Jimmy1962 Jimmy1962 is offline
- About Jimmy1962
- I am a:
- Relationship Status
- Length of time in current relationship:
- 30-40 yrs.
- Sexual Orientation
- After 35 years of what I thought was a perfect marriage, I find out my wife had 9 month sexual affair 20 years ago. She met her lover 5 times for sex. I am devastated.
I had wondered about the other man 20 years ago, he was a customer at my wife's business. I suspected him to be hanging around eying and flirting with her. She had denied it. Fast forward 17 years and my wife and I were in a lawsuit against our daughter, we were getting custody of our granddaughter. I was under a lot of stress and my doctor put me on Prozac. I did not take it long but a side effect was it gave me vivid memories while I slept. Not dreams but vivid memories like you were watching a DVD. I remembered many things about this guy and started asking questions. After writing my wife a heartfelt letter she confessed that they had an affair. She said it was not about me it was about her, she must have said that 100 times. She does not know why she did it. Maybe she will find out in therapy. She said they had sex but there was no connection, it was empty, and she now knows that sex without a connection is not for her. We were in a rough time back then. We had a lot stress from our businesses that we hated, and our teenage daughter was into drugs and boys. The stress was almost unbearable. This handsome Adonis Lover (he was a player) was lurking around her business flirting and talking almost daily.
So I find out now 20 years later. Everything is great now, we have retired and sold those pain the ass businesses, we spend every moment together just like we did from the beginning of our relationship until my daughter got on drugs. We are close and cuddling lovebirds like we were before, we are US again, everything is pretty good. Now I find out she had a lover, for me it is right now while everything is wonderful. In reality when he was in the picture everything was not wonderful.
The only thing that this guy had to do to have sex with my wife was to talk to her. When she talked, he listened. They talked about silly stuff, nothing important, they just talked. (wife's exact words)
Back then I didn't talk much if at all. I was stressed, pissed, and disappointed in every aspect of my life, I am sure I was miserable to be around. For me my only bright spot thru all of the bad times was my wife and our marriage. I loved her above everything else and I thought that she knew that. To me there was the US that was wonderful, we had a bunch of **** piled on us, but if you dust that off there was still the US underneath.
Looking back, I wish I had taken her for a walk every afternoon and held her hand, I wish I had dropped by her business with a flower or something to let her know how special she was to me, I knew but she did not.
As much as I want to I can not change the past, oh God how I wish that I could. The only thing that I can do is learn from the past and not repeat it. I want to be a better husband and I want my wife to know that I love her (flaws and all).
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|04:26 PM - Lila mentioned Jimmy1962 in post Re: New here |
...ed the thread. Jimmy1962 if you return and wo...
|11:45 AM - Music_Man mentioned Jimmy1962 in post Re: New here |
Jimmy1962 I'll make this sho...
|09:41 AM - StillSearching mentioned Jimmy1962 in post Re: New here |
Jimmy1962 I suggest filing for...
|08:03 AM - MattMatt mentioned Jimmy1962 in post Re: New here |
Jimmy1962 I have moved your th...
|05:46 PM - MattMatt mentioned Jimmy1962 in post Re: New here |
Jimmy1962 I would suggest coun...