Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was cheating - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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No, he's wrong Susie. It's ridiculous...
I totally agree with you!
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post #17 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 06:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Hi Susie, yes these other things are cheating.
Hey guys if a guy goes to a strip club is that considered cheating?


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I believe going to a strip club is cheating if it upsets your wife and you promised her that you wouldn't go. If something upsets your spouse then you should avoid hurting her.

In addition, I work at a Counseling Agency and many of my clients are strippers. Many strippers have been sexually abused as a child, have "daddy issues", on drugs, or need the money to pay rent. Many of my clients who are strippers have depression and anxiety, because of what the men say to them and they are constantly being forced to allow "touching," or they make no money. May men do get "extras" at strip clubs. This is very common.

So, as you probably guessed... I am against Strip Clubs!
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post #18 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 06:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Then I guess that means if you give another man a BJ, he'll be cool with it. lol
Good one!
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post #19 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 06:45 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Susie, you need to lay down the law here. Have you done so?

He's playing you...No one can be that dense lol
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post #20 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 07:05 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Yes but I lived through hell growing up.

I didn't think making out was cheating until my then gf now wife kicked a hole in our TV.

I changed my definition of cheating with her help and a destroyed television of course!
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post #21 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 07:18 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

My father told me the birds and the bees when I was a young man. Then my mother came in and they told me if I had any questions from either side I could ask. So after that, I was able to ask my mother and my father questions about sex and sexuality. I believe it allowed me to build a more rounded view of what a relationship should look like.

I, as a man, believe that my mate should have my 100% loyalty. All my intimacy should be reserved for her, and hers for me. It's fine to have friends, of course, but when it comes to emotional and sexual needs, that should be reserved for the two of us. That's the way I see it, as a man.
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post #22 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 07:34 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

I had a bf who thought making out wasn't cheating, surprisingly he felt differentially went I followed suit
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post #23 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 08:58 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Originally Posted by Susie42 View Post
I believe going to a strip club is cheating if it upsets your wife and you promised her that you wouldn't go. If something upsets your spouse then you should avoid hurting her.

In addition, I work at a Counseling Agency and many of my clients are strippers. Many strippers have been sexually abused as a child, have "daddy issues", on drugs, or need the money to pay rent. Many of my clients who are strippers have depression and anxiety, because of what the men say to them and they are constantly being forced to allow "touching," or they make no money. May men do get "extras" at strip clubs. This is very common.

So, as you probably guessed... I am against Strip Clubs!
Oh dear, every year my husband goes on a "lads trip" they always go to strip clubs in various European cities. So he's been doing this since the first year we went out 2007, so almost a decade.

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post #24 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:10 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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I think my husband already had a EA years ago
He is clearly trying to justify something.

maybe ask him if he would be ok with you doing things of a sexual nature with another men as long as its not actual intercourse.

The decent men dont think that.
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post #25 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:13 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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Oh dear, every year my husband goes on a "lads trip" they always go to strip clubs in various European cities. So he's been doing this since the first year we went out 2007, so almost a decade.

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wow, really? And you are ok with that?
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post #26 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:22 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

@Diana7 he tells me they always go when they're away. I suppose I'm used to it now. It's funny the other wives don't know these trips including my sister in law as my brother goes with the husband. I'm not allowed talk about around the girls if we're all out together.

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post #27 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:44 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

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@Diana7 he tells me they always go when they're away. I suppose I'm used to it now. It's funny the other wives don't know these trips including my sister in law as my brother goes with the husband. I'm not allowed talk about around the girls if we're all out together.

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Its just not something that either I or my husband would ever do and the fact that they are nearly all deceiving their wives is even worse.
To me faithfulness means not acting that way.
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post #28 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:54 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

That's crazy. Of course that's cheating. Only a person that's already cheating would say that.

I'd bet he'd change his tune if you told him you gave some dude a BJ. Try this tonight "Oh honey, I didn't have any money to tip the pizza delivery man, so I gave him a hand job. Is that ok?"
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post #29 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-07-2016, 09:55 PM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

@Diana7 they justify it as just looking as some girls dance like it's innocent but I said if it's so innocent why don't the other wives know?

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post #30 of 71 (permalink) Old 05-08-2016, 12:07 AM
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Re: Did you grow up thinking that only having intercourse with another woman was chea

Faithlessness begins at thinking about another woman that way. Realistically, that is going to happen and has to be accepted and forgiven. The question is really what is acceptable in a marriage.

The idea that a hand-job or a blow job is not cheating would be a result of warped upbringing (with apologies to @ConanHub ), but would not last long. Otherwise, it is either self-delusion or lies.
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