I try not to get too involved in the singles thread, but sometimes I see something that makes my heart go plunk and I have to respond. An example is Lila making a comment that sounds like she thinks the reason the man she was talking about isn't interested in her is that she isn't beautiful enough. I found that to be disturbing.
Lila, we have all seen your gorgeous eyes, so you saying you aren't beautiful didn't sit well with me. I figured he didn't say that to you, but had to check to make sure. From reading your posts lately, you seem to be feeling insecure. Whether or not he's attracted to you physically, it is likely not the reason why he isn't interested in taking the relationship further.
I do feel insecure but and am trying to work through that with a therapist. But even my therapist agrees that modern dating is brutal. She's 72 and been practicing for over 40 years. She sees more people suffering from insecurity now than ever before.
It's very possible he's not into me physically (his previous gfs and wife were slim, I'm a size 12 on a good day). I don't begrudge him his preferences.
Thanks for thinking of me FP! I expect to transition to this thread throughout 2020 as my D unfolds. No dating yet, but no rush either.
I wanted to also comment on Lila and the insecurity issue. I think exiting a relationship or not being able to find one creates a lack of self confidence. I feel it in myself, despite not being able to “test” it yet in the real world. I follow her story and I hope she’ll meet someone and that will immediately boost her confidence.
Thanks for the good wishes.
I wish I could say that it's easier for men to date but I don't think so. You'll have to post updates when you dive in. I'd be curious to hear what it's like for you.
Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
OK, so I can see where you would gather that conclusion. Is it possible that his XW and XG just happened to be very beautiful, but he was with them because of their personality? You never know... and you are beautiful on your own; your beauty is not dependent on others, or invalidated by someone else's beauty. He may think you are more beautiful, or you may actually be more his type.
And besides, it's the friend who is categorizing the exes as so beautiful.
Regardless, based on what you've said previously, I don't think this is the guy for you anyway, so I'm not trying to push you into his arms. and if you get along, friendship is fine... and who knows, he might introduce you to the man of your dreams.
That is true. His exes may have been beautiful women with fantastic personalities. One does not invalidate the other. I know many women who fit the bill, and let's include successful to round out the trifecta.
In the words of my bestie, in a city where there are approximately 1.5 million single men, you'd think it would like shooting fish in a barrel. We laughed hard. C'est la vie.