lucky because he enjoys PIV to oral. He lasts too long with oral like 20 minutes or more and his size versus my mouth just doesn't work well. Just as he's about to cum ( of course just about seems to means could be forever left) he swells which makes it really uncomfortable and hard not to scrap.
But the craziest thing I hear on this forum is if she doesn't want to have sex she could at least give me a blow job? Really? A quickie is easier than a blow job. And at least even if I don't get an orgasm I at least get some good feelings and take alot less effort than a blow job?
How many times do men go down on women and then walk off without getting anything themself? And do it over and over again?
I prefer sex to be pleasurable for both.
So what do you like oral for so much. It seems like most times oral is depicted as a power trip or something demeaning. Why is it so important to some men?
I do go down on my husband and occasionally to completion. I do it more now than earlier in the relationship. So I don't know if I count.
I can say very simply... What's in it for me? I like pleasing my husband but there are plenty of ways to please him that involve pleasure for me too. I'm lucky because he enjoys PIV to oral. He lasts too long with oral like 20 minutes or more and his size versus my mouth just doesn't work well. Just as he's about to cum ( of course just about seems to means could be forever left) he swells which makes it really uncomfortable and hard not to scrap.
For me going down on my wife was easily the most erotic thing I did with my wife. Of course since she was female I didn't really have to worry about size issues.
But the craziest thing I hear on this forum is if she doesn't want to have sex she could at least give me a blow job? Really? A quickie is easier than a blow job. And at least even if I don't get an orgasm I at least get some good feelings and take alot less effort than a blow job?
If she's not aroused at all sex could lack any of the pleasurable feeling, could be uncomfortable, or even hurt. Some women have scar tissue caused by pregnancy complications or other medical problems that make PIV sex painful. Hands and mouths don't have that limitation.
How many times do men go down on women and then walk off without getting anything themself? And do it over and over again?
I prefer sex to be pleasurable for both.
So what do you like oral for so much. It seems like most times oral is depicted as a power trip or something demeaning. Why is it so important to some men?
My ex rarely achieved orgasm with PIV sex and always did with oral. During the last few years of our marriage she rarely liked me enough to want sex but would receive oral at least somewhat regularly and I could get that feeling of closeness and connection without asking for something she wouldn't want to do and getting turned down. I would have done it as often as she wanted to be honest.
In my limited experience sex often involves a certain amount of physical and mental calculus of delaying orgasm for yourself and paying attention to the cues that she is giving consciously and unconsciously about what you are doing *this time* that she likes or not. Receiving oral reduces the mental load a ton while likely ending in an orgasm. Giving oral eliminates the need to pay attention to my own body while being *almost* as much fun.
Its not my favourite thing but its not an issue for us because my husband much prefers PIV to oral anyway. Also there is a LOT that you can do with your hands.:smile2:
As to why? The same reason that people prefer anything over something else in life, its a preference. Like I prefer some foods to others. No particular reason, but I do think that women have a perfectly good vagina that is specifically designed for the penis in sex, whereas a mouth isn't designed to stretch etc.
And oral should be very reciprocal and even if the guy doesn't get a bi, it shouldn't preclude him from doing oral on her if that's one if her favorite ways to reach orgasm.
And for me, I just like doing it, to two to four Os for her. I think it's a blast.
To be honest the mouth wasn't actually designed for sex, the genitals were. Some choose to use them for that and that's fine, but you only have to look at the mouth to see that unlike the vagina its not the right design for oral sex. Same with the anus. The muscles in the anus all go the wrong way for taking something in, they are designed for expelling which is why some people get damaged though frequent anal sex and later in life have problems with leakage.
Some people (both men and women) don't like giving or receiving oral sex. I've had partners who felt that way and just accepted that it was something we didn't do - all relationships involve compromise.
There's no need to invoke unscientific design or theology to justify their dislike of oral sex. That they don't want to do it is good enough for me.
Personally, I feel they're missing out on something that can be pleasurable and has no downside, but that's their choice. Surely, nobody should be pressured into doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Well... in my first marriage I totally hated it! he had poor hygiene and didn't groom properly.
In my second marriage when the love was there and we were connected on that level... I loved being the giver!
Never cared about getting my rocks off, I just truly enjoyed doing it period. For the longest time that was our number one go to... I mean what guy doesn't want that?
I think it all just depends on the woman and what kind of life she has endured when it comes to Sex and all that goes with it.
I like giving oral, but I'm picky. I've had my share of partners, but have given oral to only a handful of them. For me, it's an attraction thing. If I'm very highly attracted I want to give provided my partner is hygienic. If I'm less attracted it's not something that really appeals.
I will speak for my wife who is not here to speak for herself.
If she has ever given it to anyone, I don't know about it, and I highly doubt it. She finds the whole concept of oral sex, male or female, intensely disgusting. As in just the thought of it makes her a little sick to her stomach.
Just seeing this thread now. I work with a bunch of women who have never and will never either perform or receive oral sex and they are NOT shy about their preference. One woman acts like anyone who is into that is an absolute freak of nature and needs psychiatric help. She once had a patient's partner ask if oral sex was okay since PIV was not safe in the pregnancy. I thought it was a good question. She came out of the room all freaked out an announced how disgusting the guy was and that *that* particular act was not happening in her marriage as if that made her a much more worthwhile human being. LOL
I think they all just think it's completely disgusting and only *****s do it. I feel badly for their husbands.
I once told them they have no idea what they are missing and they should give it a try. I think they think I'm a pervert now. And they don't even know yet that I almost married a guy who isn't white!! :surprise:
This is the other "far end" of the spectrum I was believing, just my opinion, that would come out and provide a highlight of those who "well, I certainly never would etc etc". !!
I must be the opposite of some. It's my fave sexual act.
I like giving oral....don't much care for getting it. If he's down there on me, I'm doing it to please him.
I get more pleasure giving it and that's why I do it. Seems to be win win for the guy if he likes getting it. Only issues arise if I find a man who loves giving it....and I'm not interested in getting it. It's messy, slobbery and I can get myself off much better while giving it.
But that's just me. I have a couple of stipulations though: keeping it shaved makes it sooo much better for both of us and it's going to be washed first.
When I tell my guy to "go wash", he knows what's about to happen
Along and along there seem some details coming out that there are certain women (that may make up groups?) that won't even consider it but the reasons why, actually, really why they won't isn't broached yet.
There are some physical justifications (as in my gag reflex will never allow it etc) that will be used, and some of that will be reality.
But some of those justifications will be used as a convenient crutch to deflect from real reasons just imho.
Unless I missed it I've seen no reasons that start with "because it makes me feel..." or "I don't feel my husband...(pick one) deserves it" or other feelings based reasons why a woman won't try or do it regularly. While in some cases a man still does oral on her.
There are discussions "out there" that advise women do or don't do many things because of feelings based wayfinding, I'm trying to be more educated in that area.
The women I mentioned above are pretty much in agreement that it is dirty, disgusting, and only a woman with no self respect would do it or receive it. Those are their reasons. They are all older, early to mid 60's and were virgins when they married and are still married to the same man. It might be a generational thing.
If I'm attracted to a guy and I like/respect him I'm happy to give. I don't care to do it to completion though....not because I have any particular issue with it but because I find it pretty arousing and don't want things to end there. >
My wife used to think that women giving oral to men was degrading / disgusting. Then for some reason a couple of years ago she started doing it a bit, not does it frequently (in the very infrequent occasions that we have sex at all).
For the discussion it may be worth separating unreciprocated oral, and oral along with other mutual activities.
Good to know there are women out there like this. I am about to embark on the dating scene again and I will add this to my list of interview questions. If the answer is no, or no to completion....next!
I don't know if you have to explicitly ask about the oral sex but definitely mention your desire for someone who does it to completion. I am one of those women who does not like semen in her mouth so knowing up front that this is a deal breaker is a very good thing. Allows both people to not waste time. Sexual compatibility is crucial.
What? That's my favorite thing to do. JK! lol It's not my favorite thing, but I like to give my husband pleasure.
I actually like giving more than receiving. He is great at bringing me to pleasure with oral sex, but it takes me a while to relax as opposed to other positions and methods.
If a woman doesn't want to ever give oral sex, I suppose that is up to her. No one should be forced to perform sex acts they don't like, and there's nothing wrong with anyone who doesn't like to do certain things.
It's a bit unclear why my wife won't provide oral. She doesn't "like" it. And she complains that manual stimulation is too hard for her hands (arthritis). It could be a subset of other issues in the process of being resolved, basically more guilt about sex and as you move away from what's "required" (the minimum that consulting adults can do and be called "having sex with your husband or wife") guilt becomes an increasingly-greater issue.
She did go along with "manual" (ok, a hand job) a couple weeks ago, and with some help from me, it worked. I found a way to actually do the hard part while she got credit for it, if that makes sense.
So maybe part of the issue is simply that it's too much work? And in the case of being submissive to oral (performed on a guy) it can be an almost violent and extraordinarily-selfish-appearing act. Grabbing hair and pulling someone down on you in a way they have to learn not to choke? I think it would be really easy for a woman to get turned off by that if she went into it not being comfortable.
As humans I believe we are always trying to challenge or change our original design.
Some cultures are a little bit extreme like the African tribe that use lip plates, or the neck stretching tribe in South Asia. All performed in women to either attract men or show they belong to a man.
Where I live I'm surrounded by people who are changing the original human design. People wear braces, have piercings, have had plastic surgery to change and reduce body parts. Isn't that a change in our original design? Is it bad? Does it work?
Going back to oral sex, if you wear anything to change your original mouth anatomy, would that mean your mouth could be redesign to perform oral sex?
To tell you the truth, I have never stopped myself and think, "wait, am I designed to do this or that?" I'm aware of my limitations but that doesn't mean I'm not going to at least try it.
I myself believe it's on the more intimate side of PIV sex.
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