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-   -   Down Sides of Dating You (https://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/437085-down-sides-dating-you.html)

Lila 10-24-2019 04:48 PM

Down Sides of Dating You
 
There's a perks thread so this is the red flags one. What's the down side of dating you?

Ikaika 10-24-2019 04:52 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
Have both an intensity and laid back personality, at times it can be caustic. Just admitting who I am.


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Andy1001 10-24-2019 04:54 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lila (Post 20014851)
There's a perks thread so this is the red flags one. What's the down side of dating you?

I hardly ever get tired and I only need a couple of hours sleep every night.
So unless weíre having sex I wonít be spending much time in bed with you.

Lila 10-24-2019 04:55 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
Since I started the thread, I'll start. I have zero patience with everything but with dating especially. I don't have patience to let things develop. If it's not there at the get go, I move on.

Girl_power 10-24-2019 05:00 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I have very black and white thinking. And I have been told that I am judgemental.

GTdad 10-24-2019 05:06 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I'm married? And literally have eight kids?

Lila 10-24-2019 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GTdad (Post 20014877)
I'm married? And literally have eight kids?

EIGHT kids?!?!!

Dang @GTdad. Did you just look at your wife with intention and she got pregnant?lol

Affaircare 10-24-2019 05:11 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
Well I am married, but was single not too very long ago. One downside to dating me is that I am a very blunt person. Now, that can be a two-edged sword! On one hand, you never wonder where you stand with me or what I want cuz I don't play games...on the other hand, I will say exactly what is on my mind. So there's that.

I'm also a bit impatient, but more like my Taurus sign than like a kid. I am easy-going and not too much bothers me, but when it does bother me, I am BOTHERED. Like... I'm patient, I'm patient, I'm patient, you are starting to bug me, that bugs me, GOOD GOD I AM SO DONE!

I'm not rich. I am not in debt and I don't spend beyond my means, but if you are looking for a sugar momma, it's not me.

I'm not a rare beauty. I truly think of myself as a hobbit, in that hobbits are not ugly and are home-loving, family-loving, food-loving, curvy folks, and boy that's me! I don't look good in a ball gown and heels and I don't wear makeup--then again I can be ready and out the door in 15 minutes. ;)

I have some insecurities and PTSD that I struggle with internally. Now, I try to be aware that those are mine to wrestle and keep the responsibility on me, but by the same token, @Emerging Buddhist is a saint for being so patient with telling me for the gazillionth time that YEP, he does love me. I am not sure if he can tell when my PTSD is triggered, but I suspect he can because he's pretty aware.

I've been married twice, and cheated once. Now, I can't do anything about either one of marriages: one ended when exH cheated on me, and one ended in death. Still lots of folks would cross me right off the list just from 2 marriages. I also was unfaithful once, and again although I firmly believe I learned and grew from it, lots of folks wouldn't even look at me because of that past.

notmyjamie 10-24-2019 05:12 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I'm a redhead and I fit the stereotype very well...you don't want to see me angry. Sometimes going out sounds wonderful at 11am when you ask but by 8pm after my job and kids have sucked the life out of me I just want my pajamas and a cup of tea with a good tv show/movie. I do go, but I've lost a lot of my enthusiasm for it. I don't trust easily...it takes time, a lot of time for me to open up emotionally.

Lila 10-24-2019 05:54 PM

Oh man, thinking about this has brought up so many of my red flags. On top of being impatient I am a planner (a.k.a. not very spontaneous) with how I spend my time.

My friends jokingly ask me to do things last minute only to immediately respond with a head slap emoji and "what was I thinking".

First thing do every morning is open my calendar on my phone and scroll through my appointments, conference calls, and other scheduled things. I like stability. Last minute changes stress me out.

Faithful Wife 10-24-2019 05:54 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
You guys are awesome. Very honest and vulnerable.

If you were around at the time, you may recall that I never did say exactly what was up with my ex-h and why we ended up divorced. That was because I just could not bring myself to say anything bad about him here. It didn't seem fair to him. And I loved him so much regardless of those issues, that I just couldn't hurt him like that (by telling strangers personal details about him which would not have been flattering).

But I also can't bring myself to say negative things about the dude I just broke it off with. It just feels wrong, even though I have no reason to "protect" him. And I know everyone here would support me and tell me it was time for him to go if I did say it. But it just feels wrong to say it.

And when it comes to my own down sides...I fear you would all judge me and I can't bear the thought of it! Ha ha! I also feel this isn't quite anonymous for me here, as I have actually met people from TAM and hope to meet more. I have shared some things via PM that I haven't on the board though, so at least there is that.

Some part of me is always afraid that someone I know in person will find me here, and even though I share all kinds of sex stuff, that doesn't bother me at all. But sharing this kind of stuff about myself or about anyone I'm dating...I just can't seem to do it.

But I'll always be here to rah rah all the good stuff. :laugh:

uhtred 10-24-2019 06:08 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I'm super easy-going about almost everything, but very rigid on a few things - like a ball of cotton with a razor blade in it.

Marduk 10-24-2019 06:08 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I have the attention span of a ferret on speed.

But when someone has my attention, Iím told itís intimidating.

I bore very easily and am very high maintenance.

I love to stir the pot and push buttons. I will often argue a contrarian position just because.

Iím essentially a smart five year old with a high sex drive.

One of my best female friends once said to me while I was single ďyou know, with a little Ritalin and a dominatrix, youíd be a perfect man.Ē

ConanHub 10-24-2019 06:28 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
I'm a serious research nerd and I can start rambling about nonsense that I find fascinating.:grin2:

notmyjamie 10-24-2019 06:34 PM

Re: Down Sides of Dating You
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ConanHub (Post 20014983)
I'm a serious research nerd and I can start rambling about nonsense that I find fascinating.:grin2:

That can be a good thing if what you're interested in is a good topic. The life cycle of the fruit fly might not interest me but if you were studying something cool like a period in history, I'd love it.


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